O To Be An Architect In Oz

No!  Nothing To Do With Sydney Opera House

Which, you cannot deny, is a striking and memorable building, even if critics dubbed it 'Clamshells in a typewriter', because they're bitter old hacks who don't get invited to parties any more.  I think that warrants a picture of this Australian institution.  Art!

A custom-build, not a kit

     No, the 'Oz' I am referring to here is, obviously - of course - the one created by Frank Baum, and most specifically The Emerald City.

     Conrad rather mistakenly assumed that the Mighty Oz would have interminable trouble dealing with criminals chiselling bits off his palace and the urban sprawl around it, which, if you stop to think about it, is unrealistic.  Art!

     How many thousands, or tens of thousands, of tons of emerald have gone into the construction of this celestial demesne?  Say at a rough guesstimate, ten thousand tons.  That's the equivalent of two millenia's production of emerald across the globe, meaning that it's value would instantly plummet, because as it ceases to become a very rare gemstone, so people have to pay less for it.

     That's only the beginning of Mighty Oz's troubles, mind you.  Emerald is high on the Mohs scale for hardness, at about 8.0, meaning it is difficult to work without having edged tools that score high on the Brinell index for hardness.  Any artisans working it would need PPE, because getting high-speed emerald fragments in your eyes is no fun.  Art!

     Note that the structures here appear to be single, very large pieces of emerald, in a single plane.  Except for the domed roofs.  How on earth do you make a hemisphere out of a brittle gemstone?  And how do those giant slabs of emerald butt together?  Are they so finely machined that they mate together without any need of a mortar to bind and fill in gaps?  If so you'd need to machine them at the microscopic level to get such an inordinately level surface.  As for a 'mortar' to bind and seal, good luck with that, you need an epoxy resin that I sincerely doubt Oz has managed to yet create, given that it's most advanced technology is a hot-air balloon.

     I know, I know, you're all saying 'Ah but - magic!'  This is the Get Out Of Jail Free card, because with a bit of hand-waving and magic, you can explain anything away O so easily.  Is magic going to secure the foundations against either settling, tree roots or heave?  Not to mention underground streams.  What about erosion of the external walls thanks to weather and dust?  Given the enormous size of the emerald construction members, will extremes of temperature cause stress and shear fractures?  As a matter of fact I just checked on that, and emerald is susceptible to fracture damage in extreme heat, since elevated temperatures cause existing flaws to increase.  Nor are you supposed to expose emerald to constant sunlight.  Art!

     That there is the largest ever emerald, weighing in at a whopping 1 kg.  You've got a long way to go, matey!

     Of course, I could be over-thinking this .....

Tannerite: The Darwin Award Dynamite

It's not actually dynamite, for your information.  Tannerite is a binary explosive, consisting of aluminium oxide powder and ammonium nitrate.  Yes, the ammonium nitrate that blew up the port of Beirut a couple of years ago.  Art!

     They come in separate containers that one mixes together, and are intended to be used as a long-range indicator for high-power shooting, as the mixture will explode DRAMATICALLY when hit.  Thus you know you've hit your target without having to walk half a mile there and back.

     The thing is, this stuff as sold in two constituent parts is NOT governed by rules and regulations about explosives, which means that all sorts of numpties who you wouldn't trust with a sparkler are able to get their sweaty quivering mitts upon it.  Usually to a detrimental conclusion.  Art!

     Here we see Mr. P., who loaded the lawnmower above with three pounds of Tannerite and proceeded to shoot at it - from far too close.  He lacked any protection below the chest, which was unfortunate, as when the lawnmower - carcass above - was hit, it disintegrated and the shrapnel took off his left leg below the knee.

     Not quite a Darwin Award, but getting pretty close.  One suspects that this stuff is going to get regulated before too many DAs are awarded.

I Say!

For reasons obscure to me, Your Humble Scribe has once again taken up writing duties on "The Annals Of Urquelomplangia", a rather daft satire set in a mythical Middle European country, the last in that continent to still practice magic.  The story concerns Markus, a humble - indeed lowly - provincial wizard, who is accidentally elevated to the position of The Royal Mage, and is thus thrust into the daily politics and intrigue of a life at court.  Art!

     All Markus wanted to do was be left alone to brew mead and breed finches.  Alas, 'twas not to be.  He's already had to deal with demons, Golems and imposter finches.  What next awaits?

Did You Know?

That in the card game of bridge, there is a term known as 'B.A.M.' which stands for 'Berate All Monsters' for 'Board-A-Match', a term Conrad knows nothing about and cares less to look up.

     It is appropriate for another circumstance, though.  Art!

"City In The Sky"

Art is learning that life aboard an orbital arcology is very different from that back on the surface of terra firma.

     ‘Hardly.  This isn’t Earth and people need to keep muscle tone and mass or they’ll probably die when we go back Downstairs.’

     The mixture of duties seemed puzzling to the young woman.  She changed the subject.

     ‘When do you go back?’

     Veronika sighed, swapping the towel on her left shoulder to her right shoulder.

     ‘When everything’s calmed down.  Less than twenty years, I hope, so I can still find my relatives – if they’re alive.’

     ‘Where do they live?’

     ‘Lord, you do like to ask questions!  In Berlin.’

     Nat returned from behind the plastic curtain.

     ‘Come on, before Nika puts you on a training regime.’

 Despite her apprehension, the Wardens actually seemed a pretty decent bunch, more used to interpreting and applying the provisions of the Charter that every person on the sphere had signed, than breaking up fights or arresting people.  Fights did happen, rarely, since a Warden was never more than ten minutes from wherever it occurred.  Then, too, Arc One didn’t have alcohol.  The twenty-first century used a substance called “prosohol” that mimicked alcohol’s effects without the nastier side-effects.  No Friday night brawls or hangovers.  Anyone who did end up violating the Charter got the worst tasks – mucking out cattle-pens or servicing  sewage and waste systems.

     That answers the old question about who, in a society of equals, cleans out the sewers.

Finally -

FTX - the gift that keeps on giving!  Much as Darth Marmalade does.

     You may remember Sam Bankman-Fried, the criminal who was behind the FTX crypto-currency scamble, and who managed to get bail in order to stay at his parent's house and out of jail.  Given that he'd previously been confined to a real rathole gaol in the Caribbean, he probably thought this was the best possible outcome, bar being set free with no charges. Art!

     Just as Agent Orange cannot keep his flapping piehole shut, so too SBF cannot avoid trying to access the internet via a VPN, or trying to intimidate witnesses in his forthcoming trial.  

     So, he's going back to jail.  Other parties please take note!