There Go The Wolves

No!  Nothing To Do With A Ballfoot Team

The last critic who made that 'hilarious' connection is now a glowing cloud of vapour, drifting out over the suburbs of Birmingham.  So, beware, and allow me to point out that there is a definite article in there, Grammar Nazi that I am*.  Art!

     Conrad is rather unsure about this one.  The central conceit - and we are not talking about high-concept art here - was that Mildew Wolf was always trying to get his fangs into Lambsy, only to be forever thwarted by Bristle Hound.  Given that Lambsy (I did warn you about lack of imagination here) was always running around I dare say he'd have been as tough as old boot leather, and probably best consumed in a casserole done via slow cooker.  Also, regard the evil outsider wolf, for he covers his modesty with a pair of dungarees, whereas the most Lambsy can be said to wear is a scarf.  As for that pervert Bristle Hound, why - once again! - he commits the faux pas of No Trousers Or Underwear, in fact highlighting this absence by wearing a hat, a scarf and a waistcoat.  Art!

     One would assume that Mildew would give up after a while and seek new pastures, real literal ones, rather than endlessly getting spifflicated by the Hound.  O well, what do I know about the psychology of wolves?

     Perhaps a little.  I did mention yesteryon that very few people over in South Canada have ever been eaten by wolves, who have to be both desperate and starving to ever attempt a dining attempt upon Hom. Sap. since the desolate areas where they might meet usually inspire a reliance upon firearms by the latter.  Art!

If these are the children of the night, I don't think I want to meet Mum or Dad

     Over the past 100 years exactly 10 people have been slain in wolf attacks in South Canada, meaning that wolves are even less deadly than sharks.  Yes yes yes, you wouldn't expect to meet a Great White on the plains of North Dakota, you know what I mean.  Or you ought to.

MESEMBRYANTHUM!

Thank you, brain, for bringing this word to the forefront of my consciousness yesterday.  You may be wondering what it is, or was, as it has the kind of verbal heft to be expected of an extinct mega-fauna, along the lines of Baluchitherium.  Art!

A big beast indeed

     One can imagine Sir D. Atty going on in hushed tones about how this mighty animal hopped around on it's five legs in the fetid swamplands of the Lower Pleistocene, or some such.  Except NO! because it's not an extinct animal of any extraction.

     Then again, it has the ring of revolutionary fervour to it, perhaps being a slogan yelled by angry Hellenes in their struggle to overthrown their Ottoman masters.  "Mesembrytanthum!" being Greek for "Don't let the door hit your bottom on the way out!" (a compact language, Greek).  Except NO! although you are getting hotter.

"Lord Byron struggled manfully to pronounce 'Mesembryanthum' "

     O enough going round the gooseberry bush.  Art!

     Flowers, is what they are.  Very bright and distinctive, yet still only flowers.  Sorry about that if you were expecting a big reveal.  And no, I have no idea why their name suddenly popped up in my very un-flowerlike brains.

"QUIBBLER"

Yes, you might well quiver.  Conrad is ever one to grace your dubious selves with this epithet, and now it turns up as a Codeword solution, you pikers.  Your Humble Scribe cannot decide if he is angry, amused or both at once (child's play for me), so let us vent some spleen whilst I make my mind up. 

"WIZEN": Forgive me for not immediately giving a description, since I am typing this at work with no Collins Concise to hand, and it's not a tome you want to lug around with you.  Teh Interwebz define it as "Archaic variant of 'wizened' that should no longer be used in codewords".  Shrivelled like a raisin, if you want an image.

     Okay, no need to prevaricate any longer, Conrad has decided he is ANGRY!  O SO ANGRY! and now on with the show.

"HYRAX": No!   Not a distant cousin of the Lorax.  Which is a silly creature dreamed up by Doctor Seuss after a night on tequila cocktails and bath salts.  Art!

     The Hyrax, for your information, rather resembles a giant hamster, even if scientists claim it's more akin to an elephant, and Your Modest Artisan has come across these delicious little critters before, so of course - obviously! - he solved the word easily.  Just think of all those poor, benighted people out there, however, who have never had a hyrax in their life.  How long would it have taken them to solve such a fiendish word**?  Art!

Hyrax up to hi jinx

"AGAMA": An entity so obscure it's not in my Collins Concise, and I can't be bothered going through a litany of hilarious alternatives it might be, so - Art!

A lizard

     Yes, a lizard.  If there were an entry in my Collins Concise then it would undoubtedly say "Not to be abused by inclusion in any Codewords, on pain of Remote Nuclear Detonator".  Do you want a bit more Sir D. Atty guff? O alright then, it lives mostly in Africa, it eats insects and it's colouration can vary due to mood, gender or how flashy in courtship it feels like.  Also, they don't like being put into Codewords, I can just tell.

Finally -

I feel a bit lost without the comforting bulk of my Collins Concise, not to mention my Brewer's Dictionary of Phrase and Fable.  They are not going to become travelling companions, though, as they must weigh half a stone between them and are two inches and three inches thick, respectively.

     I was going to add in more of Martin Zero's amazingly dark, dank and dismal journey underground, beneath the old Park Bridge Iron Works, but have had to put a hold on this.  Why, you quibble - THERE I TOLD YOU SO! - because it requires playing Youtube in order to take snips of relevant portions, and since this is all being typed up at work, the less notice management take of me, the better.  In compensation - 

*  A badge I wear with pride.

**  Decades, easily.