Allow Me To Elucidate
'Blether' is Scottish slang, a subject that could fill many a BOOJUM! were we to hare off at a tangent, meaning 'Foolish or nonsensical language'. It comes from the Old Norse "Blathr" meaning "Nonsense". You can tell life in the Old Norse lands was incredibly harsh, because they emigrated to Scotland and brought their language with them. Conrad himself, as he never tires of telling, is 1/16th Norwegian, which is probably where his height comes from. Art!
Behold the mighty, sinister, quite illegal and undeniably deadly 'Thunderbolt' missile, as portrayed in the BBC's premier dramamentary "Doctor Who". Hmmm Blogger doesn't want to paint it fuschia. We'll continue.
You may have guessed where we're going with today's title and Intro, and you'd be right.
The "D" stands for "Deathfromabove". Perhaps.
Yes, the British had the Hurricane, the Typhoon (twice), the Tempest, the Whirlwind and Tornado, yet nothing dubbed 'Thunder'. Yes yes yes, they did have what was essentially a re-usable manned missile, the 'Lightning', which presages thunder except not in the RAF, Art!
One engine wasn't deemed powerful enough, so they added another one on top of it, whilst still trying to find room for a cockpit and pilot. The model you see above with over-wing fuel tanks to extend range could only (!) do 1,000 m.p.h. and when they took off you really experienced the delicate sound of thunder.
ANYWAY let us get back on track. Art!
Conrad is not overly fond of ACDC and hasn't thus bothered to listen to their back catalogue, but this track is an exception. Go dial it up on Youtube and tell me it didn't get the blood pumping in your veins. Unless you have a fusion-powered pumping unit instead of a heart, that's a good enough excuse. Art!
Probably the most amusing thing about this film is the cameo by Tom Cruise, who is almost unrecognisable in unflattering facial prosthetics and makeup. Props to the guy for portraying a bottomhole he probably encountered in real life early on in his career. Do you know, Conrad has forgotten almost everything about this film, and I think it's lurking in that box of DVDs lying untidily in the Sekrit Layr. We may get back to you on this. Art!
Why do I bring this up? Because it featured a strip that was by far the best thing in the whole comic - "Black Max". Art!
The Teuton character of Baron Maximillien Von Klor, you see, has bred a species of gigantic vampire bats that he can control telepathically, all the better to take the war in the skies to the Royal Flying Corps, which was the RAF before it was the RAF. Conrad distinctly remembers one episode featuring an autogyro, before James Bond made them cool and groovy.
Okay, I think that's enough about the weather. Next!
You What?
You know Conrad, as opportunistic as ever in the pursuit of blog content, especially if he can quote an item and up the word count with no creativity expended. Art!
My question is, whatever happened to Lil Nas I to IX? Enquiring minds want to know. Well, they probably don't, but it reads well.
"The War Illustrated Edition 188"
I'll have you know that I'm copying these titles and changing their colour in Word before pasting them back into Blogger, that's how dedicated I am. Art!
Not in the first picture they're not. What you see instead is a long column of Sherman tanks waiting to advance, with a large engineering vehicle standing by, possibly to remove any tank that breaks down, and prevent a traffic clog from evolving.
At lower port you can see British (or Commonwealth) infantry crouching low as a Sherman 'Crab' flail tank clears the road of mines ahead. Note that they are staying a considerable distance behind said tank, as anti-tank or anti-personnel mines going off will scatter a lot of shrapnel.
At lower starboard you can witness one of the Allies' life-saving adaptations: the 'Kangaroo'. This was a self-propelled gun with the gun removed and any gap in the front armour plated over. Later on I believe they were adapted from tanks, with the turret being removed. Art!
They might lack overhead cover but advancing to contact in what it essentially a tank provides an awful lot more protection than a truck or even a half-track, and the Kangaroo was so successful there were never enough of them.
In real life the infantry would be ensconced at the bottom of the hull, not sitting on top of it making nice juicy targets.
"City In The Sky"
Proper Planning Prevents Panicky Poor Performance, as our two riot grrrls are finding out.
Both were sweating now. Kirwin tried to stay calm, recalling
with ease the different steps to take with the Mk 57 SLD Missile System as per
manual; Ace tried not to let her sweating palms slip on the missile or the
launcher, turned the warhead the wrong way, then realised and slid it into
position with a solid click.
‘There’s
a control pad on the side, turn it on by pressing the big green
button. Turn the dial to “Live”.’
Ace
pressed the big green button, then tried turning the dial, which stubbornly
refused to move at all and in fact sounded as if it would break if she tried
any harder.
‘It
won’t turn!’ she hissed.
‘The
big green button – keep it pressed until the display comes on!’ snapped Kirwin,
dialling back on the binocular gain hastily to keep the dancing blue-white
apparition in her sight. An “Ah!” of relief sounded behind her.
‘Hold
the launcher up against your shoulder and look into the sighting unit.’
Ace
did. Nothing. Blank grey screen.
‘I’m
not getting anything,’ she called, wondering if she’d missed an obvious step.
‘Are
you gripping the firing handle and forestock?’ asked Kirwin, using one hand to
brush sandy, gritty sweat from her brow. The flying eye now wobbled
towards her, no more than a kilometre away, it’s movements exaggerated by
proximity. With a nasty shock she realised that this was real-time
display without any magnification, the thing was that close.
Oooo-errr Matron!
Conrad Licked His Chops
Only in metaphor, I'm not a slobbering delinquent in real-life. What I mean is that the ballfoot season appears to be over, as Manchester In The City have won another trophy, which has predictably brought the haters out of the woodwork. Great! The more the merrier! All slander and libel gratefully read and enjoyed, because Conrad has no dog in this fight. Art!
So what
19:44 19 May
It's amazing what you can do with £2bn!
albertdodah
19:46 19 May
I think the hidden message here is that the ballfoot team 'Chelsea' have spent an equivalent amount, yet have been relatively unsuccessful.
There are over 3,000 Comments on this Have Your Say, it may take me a while to read them all.
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