You know, the cowardly, nit-picking, treacherous <Mister Hand redacts a long list of negative personality traits> hologram from "Red Dwarf", whom is the utter antithesis (been wanting to use that word for days now) of the genial layabout Dave Lister. A hologram courtesy of one of science-fictions cheapest yet most effective special effects. Art!
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| AJ, as nobody called him, ever |
The reason I bring this up is because 1) You don't get many television programs that use Esperanto and 2) They got around censorship notions by creating the artificial swear-word "Smeg". For your information this had already been done in "Judge Dredd" with a wide variety of intriguing future swears, and was yet to come in "Battlestar Galactica". Conrad himself has invented future swears for his "Doctor Who" fan-fictions you fnorping plabby moojs.
If you will excuse me for a minute, I bought a whole load of remaindered chicken thighs and legs last night and need to cook some before they go off*.
Thus Your Humble Scribe had to pinch himself when he came across an advert for a fridge. Art!
I has hastening forth to work and thought I might have mistaken the marque as a variety of "5 Meg" referring to some variety of Digital Devil Box (or mobile phone if we're being formal).
But no. There really is a manufacturer with that as their brand. "Smeg". Either they had no idea or knew and didn't care. Conrad unsure if he would ever purchase one.
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| He would. In a heartbeat |
There's Been A Murder ...
You can just imagine Private Fraser from "Dad's Army" intoning the phrase above and waggling his large, expressive eyebrows whilst dramatically rolling his "R"s.
Which has nothing to do with murder-mysteries as read by middle-aged men, for Conrad has just finished "Death At The President's Lodgings" by Michael Innes. It's rather slow, I have to say, and whilst it does give one a sense of how Oxford University ran in the Thirties, it is glacially paced. The resolution is so complicated I can't even allude to it without increasing our daily word count to 3,000 words plus. Art!
There are lots of editions, so some of you are still human - oooops I beg your pardon - so some of you out there have been buying it.
"The Franchise Affair" by Josephine Tey was far more enjoyable. It was not only well written, it was interesting and stylish. Unusually it didn't involve murder; rather, a fifteen-year old schoolgirl accused two women of locking her in an attic for a month, starving and beating her. A country solicitor more used to wills and conveyancing takes them on as clients and soon finds himself conducting an investigation quite outside his normal lifestyle. Ms. Tey has a style I like and I shall be looking for more of her work in future <Wonder Wifey cringes at the thought of the Book Mountain acquiring a new, higher peak>. Art!
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| You are looking at a critical plot point! |
Back At The Bridgewater Hall
I shall finish off my review of Nick and Warren, since I have space to do them justice here. I made a note of the songs they did, a fair few from their recent "Carnage" album (if that's what the young folk call them nowadays), including "Hand Of God", which was MUCH more intense than the studio version, and "White Elephant", that one with the high Tut Factor due to all the swears, as well as a cover of T Rex's "Cosmic Dancer" (which seems very strange as a selection, but which worked) and of course "Carnage" itself. Plus some other stuff I didn't recognise. I may have to work on that. Art!
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| Nick being a balladeer |
They came back to do two encores, by which time Conrad was looking at his watch and wondering about the last bus. And a young lady came down to the front to ask for Warren and Nick's autograph, which they immediately gave, nice to see people not being precious about it.
And that's the last of my birthday present, pretty apt for musicians who used to be in The Birthday Party.
You What?!
It may come as news to you that Jon Pertwee, the debonair actor who portrayed The Doctor in the BBC's premier dramamentary "Doctor Who" was a very naughty schoolboy. He got expelled a lot. In order to make pocket money whilst still at school, if not actually on the premises, he took part in a fairground exhibit known as the "Wall Of Death", which, if Art will put down his plate of coal -
The idea is that, as long as the rider keeps their speed up, momentum will overcome gravity and they can zip along. If their forward speed drops, so will they. Jon used to perform with a sidecar -
And in the sidecar sat a toothless lion. Just for effect, one presumes. Mind you, I bet it still had claws, so Wall Of Possible Death still holds true. And it must have been well-used to the routine, because forcing a lion to endure sitting in a sidecar whilst wazzing around at silly speeds strikes Conrad as a very dubious proposition. Lions have a way of saying "No" that leaves one in tatters.
- excuse me, just had to go wash sticky chicken residue from my hands.
Where were we?
Finally -
Despite being down for a 10:00 start tomorrow and being due to do that work at home, Your Humble Scribe still has to be up and out almost before sunrise, travelling in to The Dark Tower. For, on Friday at mere minutes to clocking out time, I had to dash to the toilet, pack all my stuff away and close down my laptop. Unfortunately this last minute rush meant I put the power lead and earphones for my works laptop into my locker, where they remain <sad face>. If I am out of the house by 07:00 then, given that buses in the morning are a lot more frequent than they are in the evening, Your Modest Artisan has three hours to make it. I think it's just do-able.
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| <heaves weighty sigh> |
I know what you're thinking - why not go in on Saturday or Sunday? Because nobody's worked a Saturday in The Dark Tower for a year and a half, and never on a Sunday, so I've no idea if my pass would work or not. Conrad not happy at a wasted three-hour journey.
And with that we are done!
* They should be good for a week or two, right?
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