Ray Mistie For Me

No!  Nothing To Do With The Film -
 - of almost the same name, and if the merest suspicion of you raising the issue of spelling mistakes comes up then I will nuke you into glowing ash, alright?  Splendid!  
     No, the "Mistie" of the title is Conrad's dismissive and familiar new nickname for the Mysterons (you know, the sworn enemies of Earth), those bods who have a base on Mars and a bad attitude.  Art?

The sinister Misties at work

     To his immense surprise, Conrad discovered mere days ago that there is an ending to the Misties War of Nerves, and it didn't consist of Earth's population being turned to vapour as every nuclear warhead on the plane either launched or detonated.  Art?


     Apologies for the Jim Watson artwork, it seems pretty rushed, and he works much better in colour than monochrome.  
     There's no obvious date given here, though on the "One Century Ahead" convention, Your Humble Scribe believes the strip to be set in 2070.  By this time some obscure South Canadian effort called "Starry Trex" took centre front in the comic, whose name I forget because it had changed so often.  Some combination of "TV 21", "Joe 90", "Tornado" and I think "Uncle Tom Cobley", too.

Mysteron retro-metabolism at work

     And that explains the "Ray" of today.
     Motley!  Go turn on the electronic entertainment system, for I wish to listen to some music.

A John Peel favourite

What On Earth?
If you see the acronym "WoE" on BOOJUM! anywhere, that's an expression of Conrad's anger (usually) or bafflement (in the other 3% of cases) about an element or entity in everyday life -
     Sorry, I'm still having to come to terms with the fact that "The Producers" is a MUSICAL and I like it.  Possibly only because it spoofs the Nazis and Herr Schickelgruber.  Yeah - yeah, that must be it.  It's an historical spoof with music - YEAH!  Got it!  Okay, my cognitive dissonance has lessened so we can proceed with the article.

"Phew, Conrad's back on an even keel.  For a moment there, Gene, I was worried."

     Where were we?  O yes -
     Conrad has been chasing up a recipe to create "Syrniki", or Russian cheese pancakes.  The Youtube channel "Ushanka Show", which I recommend, has Sergei reciting what seems to be "Carrot cheese" as one of the ingredients.  WoE? I thought.  It must be his pronunciation, but no, he repeated the words, or at least that's what I heard.

Syrniki

     So, what do the recipes say?  "Quark".  WoE?  Not even going to explore the innumerable comic possibilities of that, as I want to know WHAT CHEESE TO USE.  
     "Farmers cheese".  WoE?  Okay, I am starting to get angry by now.  WHAT KIND OF DOG BUNS CHEESE!  Please.  "Similar to ricotta" closer but still no cigar help please WHAT KIND OF - ah, apparently it's a "pressed cottage cheese."
     Okay, I now have a couple of tubs of same from the Co-Op in Royton; one imagines that there will be a bit of pressure applied to their contents whilst they sit in a muslin bag, to squeeze out some of the moisture.  I may have a shot at making them tonight.
     Watch this space.

No, Art - wait, is that a galaxy from side-on?  Because "galaxy" comes from the Greek "Galactos", meaning "milk".
O go on then

Massive Movie Misfires
It's been a good while since we had one of the top 10 movie flops in terms of box office, so let us now look at "Town & Country", which came out in 2001 and which was a disaster of epic proportions.  Art?

Starring - lots of old people!

     It lost at least £56  million, since - of course! - creative accountancy was used to mask exactly how big a failure it was, as it may actually have lost £72 million.  The reasons were that Warren Beatty wanted lots and lots and lots of takes, which drags the whole process of filming out - meaning it costs more.  Then the script was not finished when they filmed it, which is always a bad thing.  This meant that the whole film had to be shelved until rewrites could be done, and then reshoots of the rewrites could be filmed, all of which delayed release and bloated the budget.  The scriptwriter brought in to do "a few weeks of script-polishing" bought a £2 million house with his fees.

In it for the <ahem> bucks

     It meant Warren Beatty didn't appear on film for another 15 years, so there was a silver lining after all*.

<there will now be a short pause as I eat my tea, with Edna looking on despondently, as doleful as only a dog can be>

Thanks But No Thanks But Thanks
Over on Reddit last night, there was a thread about things that are actually far more dangerous than people realise.  "Drowsy driving" came up quite frequently.
     Not so common was one that warned of the perils of eating uncooked slugs and snails.  These creatures may have an internal parasite that, if ingested alive, can prove fatal to the ingester.  As one person commented, "I think I'm good for this one, ta very much".
     Indeed.  Art?

Not yummy.  Not yummy in any way, shape or form**.

     Conrad has never tasted cooked snail, yet he can only imagine that uncooked slug would be immediately horrid on the tongue.  Slimy, for one thing.  Any curious and stupid child who put one in their mouth would spit it out.
     However!  Your family furry fiend/friend, also known as the Domesticated Wolf - O go on then, "Dog" - needs to be dissuaded from gobbling down raw gastropods, because with a dog it's a case of See-food-eat-food-worry-later, all in the space of half a second.  Dogs are not known for long, considered reflection about what they eat***.

     And with that Public Service Announcement, we are done!

*  I know, how catty of me.  Ask me if I'm bothered.
**  Not ever, even if cooked.
***  Nor, to be fair, is Conrad.