Sorry, Feeling Clever Again
Permit me this delusion in my dotage. We'll get down to brass tacks immediately, because neither you the reader and certainly not Conrad the author are getting any younger.
Okay, we are back with the next fortnightly issue of "The War Illustrated" even if we pre-empt them by 24 hours. Cut me a little slack here! Art!
I'm afraid the caption is utter bosh. It may be 'Illustrated' yet nobody said they had to be accurate, did they? That tank on the cover, you see, is armed with the lowly two-pounder gun and NOT the far mightier six-pounder. Nor was the Churchill especially fast, since it was designed to accompany infantry, who tend not to exhibit gazelle-like swiftness when loaded down with kit, especially if the ground is a tad boggy. Also, it had a lot of reliability problems when rushed into production, so much so that Mister Churchill himself was not best pleased with this armoured lemon bearing his name. What it was very good at was climbing very steep hills, of which there are many in Tunisia, to the extent that Axis commanders would keep a nervous eye open for a creeping Churchill sneaking up perpendicular cliff faces. Art!
This is TWI's broad-brush review of the global war. Whereas in previous years there had been precious little to celebrate, by this time the tide was on the turn and the Axis were getting a right shoeing in both North Africa and the Sinister Union. Note the map at bottom port, which, if your glazzies cannot make it out, bears the name "Stalingrad". A portent. Art!
Here you see a couple of Teuton photographs of Stalingrad as the incredibly bloody slogging match continues. The Ruffians were fighting to their strengths - dying in defensive actions rather than retreating or surrendering - and the Teutons were fighting to their weaknesses - less manpower, insufficient firepower and an inability to manoeuvre. Okay, you Sinister pikers, whose complaining about your war effort never being acknowledged or publicised NOW*? Art!
Here we see the genesis of today's title. Mines were laid by the million in the North African Unpleasantness, especially by the Axis after they were stopped in their advance on Alexandria. The British (and Commonwealth, those are South African engineers at work) also laid mines, and if you didn't record EXACTLY and precisely where you laid them then there would be trouble. Hence the sweeping for mines with a Polish-invented mine-detector, where the impedance of a large metal object would cause an horrid squealing in one's earphones when the detector passed over it.
That bottom photograph shows the more traditional method; prodding the sand with bayonets AT AN ANGLE so you didn't trip the mine by hitting it's detonator, because if you managed that with an anti-tank mine they would be able to bury what was left in a teabag. It's was thus inherently EBD**, quite apart from the enemy shooting at you, too.
I think that's enough of TWI for one day. Let us proceed apace into the uplands and hills of Urquelomplangia!
Urquelomplangia. Perhaps.
Conrad Is, Of Course - Obviously! - Seething
You haven't had enough ranting about Codewords in your life lately, which I plan to remedy right now. Also, SIT BACK DOWN! Let the maliciousness about malfeasance be made manifest.
"HAJJI": You WHAT? How is this even remotely fair? One of a Codeword's least used letters in a pairing? And a five-letter word that ends in "I"? BAH! And for your elucidation, it refers to one who has made the pilgrimage to either Mecca (if a Muslim) or to Jerusalem (if a Christian).
"VETCH": I kvetch at vetch. What is it, anyway? Hang on, let me consult the old Collins Concise - "Any of various climbing plants having pinnate leaves, blue or purple flowers, and tendrils on the stem". There you go. Conrad is proud he had no idea what it was, since it seems one only gets into vetching when entering one's last years, when watching the Chelsea Flower Show is the highlight of your year. Art!
Conrad: vexed by vetch
"LLAMA": I know this isn't really an exotic word as we've been living with them thanks to "Doctor Doolittle" for over fifty years, yet please consider how hard it is to solve a word which begins with two letter "L"s, and which ends with an "A". Think of all the poor bewildered orphans - er - Codeword solvers across the globe who aren't as clever as Conrad, and whose lives are blighted by not getting the solution. Art!
Hmmmmmm. A searing indictment of modern farming methods - or a pile of dung?
That's enough Codewords for me and one day, because my blood pressure is spoking***.
Tarboosh
Another of those words that pop up into Your Humble Scribe's mind for no good reason at random. Why, a couple of mornings ago it was something along the lines of "LG70SE" - what the dickens does my subconscious think it's playing at!
ANYWAY (because that above is a question we don't want answered) it transpires that a tarboosh is - Art?
Very similar to a fez. Note that it frequently has a tassel, which - I dunno, does a fez have a tassel? Art!
Teh Interwebz are not conclusive. Ah, what the heck, who cares.
Unless I wake up thinking of the fez tomorrow.
Finally -
We only need a short item to hit the Compositional Ton, so Your Humble Scribe is resorting to that BBC webpage on the theme of 'Derelict', and let's ascend to the top picture - we cheated yesteryon with the Maunsell Forts photo, which is well down the page. Art!
Lord aloft, the skies in that one look threatening, don't they? The photo is by Chris Bowman, and this wreck is situated somewhere on the North Devon coast. Either abandoned or driven ashore, the elements and time have not been kind to it, as it slowly rots apart. Note that it is filled with so much sand that it's not going to be shifted anywhere unless Devon is hit with a Force 5 hurricane. Which is unlikely, if not quite impossible
And with that I declare us very much done!
* I know it was 78 years ago. Conrad can hold a grudge.
** "Extremely B***** Dangerous"
*** Like spiking but worse.
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