My Sweet Starlord

Ha!  Sue Me If You Can, George Harrison

Because we are NOT talking about the Marvel character, the alter-ego of Peter Quill, who has quite enough of a conventional ego thanks very much.  Conrad did enjoy both 'Guardians Of The Galaxy' movies, mind, and mentioning them means I can bait people with a nice picture of same.  Art!

      Drax is, of course - obviously! - my favourite, since he is so literal-minded and The Green Gal is pretty h

     ANYWAY we can, once again, thank my subconscious for this Intro as I dreamed it up as of last night.  You see?  Conrad's brain - working even when asleep.

     You are doubtless familiar with '2000AD', the comic that burst onto the British comics scene in 1977, to the disapproval of adults everywhere.  Less well-known is the sister publication 'Starlord', which came into existence later that year.  Art!

     Conrad actually has three or four of these.  The idea was that this would be a cut above the gutter-chic of 2000AD, with better-quality paper, more colour pages, longer stories and more serious themes.

     Hmmmmm no.  They cut the colour and tried to keep stories quick and punchy.  It was more successful than 2000AD and outsold the sister publication, so it was quite a surprise when the print run was ended after 22 editions and it merged into 2000AD.  Art!

     This merger between comics is nothing new and eventually the merged title will fall off the front cover.  Another interesting fact is that the parent publication has to continue with a minimum number of stories from the merged comic, for a certain length of time.  This was no problem for 2000AD as Starlord had several very strong stories, which we will showcase here.  Art!

     Here you see Middenhead McNulty, Johnny Alpha and Wulf - who is one of the few 'Norms' working for -

     But I get ahead of myself.  The series was set after the Great Nuclear War of 2150, which kills off 70% of the UK's population, and where radioactive fallout has led to hundreds of thousands of mutants being born.  They are generally classed as fifth-rate citizens, live in ghettos and are treated like dirt's dirt.  Surprise!  The Mutant Army arises, waging armed rebellion, which young Johnny joins.  After a negotiated settlement the MA members are pardoned - providing that they leave Earth forever.  Art!

     Behold the HQ of the 'Search/Destroy Agency', usually abbreviated to 'S/D'.  This entity employs mutant bounty hunters to take on contracts deemed too risky for normal law enforcement, thus dubbing them 'Strontium Dogs' and their HQ the 'Doghouse'.

     It was quite a bleak series, with lots of violence, so of course kids loved it, also perhaps getting a grounding in how prejudice is bad.  The primary artist to draw it was the incomparable Carlos Ezquerra and when he died in 2018 the series ended.  Art!

     The other series that carried over was 'Ro-Busters', about a disaster team composed of - you're probably ahead of me here - robots.  Art!

     Meet Ro-Jaws and Hammerstein - and groan at the awful pun - the two principal characters.  Ro-Jaws is a sewer droid, and no, I've no idea why he's on a disaster team either, always ready with a cheeky quip.  Hammerstein, as you may guess from his general demeanour, was a military combat droid, always disapproving of his sewer-y companion.  Art!

     There was also the dreaded Mek-Quake, a demolition droid employed to destroy any droids that underperformed or broke down, a task in which he delighted.  The whole operation was owned and run by 'Mister Ten Per Cent', him being a brain in a robot body-cum-life-support-system.
     The series gradually morphed into the "A.B.C Warriors" which is another tale for a different kitchen.  Art!

Top Dave Gibbons cover

     So, yeah, Starlord, and thank you  dreamland.

Go On, Then

Let's finish off Lord Peter's crossword with the last clue and be done with it.  After that I may re-read the short stories, just to satisfy myself that I know whodunnit and how, and then it can take a stroll to the charity shops.  "Two thousand year ago and more, (Just as we do today), The Romans saw these distant lights, But oh! How hard the way! (5)."

     And the solution is: ASTRA

     Which is Latin <hack spit> for STARS.  Okay, fair enough - what makes the way so hard?  Acceptance of the heliocentric astronomical model and the speed of light as an absolute hard limit?  Art!

     Phew.  Thanks for sticking with me on this one, it was quite the chore but we all know what a completist I am.

"THE ENDLESS"

That's what it says in my notebook.  The Endless what?  Is it a band?  A song?  A film?  A novel?  A comic?

     Dog Buns! I hate it when I can't make heads or tails of what I've written.  There's still that mysterious acronym from years ago which never got deciphered.  Let me quickly Google -

     Hmmmmm well there is a film, described as a science fiction horror, which is probably why I made a note of it, sounds right up my street.  Art!

"The Sea Of Sand"

The Doctor has completed construction of his atomic bomb, which is quite capable of destroying the alien bio-vore complex at Makin Al-Jinneh.  The problem is, how to get it there.

Despite himself, the Doctor found a grin rising to his face.

          ‘Sarah, you have a way of putting things that cuts to the crux of the matter!  Yes.  If we want humanity and planet Earth to continue, the trans-mat must be destroyed.’

          Over a frugal breakfast of jam and toasted wad, he enlarged on that matter with the other survivors.  His first statement was heavy with import.

          ‘I have constructed a bomb that will destroy the bio-vore’s entire complex of buildings at the Makin Al-Jinni dig.’

          For several seconds congratulatory noises could be heard, until Albert asked the key question.

          ‘How do we get it there?’

          Sarah threw her arms wide.

          ‘Any suggestions welcome!  Come on, come on, you’re all old desert hands.  You must have suggestions.’

          ‘Our enemies have no conception of heavier-than-air flight.  An aircraft would stand a good chance of getting into the defended area,’ commented the Doctor, in both English and Italian.

          ‘No aeroplanes?’ asked Davey.  Tenente Dominione looked at his fellow Italians and shot a series of questions at them.

          ‘There are Italian aircraft on forward airfields near Bir El Daba.  Fighters and bombers.  Unfortunately it is a hundred kilometres away.’

          ‘I can fly, after a fashion,’ said Albert nonchalantly, dipping a stale wad into his tea.  ‘Learned in the University Air Squadron, after the Munich Crisis.’

     A 'wad', for your information, was a British army staple, being a kind of scone.

Conrad And Korean Cuisine Continue

Last night I had a go at Haemul Pajeon, savoury seafood pancakes, which came off pretty well especially as I got to use up a tin of anchovies, which taste rather like fish-flavoured salt if you are unwise enough to eat them solo.  Art!

     The idea is to slice them in two and dip in the 'Glaze', whilst being careful not to let them get too soggy.

     I only used half quantities since even Conrad would be hard put to scoff ten of these, and there's still enough batter to cook another three, so I know what's back on the menu.

Finally -

I shall shortly be taking my usual Sunday constitutional into Lesser Sodom, because one can never have too much remaindered out-of-date food.