Ha! Sometimes I Amuse Even Myself
Okay, that lack of spacing and use of upper case is entirely deliberate, because of course - obviously! - some folks with read it as 'The Superbowl', which entity is apparently not an item of porcelain bathroom furniture but a sporting event, at which point Conrad tunes out. No, you should be reading it as "The Superb Owl", because why not? Art!
Yes, that's Nite Owl from "Watchmen", or the second iteration of same. His schtick was - well, apart from being a parody of Batman - everything had to be owl-themed. Pretty obviously his costume, and specifically his hovership 'Ozzie' - Art!
Actually it's full name was 'Archimedes'. named after the owl in T.H. White's "The Once And Future King". There was even an exo-skeleton with an owl motif, which I can't find any pictures of and am too lazy to dig out my copy of 'Watchmen' to illustrate with.
Nite Owl Mark 2 hid the identify of one Dan Dreiberg, an independently wealthy bloke with a keen interest in ornithology. The original Nite Owl was one Hollis Mason, who had no technology at his disposal, merely a body honed by 4 hours daily of gymnastics and work-outs, and a pair of fists as hard as teak. Art!
Nite Owl 1 Screaming Skull 0
By daytime Mason was a law-abiding citizen, as well as being a policeman, and by night a vigilante able to take on what the police couldn't.
Inevitably, having mentioned TSITS, I now have to provide an image of Archimedes, so let me gently awaken Art with this cattle-prod -
Grumpy, anthropomorphic and not very superb
I last read TSITS a good forty years ago and have absolutely no recollection of Archimedes, so we shall move swiftly along. Art!
Courtesy 'The Chron'
This is Oldham town centre, and a good few years ago since TJ Hughes has been ash and clinker for ages. Yes, those are owls atop their plinths, because the owl is the official emblem of Oldham. Don't worry, they are purely ceremonial, nobody gets sacrificed in front of them on Lammas Eve that we know of. Art!
Conrad is also minded that the owl was the official symbol of ancient Athens, which pomp and majesty we will undercut by instead referring to the mechanical owl in 'Clash Of The Titans'. Art!
It was not beyond the skill of ancient craftsmen to make a replica like this, but they couldn't make it fly and certainly couldn't have it replicate conscious thought, so we'll just put that down to magic.
I think we've squeezed as much as we can from that - sorry, what? No. We're not going down any Harry Potter-related nonsense. Conrad has standards. Low ones, perhaps, yet they are there. O! I just remembered another superb owl.
I do love a story with a happy ending. Plus, that'll up the word count handily.
O Frabjous Day!
I just discovered that the BBC have enabled Comments on an article about the ballfoot game, as New Castle You Nighted are playing The Manchester United - something like that, I can't be bothered reading the article - in a game due to be played today.
Conrad doesn't know what the occasion is and cares less, I just enjoy reading the Comments.
There you go, we're all better-educated than we were five minutes ago. There isn't the rancour and bitter enmity in this set of Comments, in fact people are being very sporting, which is worthy if dull.
"The Sea Of Sand"
I had a bit of an Ooops moment yesteryon when trying to copy over the latest installment, as I'd unplugged the drive that the Word document was on. Cue Word going into freak-out mode until I rebooted the external drive. O well.
As you should surely recall, the Doctor and Sarah are in rather hot water with their British compatriots, being under suspicion of sabotage and treachery.
Grumpily, Sarah thrust her hands
into her pockets, feeling change from her linen trousers clink about.
‘Oh,
great, Doctor. Now not only are we
German spies, we’re insane German
spies – oh – hang on a minute.’
She held
out a handful of change to Roger, who squinted suspiciously at the coins.
‘Go
on – take a look at those. Go on, they
won’t bite!’
Slowly,
Roger took one of the coins, shaking his head in resigned dismissal. The look on his face changed to one of
consternation.
“Elizabeth
II. Ninenteen Eighty One!’ he
exclaimed. He looked at other
coins. “Fifty Pence piece, Silver
Jubilee. Nineteen Seventy Seven! What the hell are these?’
‘Acceptable
coins of the realm,’ said the Doctor, calmly.
‘She’s
a Princess, not the Queen,’ added Tam, confused. ‘Princess Elizabeth.’
‘Crowned
in 1952,’ the Doctor said in an aside.
‘You’re
barmy,’ added Davey. His voice lacked
surety.
‘Who
wins the next Cup Final?’ asked Tam aggressively.
With
a look of icy superiority, the Doctor looked down his patrician nose and
dismissed the question.
‘I
don’t follow – football.’
‘Never
mind that, who wins this damn war?’ asked Roger, with feeling.
‘Oh,
the Allies do,’ said the Doctor airily.
Roger leaned closer, wanting more detail. Sighing, the Doctor carried on. ‘In less than three months the German Army,
with contingents from Rumania, Italy and Hungary, will invade the Soviet
Union. Before the year is out the United
States will be fighting the Germans and Japanese.’
I know what you're thinking: this is messing with the future, because you shouldn't tell people about it. Ah, yes, but that presumes they survive ...
A Metaphor
A set of new postage stamps going on sale might not seem like much, but this set is a tad different. Art!
Yes, they're Ukrainian. I wonder what would happen if someone sent a postcard to the Kremlin with one of these used for postage?
Because Dimya Is Crying
Let us sugar the medicine somewhat, because it ill behooves one to confuse a country with a people. You may not know it, but P.G. Wodehouse was immensely popular in the Sinister Union, as was Sherlock Holmes, whose short stories I am reading at present. Art!
"The Advebtures of Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson"
This was an incredibly well-done adaptation that remained utterly faithful to Conan Doyle's original work, and is widely regarded as the best ever version of Sherlock to ever grace the screen. There, I bet that surprised you.
Finally -
Domestic duties demand. Your Humble Scribe needs to go scrape bristles. Cheerio!
