Or, Nasty Numbers For The Dumbers
Conrad, as we should all know by now, is a bit of a dinosaur when it comes to technology. He still doesn't trust mobile phones, or the "Devil's Digital Devices" as their alternate title, because they allow people you don't want to know to pester you. Yes, D & G, I'm looking at you. Your Humble Scribe sat back with a smug smile when FTX turned out to be both a scam and a gamble. Art!
Bankman-Fried has been recalled to prison from his comfy home arrest, thanks to attempting to influence jurors and generally being a bottomhole. His parents, who put up their house as collateral for bail and with whom he was living, must be heartily glad to see the back of him. I bet he raided the fridge all the time and never re-stocked it: "I can't go to the shops, I got an ankle-monitor, Mom!"
Conrad has also been mystified by the market for "NFT"s, also known as "Non-Fungible Tokens", which are heavily tied-up with cryptocurrency. The principle seems to be that you can buy a digital picture bodged up in 5 minutes by an artist, paying millions of specie for the privilege. They're 'fungible' meaning (I think) that you can't swap them around with other people owning NFTs.
Colour me unconvinced. Art!
Sold for $657,000,000. Possibly
There seemed to be an opening here for anyone who wanted to grift millions out of the credulous and gullible, and indeed it seems that the first people who took their pitcher to the well made millions. That was up to 2021, when you had eye-watering sums being paid for silly pictures. Art!
However - a word you knew was approaching with the inevitability of a Metro tram - things seem to have gone awry for the NFT marketplace. Other people who have far too much time on their hands have been investigating the NFT fad, and the news is bad. 'dappGambl' - who may be a person, a collective or a cluster of sinisterly proliferating software* - has done a thorough deep dive into this niche market, and looked at over 73,000 NFT collecitons. Surprise surprise, 69,795 of them have a net value of ZERO.
Ooops. Art!
As you can gather from the above, 2022 was, to put it mildly, not a good year for cryptocurrencies and associated gubbins - do stop me if I get too technical.
dappGambl calculated that 23 million people are now the proud owners of not-exactly-nifty NFT, that are essentially worthless. Nor is that all the bad news; NFTs are no longer seen as a hot ticket item and 80% of them have no buyers, no investors, no hope and no future. As an example of the last, they point an accusatory finger at Melania Trump, of all people, who somehow thought that flogging the iconic picture of Buzz Aldrin WHICH IS IN THE PUBLIC DOMAIN was a smart business move. It may have been back in 2021, dear. Not now. In the 60 days her - portfolio? - has been open, it has moved as many as 70 purchases. That totals a little over $5,200, which is a far cry from $50 million. Soz, Mel. Art!
Gaze upon Buzz for FREE!
Honestly, people have learned NOTHING from the Dutch Tulip Bubble of 1637.
Don't worry, we're not done with either Donald Buck or NFTs, there's more to come on those in an unholy combination. O yes rest assured Douglas Hurd.
Best By Dates - A Challenge Not A Warning!
You ought to know Conrad's attitude to the dates on various foodstuffs that indicate when they should be disposed of, in the interests of public health. Well, here's a couple of products that are perfectly fine. Art!
I've been eating them for the past few days with no ill effects. What can one say? They were safely wrapped up and out of direct sunlight, which means they ought to have been fine. Stilton cheese is smelly and mouldy yet people adore it, so don't point any accusatory fingers**.
"City In The Sky"
The Doctor is relishing a chance to show off his intellect, perception and deductive skills in front of a human audience.
‘Nonsense! A weapon that
indiscriminately wipes out whole continents?
May I point out that the Phage hit North, Central and South America, and
In best school-child style, a hand went up in the audience. The Doctor pointed the scavenger microphone.
‘Who would want to get rid of humans at the cost of creating lifeless
radioactive wastelands!’
Delighted at being asked this gambit, the Doctor rocked back on his
heels.
‘Ah, but I think your science teams have detected an atypical decline in
radiation in the northern hemisphere.’
He pursed his lips, thinking hard.
‘My guess is that you’re seeing an overall diminution in terms of
roentgens, less marked in built-up areas, with a small number of very, very
intensely irradiated areas, probably centred around deep-shaft mining operations.’
A guess from Galifrey's finest is as good as confirmed fact from most of us.
Conrad: Cheating At Codewords
I shamefacedly admit it. There were extenuating circumstances, I hasten to assure you. Not only was it a Codeword, it was one where the black squares hadn't been filled in. Art!
I simply couldn't see how to complete anything else beyond the black square 17, so I snuck a peek at the solution grid and saw that 2 was a black square as well.
Of course - obviously! - I only noticed the inherent clue after cheating. You have no chance whatsoever of finding it, so I shall point it out. Art!
Three squares with the number 28 against them. This immediately proved they couldn't be any word in English, so they had to be black squares. This was one of the most difficult Codewords I've come across.
Never One To Avoid Kicking A Bloke When He's Down -
As you may recall, Conrad was rubbing his hands and tweaking his moustache ends in imitation of a Victorian vaudeville villain, anticipating that the Ruffian ruble would drop to 100 to the dollar a couple of weekends ago.
Sadly, not so. Art!
Finally -
Conrad has an appointment at the Health Centre tomorrow morning, to discuss why he's not dropped dead yet thanks to lack of exercise and an excess of gin. I cannot take the car in case I get the drops-in-eye treatment with that wretched yellow Controlled Substance. Yes, apparently poverty-stricken Ruffian junkies inject it when they can't afford anything safer, like petrol or fuming nitric acid.
* Stolen from Bruce Sterling, heh heh.
** Conrad will buy it if it's reduced.
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