Seconds Out!

Yes, We Continue With The Septic Epic

As you should surely know, we began this saga yesteryon, where Entitled Sister threw a party with alcohol for a whole bunch of underaged friends, and got arrested for it.  She then lied and tried to pin the blame on Original Poster, and Mother Dearest pressed him to - er- 'take the rap', because otherwise her golden child's future would be affected.  OP refused, to MD's shrieking displeasure.  Art!

Hmmm okay no Tazer this time

     MD paid most of the fine, whilst dad paid for the lawyer, who was an expensive (but effective!) shark.  Six years later, after moving across South Canada, ES came across the story on Reddit.

     Ooops.

     Of course she then gets back in touch with OP and orders him to take the story down, which he refuses.  She then threatens to sue for defamation, which OP points out is unwise, because the thread on Reddit was anonymous and taking legal action will immediately put names to persons.  ES ended up boasting about how well she was doing in her office job.  Art!

     OP is not remotely impressed, which is communicated to ES directly.  Being a bottomhole she demands to know why OP isn't fawning at her feet, and OP explains that he's now running one of dad's businesses, and will take over the lot once dad pops his clogs.  This angers ES so much she hangs up in rage, and then calls her parents.  They both confirm that she's been essentially written out of both their wills, with a rider that if she contests either of them, she gets 0%.

     Oooops.

     ES ends up snivelling that it's all - excuse me - It's All So Unfair.  The parent's riposte is that trying to frame OP was unfair, ghosting them after spending a large fortune on her trial and fine and four years of college was unfair, and neither of them wanted anything to do with her any more.  ES's revenge was to block all three on phone and social media, which was more a blessing than a curse, and now they neither know nor care what she's up to.  Art!

     Rather incredibly, MD gave a long and sincere apology to OP, after finally realising how she'd been a bad mother to both children, then went to therapy and reconciled with dad.  So a happy ending for them!

     OP ended their epic story by warning ES, as he's certain she will check out the Reddit narrative, never to contact them again.  The story has been up for over two months with no new updates, so ES seems to have kept her flapping piehole shut.  You can bet she'll come crawling out of the woodwork looking for money when one of the parents dies, mind.  One wonders how she'll find out as she is several states over from the rest of the family, and all her friends cut her off after getting arrested, and nobody in her hometown is bothered about her existence.

     O well.

    

Lies, Damn Lies And (Ruffian) Statistics

With acknowledgements to Youtube vlogger Joe Blogs, who has been covering the economic consequences of Peter The Average's war in Ukraine.  Here is part of a chart published by the Ruffian Ministry Of Finance - 

     In other words, from the horse's mouth, not an interpolation or extrapolation by Western economists.  The figures are in trillions of rubles, and FYI 1£ = 90R.  It's immediately obvious that Security and Defence in 2023 take up a third of the total.  What the chart doesn't show is that January of 2023 took up 10.6% of the whole of 2023's planned budget, meaning that if this figure is the trend, Ruffia will go into deficit by the beginning of October and end the year with a 32% budget deficit, say about 10,000,000,000,000R.

     Ooops.

     That's not the worst part, either.  The Ruffian Ministry Of Finance calculated these figures based on a barrel of Urals crude oil selling at $75.  It's actually selling at $55.  Plus Ruffian production is being cut by 180 million barrels for 2023.  

     Ooops again!

"The Sea Of Sand"

When we left off, a couple of higher-caste bio-vores were worrying about things no longer going right for them.

Fosor would have been further alarmed by events later that day on the littoral.  Five Warriors were assigned to track down and Eviscerate any lone Farmers, any found wandering about without enough licence or permission, any deemed not to be working hard enough.  They began from the barracks at the fringe of the Trans-Mat complex, planning to work northwards along the shore.

          Pickings were not good.  The Farmers at first stood far out in the shallows, flecked with the algae, working away with nets and scoops.  There were solo workers, yes, but none of the Warriors deemed it dignified to wade out into the waters.

          Occasional groups of Farmers trudged to and from the depths, bottling their harvested sea greens.  None came singly.

          Finally the Warrior group got fed up and picked on a group of three Farmers walking back into the shallows.  With the traditional accusatory shout of “Transgressors!” the Warriors charged their prey.

          Who fought back.

          Stunned incomprehension at this unparalleled display of resistance cost the life of one Warrior, beaten to death with the solid end of a net-pole.  When the short, brutal fight was over the Farmers had been Eviscerated, but another Warrior suffered near-fatal injuries.  His surviving comrades duly Eviscerated him, before he could protest or petition that he ought to live.

          Worried that they might be Eviscerated themselves if the details of the botched ambush got out, the three Warriors didn’t make out a report of what had happened.

     The cracks are beginning to show.

BOOJUM! Reviews Films

We've not done this for a while, so let me brief you.  The blog reviews are based solely on the title, perhaps with a nod to the bus poster it was advertised on, and generalise wildly.  If you want a proper review there are people out there who make an effort, because we most certainly don't.

"PLANE":  Ho hum, who on earth thought that a film about woodworking tools was a good idea?  Must be a bit of a tool themselves.  Unless - no.  Could it be?  A film about geometry, since that uses lots of guff about 'planes', doesnt it?  Dog Buns, how could you make a film more boring than woodwork tools!  Art?

"Carpentry to the max!"

"SCREAM": Yes, that was my reaction to seeing this title, too.  Is this franchise still going?  If so, that means enough of you out there went to see the last one, which MAKES ME VERY CROSS.  Honestly, as if a knife-wielding killer would get anywhere in South Canada, which has something like fifteen guns for every person.  Or maybe it was fifty.  However, "Har har, I'm going to stab you to death BANG BANG  BANG" would be a very short film.  Art!

"PUSS IN BOOTS":  If this was made in South Canada then I strongly urge the SPCA to get involved, because forcing a cat to wear boots is one thing, but getting it to walk upright on it's hind legs is quite another.  Jolly poor show, Hollywood!  Art?

This is acceptable

Finally -

Wouldn't you know it, the rains have stopped after I took Edna for a trot earlier, and we both got damp.  I'd better go see if my coat has dried off yet; it got hung over a chair thanks to being damp.  Why, it was so wet I wore shoes instead of my Crocs!  Plus Edna got a towelling, which she treats as a war crime.