The Americans Are Revolting!

Please Note My Use Of The Definite Article There

I mean the word "The" and dare not use a phrase including "The the" because that will automatically generate - O no too late -

     Okay, today's Intro was inspired by a question and reply on Quora, to wit: "

How do they teach the American Revolution in the U.K.?

"

      The Quoran answering explained that he'd been asked that question by a South Canadian National Parks ranger, whilst on a trip to Concord.  Peter - the Brit in question - explained at length about what he'd studied during his GCSE History in the UK.  It encompassed the years 1870 to 1945, with forays into previous eras including the Spanish Armada, the Roman presence in Britain and local history as it pertained to the Industrial Revolution around Greater Manchester.  Art!

Manchester - greater than Birmingham!
(Though it's not a high bar)

     In fact the despondent Park Ranger's face got so long that Pete cut his explanation short, which we, being cruel, capricious and creative, are NOT going to do.  The South Canadians, you see, being somewhat Amerocentric, believe that the world revolves around them, and it can be a bit deflating to discover otherwise.  Art!

     Conrad, being a curious chap, did wonder why the curriculum began in 1870, and immediately decided that it was because this allows the inclusion of the Franco-Prussian War of 1870 - 1871.  In reality the academics undoubtedly considered a lot of other factors, but this one sits well with me.

     You may not have heard of this conflict, especially if you reside in South Canada, but it cast a mighty long shadow over Europe for generations.  If you want the TLDR version, the Prussians won and this victory acted as the glue to homogenize modern Germany into existence from the prior constellation of kingdoms.  

     The slightly longer version is that the French, with an army deemed the best in Europe and thus the world, were revealed as clumsy and chaotic in planning, deployment and operations.  Their artillery was totally outclassed by that of the Prussians.  However - that word again! - their infantry consistently outshot the Prussians, and they had the mitrailleuse as well, a hand-cranked machine-gun that the Prussians grew to dread and respect.     

     That picture above shows the French infantry counter-attacking a Prussian formation that had captured a town - evidence that their higher echelons may have been plonkers but that your average French poilu had guts a-plenty.  Art!

     Bismark, the Teuton statesman, rather rashly insisted that Germany purloin both Alsace and Lorraine from France, which permanently poisoned relations between the two and ensured France and the French were thirsting for revenge.  Which leads to the following -

     Of course, a date range from 1870 to 1945 allows both Unpleasantnesses to be included in one's studies, and either of theses offers an opportunity to learn libraries-worth of information.  The South Canadians are frequently blamed by Europeans for turning up late to both events, rather unfairly in Your Humble Scribe's opinion.  Art!

Yanks, 1918 vintage

     Within a year of declaring war in April 1917, they were arriving in France, to the eventual tune of 1,250,000 troops.  This completely redressed the balance of the Ruffians being knocked out of the war, and South Canada, protected by the Atlantic Ocean, feared no Teuton attack on their home shores.   The Teuton High Seas Fleet had been hiding in harbour after the battle of Jutland, when it only had the Royal Navy to contend with.  Imagine the odds against it if the South Canadian's very large navy had gotten involved - Art!

     Whom, with this subject matter to choose from, would go back 250 years to an event that affected solely the South Canadians?

     Don't forget, that date range also means one can study the Russo-Turkish War, which again is one I bet you've never heard of.  O, not to mention the First and Second Balkan Wars.  Then, too, you have the Civil War.  Art!

     To an European, when 'Civil War' is in the title, it's either the Spanish Civil War or the Yugoslavian one, both horrid bloodlettings that still echo.  We in This Sceptred Isle have gotten over ours, more or less, after three hundred and seventy years.

     I could go on but am feeling merciful -

"Chernobyl Diaries"

Conrad watched this last night and was as underwhelmed as he expected, an experience only made bearable by a large dose of Old Speckled Hen.

     Firstly, the title is an utter con: there is no diary, let alone multiple diaries.

     Secondly, it's mostly set in Pripyat, not Chernobyl.

     Thirdly, it had a $1,000.0000 budget and made $37,000,000.  Art!

     Remarkably, from what I can see, there hasn't been a sequel.  One can understand it not being made after Mordor mounted an invasion, but there were 10 years between the film being made and the war starting.  Normally studios fall on a money-maker like this with both hands a-grabbing.

     If I were to illustrate the Stupid Plot Points and Stupid People Being Stupid we'd be here all day, so I may continue to itemise this later on - during daylight hours there's too much screen reflection.  Art!

Unlucky number seven

     Conrad cannot complain too excessively, it only cost £1.

What On Earth?

More mystery MacGuffins from the pages of "The Daily Beast".  Art!

     I could leave you in suspense as to what this really is, except I'm curious to know myself.  It looks like two pieces of rock or tree-bark encased in glass or clear resin.  Let me cheat and click on the link.

     Bird sweat!  Art?

     Over six grand and you need to wait four months to get it?  Nor is it glass, it's a clear resin.  Conrad will just use a chair, thanks very much.  £10 from Ikea.

"City In The Sky"

Dart Three, loaded with tons of 'lunarkrete' to bulk up the mass, has rendered the Lithoi's missile platform unto ash and vapour.

     Orskan 94 wasn’t very analytical.  He wasn’t paid or expected to be, after all; he was just a jobbing middle-caste spanner wielder.  Still, he couldn’t shake off the feeling that this contract had every possibility of turning into a nightmare.

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE: Always Unknowing

      Check, said the Doctor to himself.

     His attendant audience had been poised in breathless anticipation during Dart Three’s descent, every moment expecting the inbound shuttle to be detected and destroyed.  When the screen display changed from blurred shots of desert with a tracery of tracks, to alternating lines of static, an involuntary chorus of cheers went up.

     Later, sitting outside and sipping a cup of chilled mate, he found the big American pilot, Oswald, coming to sit down with him.

     ‘Don’t mind, do you?’ asked the other man.  He pulled up a wicker chair that creaked alarmingly under his bulk and studied the small man drinking tea.  The Veep’s orders were clear: if Doctor John Smith asked for anything, he got it, instantly, no questions asked.  This little guy was some kind of scientific genius, Einstein, Newton and Hawking in one package.  Having seen the impossible piloting of Dart Three, Oswald began to realise just why the Veep wanted Doctor Smith looked after.

     Except he didn’t seem very enthusiastic about smacking the alien's base around.

     Yes, that's the consequences of having a moral code.

We've Been Here Before

Conrad used an image of a projected interstellar probe under the title "Project Icarus" to illustrate an item dealing with Greek mythology.

     That was a bit of an 'in' to what seems to be design projects for other interstellar exploration probes, such as this below.  Art!

     This monster appears to use the old 'Project Daedalus' design as a basis for a much, much larger vehicle, incorporating multiple extra stages as described in the diagram.  Let us just bring up a photo of the PD spacecraft.  Art!

With puny Apollo for scale

     This would accord with - Art!

     - this part of 'Leviathan'.  These people are nothing if not ambitious!  Only the lord aloft knows how long it would take to construct this beast, not to mention the not inconsequential matter of cost.

     Proxima Centauri here we maybe coming.

Finally -

Took Edna for a trot this morning, on the premise that it's better to do it before the day gets really hot and all the other dogwalkers come a-flocking.  Well, that's jinxed it as we now have ten-tenths cloud cover and every expectation of rain.