I Feel Rather Clever About This One
You'll see. Conrad has never been one for false modesty. Okay, you recall that over the past few days we have been dealing with that arch-miserablist J G Ballard - and before we go any further NO THAT TITLE IS NOT A SPELLING ERROR! be careful because my Remote Nuclear Detonator needs testing after it's recent servicing - who cast an enormous (grey) shadow over British sci-fi and even further afield. Apparently one edition was withdrawn by it's South Canadian publishers and destroyed for fear of libel charges*. Makes one proud to be a British sci-fi fan! Art!
They made a film of "The Atrocity Exhibition" (!)
Enough people with an artistic bent have read Ol' Jaygee to have had an unfluence (which is like an influence except worse) on modern music (hence today's frightfully clever title!) , which of course can be read in one of two ways. Personally Conrad falls into the It's A Good Thing, because one of the bands actually named after his stuff is my favouritest band ever: The Comsat Angels. Art!
The Comsats, atypically smiley and jokey
Then you have the incredibly influential and glum Joy Division, who recorded a 'track' (stop me if I get too technical) actually titled "Atrocity Exhibition", which fits in perfectly with their arch-miserablist soundscape. Music to look out upon a grey urban concrete landscape in the rain**.
We then come to The Klaxons and their debut album "Myths of the Near Future", which, if Art will get off his waffle-patterned posterior -
Either a mess or a collage. Take your pick.
Let's have proof that their homage is to a real and genuine item. Art!
Proof they are not raving (much)
Going back 40 years, we have those masters of pop The Buggles owing an inspiration to Ol'Jaygee, because their seminal electro-pop single "Video Killed The Radio Star" is directly derived from the story "The Sound Sweep", incredible as it may sound. You can't get further apart than the poppiest of pop songs and Ol' Arch-Miserablist, yet it happened, and I bet you're all humming the chorus now, for which I apologise.
The music marches on - next exhibit, Your Honour, is the Hawkwind ditty "High Rise" - Art!
CAUTION! do not wire your plugs using album covers as a guide. Or you will die.
There you go, track two on Side B. I should point out that this is a CD re-issue as the original only had 8 tracks. Let us sample some of Bob Calvert's lyrics, shall we?
Well, what did you expect? Happy gambolling lambs and rainbows? Ol' Jaygee didn't like music but I like to think he'd have approved of these lyrics.
I think we'll tie this theme up now, or the whole of this post will be about music and the man. Let's end with a cover picture that is ever-so JG. Art?
A very low-flying aircraft.
Not sure about that title, as Ol' Jaygees stories are more likely to give you nightmares than eight hours restful sleep.
Let The (Fuming Nitric) Acid Rain Begin!
For Lo! we are back on a subject close to my fusion-powered pumping unit, that of Codewords, and I have quite the backlog to expostulate about today. SIT BACK DOWN!
"HYDROFOIL": Having a word where there is no vowel after an "H" is an especially dirty trick, quite apart from having two rarely-used letters in there as well ("Y" and "F") AND quite besides the issue of what a hydrofoil is and how often one encounters them. Not at all, in the case of Switzerland or Hungary, because they are (resorts to Collins Concise): A fast light vessel, the hull of which is raised out of the water on pairs of fixed vanes. Art!
They can go like stink because most of the hull is out of the water, meaning less drag. BUT THEY ARE NOT COMMON!
"ONYX": YOU WHAT! And indeed what the Kreplach! is onyx? Hang on - " A variety of chalcedony with alternating black-and-white bands, used as a gemstone." Thank you, Collins Concise. No wonder this solution eluded me; Conrad has nothing to do with gemstones or jewellery. Bah!
"XENON": Grrrrr! Only thanks to my extensive knowledge of the periodic table did I get this one. Heaven only knows what the scientifically illiterate would have done. Cry and admit defeat, I suppose. I bet there aren't any decent pictures to illustrate what a xenon is, either. Art!
Hmmm, I was wrong, this is brilliant***!
That's enough fulminating for one day, Your Humble Scribe needs time for his blood pressure to lower.
Frank's Wild Seers
(With apologies to Tom Waits). For Yes! we are back with the unfettered imagination and artwork of Frank Tinsley, he of "Mechanix Illustrated" and sundry other pulp publications. Let us examine forensically one of his wilder - er - flights of fancy. Art!
Yes, why don't we have ramming jet fighters?
"If atomic attack comes, our best defence may be rammer planes that give the pilot a chance to survive" alleges the author, Martin Caidin. Yes, that Martin Caidin, who wrote the novel "Cyborg" which became the television series "The Six Million Dollar Man". He was an ex-pilot himself so I presume he only came up with this copy after a long and sustained battle with a bottle of whisky.
Why don't we have rammer planes? Because it's an excellent way to lose a plane and pilot simultaneously. Imagine the closing speed of an interceptor and bomber; when combined you're talking speeds in excess of Mach One. The impact would turn both into a confetti-spangled fireball, quite possibly 'cooking-off' whatever nuclear ordnance was being carried. Or - perhaps the whole thing is a hoax and the date of publication was April 1st? Or it was a subtle piece of propaganda, intended to strike fear into the hearts of Sinister pilots?
This, gentle reader, is why anti-aircraft missiles were developed.
Finally -
We have hit the Compositional Ton and I've not yarked on about "Squid Game" yet. Shall I? O go on.
SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!
The fourth game has players partnered in pairs and unlike the previous team games, they play against each other. Each player is given 10 marbles and has to win their partner's 10 marbles, without resorting to violence. Of course, they only find out that one of them is going to be eliminated (for which read "shot dead") when the game begins.
Sang-Woo proves himself to be an utter douchecanoe by deceiving Ali, substituting his marbles for pebbles and weaselling his way to survival. Gi-Hun, to his utter despair (because he is a decent chap at heart), wins against Il-un and walks outside the playing area to the sound of a gunshot.
And thus we are down to 16 players of the original 456. Erk!
Apologies for the pause in the above, Your Humble Scribe was having his wild white thatch trimmed a little, and he now looks a lot smarter.
* Ol'Jaygee has a short story with a title I cannot even allude to here, except that it involves Ronald Regan.
** Hello Manchester!
*** Do you see what I - O you do.
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