If I Were To Say "Desert War"

Then Undoubtedly Some Of You - Those Who Like Living Dangerously -

Will respond with a reply along the lines of "O yes that was when MacDonald's and Burger King were having an argument about Fluffernutters and Milkquakes and -" and then you will cease speaking as my Remote Nuclear Detonator turns you into super-heated vapour.  DESERT is not the same as DESSERT.  

     Ahem.  "Desert: a place that is devoid or almost devoid of vegetation, especially because of low rainfall." Art!

     From the Latin <hack spit> 'Deserere' meaning 'To abandon'.

     Dessert: "The sweet, usually the last course of a meal."  From the French <loud hoorahs> 'Desservir' meaning 'To clear a table'.

Taunt me with what I cannot have, why don't you.
O YOU HAVE DONE!
<reaches for Remote Nuclear Detonator>

     Another, larger, contingent would suck their teeth and say 'Ah yes, Gulf War One, I was there with U.N.I.T's Special Overseas Taskforce, you know.  Personal acquaintance of Brigadier Bambera.' Conrad turns a keen and beady eye upon such respondents - but doesn't use the RND as - well, as an undercover alien one dislikes the attention of U.N.I.T.

Not a lady to cross lightly.  Or at all, really.

     Okay, having typically gone on about what we're not going on about, a vanishingly small number of respondents - probably members of S.O.T.C.W. - would realise Your Humble Scribe is in fact talking about North Africa in the years 1940 to 1943.  

     Because Your Humble Scribe wishes to illustrate the events of seventy-odd years ago via the wartime lens of "The War Illustrated", if you don't mind.  And even if you do.  The magazine was a fortnightly publication that had a (kind of) coloured front cover illustration and tended to have a significant lag between the real world events it covered and the publication date.  This was to ensure that nothing of tactical value was revealed to the Axis.  Art!

     Royal Marines training to go and say hello to people who don't want anyone to come saying hello to them.  The print is too small to see the title, so I shall reveal that it's October 2nd 1942.  Let's peer inside the front cover.  Art!

     Here you have their overview of how the war is going on various fronts, and please notice how much space is devoted to the Sinisters, who were always bleating about how they were ignored and unloved.  Plainly they are not being ignored here, and if you want to remain loved, don't co-invade Poland with the Teutons!  Art?

     By this time there were scads of South Canadian squadrons roosting in This Sceptred Isle, and they had begun to visit Occupied Europe to say hello, even when Occupied Europe didn't like or want anyone from the skies saying hello.

     Now on to the meat of the matter.  Art!

     Finally on topic!  That chap at upper left is Field Marshal Alexander, GOC Middle East by this date, and as an ex-guardsman, always impeccably turned out.  The picture to his left shows a gaggle of generals, Monty being the bare-headed one pointing.  Behind his arm is the jovial and popular 'Jorrocks', identified by his aquiline profile.  And at bottom is a Bofors gun, ready to spit molten death (it says here) at any Axis aircraft that dares venture near the Nile delta.  Again, by this time, there was such a severe fuel shortage amongst the Axis that they did very little venturing.

     I think we'd better move on or this whole post will be about the background to "The Sands Of Valour" <Mister Hand moves in to move things swiftly along>

"Reclaiming History" By Vincent Bugliosi

Your Humble Scribe is now onto page 17 of this epic tome, which is more impressive than you might think because the Introduction alone has over 50 pages.  The footnotes are on a separate CD enclosed in the rear of the volume, and constitute another small volume in themselves.  Ol' Vince states that the single-volume status is only possible because the font size has been reduced and there are thus more words per page than usual, as otherwise it would have taken thirteen standard-sized hardbacks to accommodate his 1.5 million words. Art1

     This is a chap with 1) a sharp mind and 2) an ability to research a case.  We shall see where this leads us*.

Squid Pro Quo

I could probably work out some incredibly convoluted rationale about how that title corresponds to Game Five in "Squid Game" and the probability and possibility of - But no.  It makes a bad pun and that's as far a we're going.  

SPOILER ALERT!  SPOILER ALERT!  SPOILER ALERT!  SPOILER ALERT!

     Okay, for this 'Game' (and those quotes are quite appropriate) the 16 surviving contestants have to don a tabard with the numbers 1 - 16 upon them.  Gi-Hun dithers so long that he's got no choice at all and has to pick number 16.  Which, it transpires, is no bad thing, because - Art?

     The players have to cross a glass bridge of paired glass panels, where one glass panel is made of tempered glass that will sustain their weight and indeed that of another player, whereas the other panel is normal glass that will shatter, pitching them onto the floor a lethal depth below.  And, again, there is a time limit; if you're not off the bridge by 00:00 then you will be shot dead.

     

Unlucky Number 13

     By the end only Sang-Woo, Gi-Hun and Sae-Byeok survive.  Erk!  3 people from the original 456.  That's only one person from every 152, if you're into statistics.  Why carry on?  Because the prize money amounts to nearly ₩45,000,000,000, that's why.  

     Hmmmmm.  No.  

Still Jowly, And Scowly, Yet Less Hairy

Because I cannot think of any word to do with hair or hairdressing or being hirsute that rhymes.  So.  Conrad has had his unruly thatch trimmed and looks quite different, if not quite human yet.  I'm working on that.  Art!

     See what I mean about the scowling?  That, gentle readers, is a face that is NOT designed for smiling.  Thanks go to Wonder Wifey for doing the best she could with an unforgiving canvas.

Finally -

Like a flea on a griddle - an aphorism I have used many times without witnessing, rather to my discontent as I hate the horrid little bloodsuckers - I have to haste away because I've got laundry to see to and those samosas won't last forever and there's still the 3D Empire State Building to see to -

     Yeah yeah yeah first world problems are still problems.

And with that, Vulnavia, we are ever so done!

*  Not down any rabbit holes.