Jumping Jack Flash It's A

Reference To The Cyborg Zombies

At least the Beatles had the good grace to split up fifty years ago, whereas the You Know Whos are going to keep on going until their parts wear out and they involunatarily dis-assemble.  

     Nor is this Intro anything to do with that film.

     No, neither of them are getting a picture credit.  Art!

     Yes, that kind of gas.  Conrad has a set of A5 notes running to 26 pages annotated from this work, without an index, which at the moment would be useful.  You see, the orcs have recently resorted to using chloropicrin gas against the Ukrainians, possibly to see what kind of squawk it provokes, in case they want to escalate things.

     CP, as we shall call it, is a lachrymatory and sternutatory agent, in that it affects the lungs and eyes, and causes vomiting.  Nasty stuff indeed, were you to get a whiff of it, but it's not lethal - hence the orcs seeing if this first step draws a sharp response.  Art!

     Yes, there is scads of data about it, thanks to it's use in the First Unpleasantness.  Teuton gas masks and anti-gas gear of the time was of quite shoddy quality, as the prospect of getting done unto didn't seem to occur to them.  One can expect that the orc's gas gear is equally shoddy, so starting what someone else may finish is not the smartest of moves.  Persistent agents like mustard gas or SK favour the defence as they slow things down considerably.

     ANYWAY that was merely as aside, because what Conrad is going to take aim at now is - Art!

Gazprom

     This is the Mordor Ministry for Fire and Brimstone, in case you were wondering, which had a monopoly on gas supplies.  It also posted the enormous losses it suffered in 2023 - ₽629 billion.  This is a drop of 30% from 2022, itself not a good year.  Revenue for '22 was ₽8.4 trillion, and for '23 it had fallen by half, to ₽4.1 trillion.  Gazprom's share price has fallen by over 9% and seems set to keep falling.  Russian pundits, wearing rose-tinted spectacles and probably with the FSB looming over them in the background, had expected the company to turn a small profit.  Sorry, nope.  Art!

     Before Peter The Average launched his Special Idiotic Operation, Gazprom supplied 40% of European gas needs as of 2021.  This has now been cut to just 8%, and only 5% of the absent 32% has been recouped elsewhere.  Yes yes yes, Putinpot did  bloviate about 'pivoting and selling to India and China', except India doesn't buy Ruffian gas at all.  China does, but only 22 billion m³, which is pretty inadequate compared to the old Ruffian export total of 230 billion m³.  The proposed "Spirit Of Siberia 2" gas pipeline would take years to construct, cost billions to build and China's not interested in funding any of it.  Art!

     Ukrainian sanctions are more directly effective than Western ones, too.  The "Financial Times" points out that Gazprom's operating costs and capital expenditure increased in '23, doubtless due to their Western-designed, constructed and run industrial plant running out of spare parts and suffering increased breakdowns.  Let's up the word count with a quote: 

"The loss of revenues from Europe is an unfixable problem without going back into Europe,” said Craig Kennedy, a Harvard-affiliated scholar and former vice-chair at Bank of America. “It was cross-subsidising the rest of the business and they are finally being forced to show this in their accounts.”

     Put that in your pipeline and smoke it!

     So, far from being a generator of huge profits, Gazzy is now having to borrow money to cover their losses, since the Kremlin is going to avoid putting up the price of petrol, because that would be embarrassing and the orcs would likely protest and bleat a bit.

     Don't worry, folks, Bunker Grandad says it's all going according to plan.

Sinking Lego Ships

Once again demonstrating, with hilarious irony, the fact that some people have entirely too much time on their hands.  Art!

     As I'm sure you've noticed, the ships keep getting bigger and harder to sink, so 'Brick Technology' has to keep upping his game to sink, swamp or capsize them.  The boat above was too large and stable for the Wave Machine to affect, so of course - obviously! - he resorted to - Art!

This was more a proof of concept, as once he'd got it set up properly, BT deemed it too small.  Art!

     This is the much beefier version, with the winch and release mechanism being remotely controlled.  Art!

     On wheels to make adjusting for range easier.  First attempt - not a success.  Art!

     Third time's the charm, direct hit.  Art!

     - and it turns turtle, job's a good un.

     What the heck, every man needs a hobby.

"The War Illustrated Edition 187"

Here we see an item the Teutons liked even less than Allied aircraft: British artillery.  Artillery wasn't affected by low cloud or bad weather, as aircraft were; it could hit you at any time of day or night, and it could keep up a bombardment for hours.  Art!

     At top port you can see an ingeniously constructed Forward Observation Post, from where Royal Artillery spotters can keep the Teutons in their fond gaze.  To starboard is a "Five-five" as the 5.5" gun was known, firing at night.  There are at least 40 shells waiting to be fired, meaning even if they are the lighter, longer-ranged 80 pound version and not the 100 pound shell, there's a ton and a half of HE being dropped on the enemy.

     In mid-page is the humble 25-pounder, being sluiced down with water to cool off the barrel, obviously after a long session of making enemy lives miserable.

At bottom you have the mighty 155 m.m. gun, a South Canadian import nicknamed "Long Tom", and this did fire a 100 pound shell, out to 15 miles.

£45?  Is It A Rolls-Royce?

That's how much the Uber from Manchester Airport would cost, so Your Humble Scribe is going to be looking to park here - Art!

     Terminal 3 Short-Stay car park.  No, you can't just pick a passenger up at Man Fly Place, as they look to gouge you whenever and wherever possible; if they could charge you for breathing the air, they would <mutters darkly>.  ANYWAY it won't cost £45 and will be my good deed for the day.  Those travellers better have a rich reward for two weeks of Designated Dogsitting.

"City In The Sky"

Things are afoot, and shortly to be a-float.

     ‘I say, can you spare me one or two of those sachets?’ he directed at one of the crew, a crewmember who wore a spacesuit stippled with badges of rank, seniority and OSWALD on both breastplate and shoulders.  The American turned round from inspecting a transport-trolly, casting about until picking out the Doctor in his suit headlights.

     ‘Who d’you think you are!’ snapped the American, their annoyed twang coming across especially well on the radio link.  ‘The Snargroid of Trexlox?’

     ‘The Snargroid is a lot less problematical since his kingdom became a constitutional monarchy.  All I want are blivets to the mass of fifty metric tonnes, which I personally will haul to Dart Three.  Deal?’

     It was impossible to see the American’s face through the one-way visor.

     ‘Who the hell are you to ask!’ snapped their voice over the link.

     ‘Doctor John Smith,’ declared the Doctor, mock-meekly, waiting for the consequences.  The huge space-suited American turned to face other similarly-suited astronauts, which meant they were checking on his credentials and lineage.  An inaudible conversation occured for perhaps twenty seconds.

     Abruptly the space-suit whirled back round on one heel, a manoeuevre that risked losing contact with the hull.

     ‘Sir!’ barked the American, all trace of reluctance gone.  ‘Why didn’t you state who you were first!  Amersham, Condretti, Malbeuge – separate off fifty blivets for the Doctor, carry off to Dart Three, action immediate.’

     And perhaps also a-flat, if that's a word.

Finally -

I need to go take a picture of the car's registration.  Absent minded old Conrad can only recall the first two letters, which isn't batting a hundred.  Laterz!