No! Is Not A Reference To The Robin Williams Film
Conrad thinks he has seen a bit of it, and was hugely unimpressed, so much so that he gave up on it, and that's that. I think it involved an infinitely mutable landscape that was written into the script because the studios knew what they could get with CGI way back then. Art!
No, what I refer to is the dreams that Your Humble Scribe experienced recently, and the 'Scum' describes quite accurately the disgustrously-debrised landscape of his mind. Buckle up, and prepare for a new concept of daft. Art!
We begin in the corridors of an Art Deco hotel, with Conrad carefully inspecting the bas-reliefs of modern Italian cruise-liners set high into the wall as decorations. When I say 'modern' I mean late-Thirties vibe, so quite what I was doing knocking around Il Duce's Fascist dictatorship is another mystery. Art!
Like this in 2D
Because Conrad is a perceptive chap, even in dreams, I observed to myself that there was hardly anyone around, so one imagines we were in the middle of the afternoon, when sensible Latins retire to take a nap and avoid the worst of the sun. Or, 'best of the sun' if you hail from the latitudes of This Sceptred Isle, because we have not been blessed with sunshine today at all.
ANYWAY an order comes over the hotel's Tannoy* system that everyone is to make their way to the top floor. Why? Who knows! Conrad suspects there is flooding due. A mass of people suddenly appears, so presumably there is an element of risk - possibly we are in Venice? - and all of us make our way to the top floor of the hotel, which is a vast dining hall, half full with the high and mighty scoffing away. Now you're talking. Art!
A flavour of this
We uninvited guests sit down at various unattended tables, and food is served. Conrad cannot remember any of the comestibles bar the very last thing, which was a multi-layered cake, the slices of which were at least two feet tall, and which he fell upon as the wolf on the fold. Diabetes be damned in dreams. Don't judge me. Art!
I think the servers called it a 'trifle', and there is actually a precedent for this, the Italian dessert known as 'Zuppa Inglese', which is an ironic Latin swipe at a typically soggy and aqueous English trifle. Art!
Zuppa Inglese
Apparently a dream trifle can defy the laws of physics, since that above cannot possibly be stacked in a slice two feet high. Although you could lay it sideways and have it two feet long.
Well, they say dreams are a combination of symbolism, playback of your day and wish-fulfillment, and there's no debating that Conrad wishes he could sit down and devour an entire cake two feet high and four feet in diameter, without collapsing in a coma afterwards. Art!
Now you're talking
We now return you to boring reality.
The Haul
Conrad hied himself hence to Gomorrah-in-the-Irwell this morning, fully intending to see that Yoyama installation at the Aviva Gallery, or Event Space, or whatever pseuds are calling it now.
However. I had gone in my Skechers, which, if Art will do the duty for -
They are very comfortable, but have absolutely NO TRACTION on a smooth surface in wet weather, such as the flagstones that proliferate across the whole city centre. So, not wishing to fall over and break something delicate and painful, I restricted myself to Travelling Man and Fopp. Yoyama next week in shoes. Art!
You can't tell thanks to distance, but the top four "Outcast" are written by Robert Kirkman, whom you might know as the creator of "The Walking Dead", which Conrad gave up on after 12 volumes as it was just too bleak and depressing. However, he is also the creator of "Invincible", which does have it's dark moments, but which is a hella entertaining space-opera/superhero cross. Now, Rob, I bought these sight unseen, so they'd better be good. Art!
"For All Mankind" is an alternate history where the space race hotted up early and never cooled off. Conrad has to confess that what sold him was a promo poster of South Canadian astronauts on the Moon's surface - toting M16s. Don't judge me.
The CD "Soft Landing" by Art School Girlfriend was playing on Fopp's PA** when I walked in, and it invoked the Two Very Good Tracks Rule - if I hear two very good tracks from an album, it get's bought. Currently playing as I type, definitely in the 'Dreampop' genre.
"BRZRKR" has a funny story attached to it. Conrad bought Volume One probably a couple of years ago and asked the clerk at Travelling Man if Volume Two was out, except I was convinced it was called "XTRMNTR", which baffled the poor lad, until he went and asked a more experienced member of staff. Ohow we laughed. Art!
The Primal Scream album
I'd Better Post This Refutation Of Senility
Quick smart. Art!
How fortunate that I took a providential photo of my 'Battleships' solution! Yes, it's 90º out of true, which doesn't really matter with Battleships, because I say so. This is proof that Conrad's not ready for one of those jackets that lace up the back. Yes, I could have cheated and looked at the solution, but I have an honest face.
O Dear. Anyway -
Just a brief update for you, and to rub salt and lemon juice in the cuts. The Ruffian ruble continues to slide and is now on some exchange sites at ₽98 to the dollar. The reasons are principally: costs of the Special Idiotic Operation have spiralled and now consume 1/3 of the entire budget; oil and gas revenue has halved; sanctions, which are loudly declaimed as not working and yet need to be lifted as soon as possible. Some cruel wag also posted this on Twitter. Art!
It's not looking good for Bloaty Gas Tout, is it?
"City In The Sky"
Ace hasn't been very successful in persuading her escort that she and the Doctor are travellers in time, which is only to be expected.
Nat stopped in mid-stride, looking at her
companion with suspicion and scorn.
‘You’re pulling my leg! Okay, okay, don’t bother if you don’t want to
tell me.’
Briefly, Ace felt like protesting, but
shrugged and carried on. The Tardis was
only a few hundred metres away now, with some curious crew hanging around it
and getting worryingly close. Fruit
trees bedded in hydroponic troughs obscured their final approach until Nat
called out to the people clustered around the familiar blue box.
‘Hey, get back from that!’
Ace recognised two of the people as those
she had encountered initially: that big, ruddy-faced man and the small,
narrow-hipped woman with long hair.
Other people stood and looked at the big blue box, muttering to themselves.
‘Nat, this thing isn’t what it looks
like,’ called the woman. She indicated
off to one side, where a stack of tools lay.
‘Yuri hit it with a shovel and didn’t even scratch it.’
Briefly, Ace felt a touch of what her
mentor experienced about offensive actions against his timeship: anger.
‘Did you plonkers try to damage the TARDIS!’
she shouted. ‘That’s our ride home!’
The woman looked at her with a wary eye.
O don't fret so, Ace, it's not as if they can really inflict any damage at all.
* Old-school PA
** New-school Tannoy
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