How The Czechs Invented U2

Hold On To Your Seats -
This will be a bumpy ride.
     I know there isn't any obvious connection between Bono's chums and Czechoslovakia, but bear with me, bear with me -

I know, I know, Detroit not quite Prague.  Work with me on this.

     Here an aside.  Why does Disney promote that usurian pervert Winnie The Pooh, whom we so often see wearing NO PANTS OR UNDERWEAR?  I think we should be told.

One is decent, the other IS NOT!

     Anyway, back to Bohemia. Way, waaaaay back.  All the way back to 1978, in fact when The Edge was still learning an A minor progressive and Bono was miming with a hairbrush.  What do we find on children's television in that most Central European of central European countries, Czechoslovakia?  Art!

Notably clad in both outer and underwear

     Or, if you translate into English, "She Came Out Of The Blue Sky".  With a bullet.  Hence the U2 reference.  Work with me here!
     Conrad had not heard of this television program, nor seen any of it, before this week.  It reminds me of "Chocky", which again I have not seen but have read the novel, except this is one of the Czech's attempts at science fiction for kids, under the despotism of the Sinister Union.  They appear to have done well, as not only was it a big hit in Czechoslovakia, but in other countries,too.  

What's not to like about Sparkly-Head Girls?

     If you are curious, then it's probably available on Youtube.
     Right!  Now that we've tackled blue skies, shall we tackle a blood red one?

O wow!  U2 had an album of that name?  Who knew!

Back To The English Civil Unpleasantness
Do not worry, gentle readers, for I have no intention of bombarding you with facts about the logistics of same - unless you really want me to?  No? That's a definite, unqualified, unambiguous "No"?
     Right, as you may be aware - still a "No"? okay, okay - Your Humble Scribe has been playing a few wargames set in the ECW with the 'Polemos' ruleset, and - you haven't changed your mind? okay, okay - has now moved on.  Art!

     This is the aftermath of my previous game, everything  bundled up and ready to put away.  Except I decided to play another game, where the Royalists have decided to definitely march on London at the bottom-end of campaigning in 1642.  In real life this turned into a prolonged staring match, where both sides blinked first; Conrad has taken it one step beyond.

More music references! How entirely unexpected!

     Hrrrmmm, to borrow a phrase from Rorschach in "Watchmen" the comic book not the film - what we now have is what didn't happen in real life, a Royalist assault on the Parliamentary forces blocking the road to London.  Art!

     The randomly-generated terrain has an "enclosure" - the square green bit - which has narrowed the battlefield rather.  You can view this as a delaying action, fought to buy time in order for the defences of London to be completed.  These were extensive and strong, rather like me.

Close, But No Cigar
Your Humble Scribe is pretty sure this title derives from the South Canadian and expresses the concept of "Very nearly there but not quite".
    I refer - obviously! - to bottled beer, for your sad unfortunate writer is one of those unfortunate saddoes who looks for a telling pun in whatever he's buying at the supermarket.  It used to be chocolate bars back in the early days, which theme rapidly ran out of steam; there's not that many chocolate bars to begin with, and new ones arrive only at very long intervals.  Beers, on the other hand, are ten-a-penny in terms of new ones.  You look at the shelves, turn away, turn back and O! there's another five different brands arrived*.
     Anyway - Art?

     You see, in line with the English Civil Unpleasantness, I was looking for a brew that dated from the 1640s and this is the best I could get.  I know, I know, pretty thin.  I shall try to do better on Wednesday this week (big shop day).

Let Us See How Our Favourite Angry Young Czech Is Today
O Marketa!  You're probably too young to have seen the television series I was prating about above, which fact has probably already irked you somewhat.  What comes next on your list of pet peeves?
     "Confusing the Czech Republic with Poland"
     There is some basis for confusing the two - they are both Slavic nations, whom use the Roman alphabet, and they are both in NATO and at that point Marketa can rightly grow annoyed.  Poland, for one thing, is a lot larger than Czechia, and it shares a border with the Eastern Bully.

Czechs laughing at themselves

     You can tell where Prague is on here, can't you?  Plus there are a LOT more Catholics in Poland than Czechia.     Now, Marketa, have a Budvar and for heaven's sake, cheer up!

Finally -
Shall we finish with a Horror Trope again? I shall endeavour to keep it relatively concise this time - that's one of the things about not having an editor, you can churn out endless scrivel and you're up to 1,500 words before you realise.

<A lone traveller walks down a deserted road in the middle of a forest at night, scudding clouds cover the moon and an owl hoots eerily off in the distance>
TRAVELLER <whistlng to himself>: Blimey, it's certainly quiet out here.
<There is a rustling - a sinister rustling - in the forest depths to one side of the road>
TRAVELLER: O I say - is there anyone there?
<The rustling stops>
TRAVELLER: Look, if you're the local werewolf I was warned about, you should know we're on Central Standard Time and it's not going to be midnight for another three hours.
WEREWOLF <emerging from the shadows and looking rather hangdog>: Oh.  I see.  Sorry about that.  No watch, you see.
TRAVELLER: Not even a mobile phone?
WEREWOLF: Nope.  Claws are too big for the keypad.
TRAVELLER:  I feel so bad for you!  Well, I must be running along.
WEREWOLF:  I'll just go and fast for another three hours, then.  Cheerio.


*  I exaggerate but slightly.