Only We Can Prevent Planets

I Bet That Got Your Attention, Didn't It?
Your Humble Scribe, never a ray of sunshine-yness at the best of times, used to worry about the chances of an accidental thermonuclear war breaking out in the Seventies and Eighties.  "Accidental" because the Cuban Missile Crisis had frightened people into becoming a lot warier about the Big Bang Bombs.

Ooops.

     As that threat receded in the Nineties, Conrad felt a bit of a hollow emptiness.  Fortunately something else had arisen to take it's place: Near Earth Objects!  Specifically, Near Earth Objects That Get Too Near For Comfort.  These are comets and meteors that stooge around the Solar System in orbits that bring them close to Earth and, eventually, one of them is going to hit.  Art?

The Chicxulub Crater

     That one above finished off the dinosaurs.  It really is a case of when, not if.
     Unless one man succeeds in his mission.  One man, one man alone, one man -
     - in a field.  In Wales.  Art?

Our hero Jay Tate

     Jay set up "Spaceguard", more formally known as the Near Earth Objects Information Centre, in 1997.  The site's various telescopes select a NEO from a list supplied by the Minor Planets Centre, then track it.  By doing this they can accurately extrapolate the object's orbit and determine whether it is an impactor or not.  You occasionally find a frothing panic in the media when they loudly declare "EARTH DOOMED! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!  OBJECT DMW4447#^3 IS GOING TO HIT US IN NINE MONTHS!"  What then happens is that observatories and astronomers extrapolate the orbit of DMW4447#^3 accurately, and find it will miss Earth by ten Astronomical Units.  The media then hastily change the subject to Kim Kardashian's latest buttock transplant or somesuch.

Jay at work.  Probably not contemplating buttock transplants

     As Jay stolidly explains, the sooner he and others detect a potential NEO impactor, the better, since the further away it is from impact, the lesser the change we need to make in order to change Australia-vanishing-in-a-fireball to a near-miss.  Yes, the probability is miniscule; but if it happens, you'll have fond memories of the balmy Covid-19 days when it wasn't raining molten lava and the oceans hadn't boiled away.
     I was prompted to type this up after reading about Spaceguard on the BBC's website, and here follows a link:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-53082475

     We already have the technology to deflect an NEO, as witness the Japanese Hayabusa comet probes; all we need is sufficient early warning.

WALES: PROTECTING THE PLANET!

     The motley is recovering from tetrodotoxin poisoning for the present, as my dart-throwing skills proved superior to it's dart-dodging skills, and thank you for asking.

Dammit, what was that science-fiction novel by Captain W.E. Johns, the creator of "Biggles", where the world was threatened by an asteroid on a collision course*?

Conrad Is Agog
I know, I know, you're all sitting there shaking your probosces mandibles pseudopodia heads, going "No, no, he's an alien!"
     I stumbled across a thread on Twitter that Bryn Hammond (Proper Established Author And Everything) had put up, and it lead to some gobsmacking revelations.  A previous poster had been complaining about the shoddy quality of a work from Pen & Sword, who sell books on military history**: there didn't seem to have been any proof-reading and the text was full of spelling mistakes <shudders in horror>.
     After that came a few comments about the dubious quality of Pen & Sword works, and then a sub-thread developed about this.  Art?

"Air War Over The Nore" by Sutherland and Canwell

     At first glance it looks like a legitimate work of military history.  However, and a "However" written in dayglo green letters ten feet tall, it is in fact a dreadful hash with no redeeming values.  The authors apparently operate on a commission from Pen & Sword, and crank out a book every 3 weeks; not just military history but a whole swathe of subjects that they claim to be experts in.  Since 2012 they have published 190 works.  Art?

     The script isn't that legible, so let me inform you that AWOTN blatantly copies material from 4 other books, and 80% of it is simply copied material.  What isn't copied is invariably wrong.  They didn't ask permission to copy, and computer-scanned the original pictures in a very shoddy way, leading to very poor quality pictures.
     Mister Foynes, whose material they had copied most of, took them to court, whereupon they promptly settled out of court and even paid his legal fees.
     We shall come back to this, it's too juicy not to!

"Crash Bandicoot"
From the context of a peculiar thread on Facebook somewhere, Conrad guessed that this was a computer game.  Art?

Conrad correct

     Conrad generally avoids computer games as they are the assassins of time; you sit down to play one at 18:37 having just dined on sardines and bigos stew and the next thing you know it's 01:47 and you have to be up at 06:00.
     I see they only give Mister C. Bandicoot three fingers, and square Hom. Sap. teeth.  This kind of ethnomorphology simply will not do.  Art?

The real thing.  Rather less garish.

     Aha!  It was "Return to Mars".  Now I know.  If I remember correctly - it's been a few decades - the Martian atmosphere's red colouration is in fact due to -
     - mosquitoes!  Planet-wide swarms of mosquitoes.

"Basque"
It was the answer to a Codeword entry, before you ask, and Conrad - me being me - was immediately struck by the fact that it is both a region that encompasses both parts of Spain and France, known as "Euscadia" to the locals, and "a tight-fitting bodice for women" according to my Collins Concise.  Art?
                            
     O so easily confused, hmmm?
     All my Collins Concise says is that the underwear is derived from the French word "Basque" which sends us round in a circle, rather.  Why the same word for two such dissimilar things?
     I shall go ponder on this.

Finally -
It is a staple on the blog that Conrad can spend his time doing pretty much whatever he feels like, whereas everybody else with a hobby has Too Much Time On Their Hands.  Remember that enormous ATAT made out of gingerbread?  Yeah, that kind of thing.  Not to mention the gigantic Dalek constructed from straw.  Well, here's similar on a slightly smaller scale.  Art?

See what I mean?

     It is pretty impressive.  Conrad is unsure exactly what's going on here, mind.  Are they trying to kill it?  Capture it?  Reacting in terror as this thing erupts from an archaeological dig they were undertaking?    If trying to kill it one would suggest that they should have brought one of these along - Art!

Chally Two in Lego.  Now I can die happy.

     And with that, Vulnavia, we are ever so surely done!

*  I must have forgotten about this since 1975.  What a strange thing memory is.
**  Your Humble Scribe has given up the hilarious pretence of not knowing what a "book" is.