Polish Cuisine

Polsky Sklep!

I may have to run that past some of my confederates (the Polish ones, not the Lithuanian ones, as that would be silly)  work to get it right, but I'll get it right.  As you should surely know by now, Conrad has both a weakness and a curiosity about cuisine of other countries, so a mysterious jar labelled "Goose And Cabbage" was a very welcome Father's Day present.  Not only that, it could be left in the cupboard for an age - jarred food, keeps forever, hooray!

 

Father's Day Present

Father's Day Present - the aftermath

     This can go with the pickled gherkins, tinned mackerel and (when I can get them) pickled mushrooms as the Polsky Sklep to go for.  I have to say, it wasn't bad, though one wouldn't want to eat it out of the jar cold, unless for a dare.

That Pamphlet Again
Have we left sufficient time since yesterday to discuss the tactics and methodology of the war in North Africa during the Second Unpleasantness?
     Yes.
     Ergo, let us then cover battlefield salvage and recovery, because I bet you're simply thirsting to be illuminated on these topics, and even if you're not you ought to pretend convincingly because today I have the laser cannon**.
     Okay, yesterday I banged on rather about reliability in the desert, because nothing bothers a commander more than not having his military bits of kits thanks to breakdowns, and the North African desert was nothing more than a breakdown waiting to happen 24/7/365. 

Naughty gunners, making the desert messy

     Things were bad enough just swanning about in the middle of nowhere, without adding in the complexity of people trying their bestest to ensure that your life ended that very second, if not earlier.  The tanks of this era, you see, were not the wonders of reliability that they are now <coughs loudly to cover up this heinous lie>.  They would frequently break down out of combat, never mind in it. 
     The Teutons tackled this problem head-on, with specialised recovery teams who would winch in and save tanks literally under the guns of the British.  Art?


     This is typically Australian - using stolen Teuton equipment to salve disabled British tank.  Art!

A model example

     This practice led to some discrepancies in the number of Teuton tanks reported destroyed, as most losses in action were recovered, repaired and raring to go the next day, so (as an example) the British might report knocking out 28 Teuton panzers in a single day during Operation Brevity, when the bally Hun only lost 3.
     Then there was retention of the battlefield.  The bally Hun, the dirty curs, would cheat and stay on the battlefield regardless of whether they won or not, which is simply not cricket, old chap.  Perfidious Albion's strategy was to retire to a laager a couple of miles back, tanks arrayed in a circle facing outwards, all the "soft-skins" i.e. non-tanks, arranged in the middle, there to await the "B" Echelon supply vehicles to come up with petrol, ammo and jam.  This made the Teuton's job easier, as they could - really, this isn't how you play cricket! - retrieve their own vehicles and blow up the British ones that had been left behind. 

A.K.A. a leaguer
(The horribly unreliable Crusader at front)

     To it's credit, the pamphlet does acknowledge the Teuton's primacy and efficiency in this area, along with the embarrassing admission that it too Perfidious Albion an age to catch up.
     And now you are more educated about the Second Unpleasantness in North Africa, which is always a handy thing - great ice-breaker at parties!

Competition - I Think

WHO IS THIS THAT DARES TO CHALLENGE CONRAD FOR    TITLE OF MIGHTIEST OF ALL "FORBIDDEN PLANET"            FANS!                                                                                                                     

BAH!

      I SHALL DISEMBOWEL THEM AND DANCE A JIG ON THEIR STEAMING INTESTINES!
      But not until I've watched the Youtube video, as it may some interesting bits.

This One Can Not Be Called "Competition" In Any Sense Of The Word

If you know Conrad at all, then you know that Hatred Of All Musicals is basically built into his DNA.  I will go down fighting that "The Blues Brothers", "Spinal Tap" and "The Return Of Captain Invincible" are NOT musicals in any sense of the word, count on that <practices a left jab and right uppercut>.                                                                                           

"What's this?" I asked myself, encountering an interesting divertissement on the BBC's 

website.  They posited that, although it is summer, a rainy day had arrived***, and you needed to find a comfort-food film to watch, which their selection quiz would determine.

     Well, it was only going to be 6 questions, so Your Humble Scribe sat down and              answered them, being pretty serious about his responses.                                                

 

Seriously?  SERIOUSLY!?
(I'm using a lot of upper-case today, aren't I?)

     "Mary Poppins" and "Beauty and the Beast"?  I cannot think of two films I would be less likely to enjoy, unless there's one about that useless bunch of bumbletucks the Spice Grils, which would combine the pleasures of pouring molten lead into your ears whilst having glowing coals shot into your eyes.  Whilst sipping on a cup of liquid mercury and sitting on an angry porcupine.  In the rain.
     Really, Beeb, you have outdone yourself with that one. 
     Bah!

 

Oh - YOUR 5,000 Word Monograph Is Okay?!?

You don't have to go far or look too hard to find evidence that Your Humble Scribe likes "Doctor Strangelove", because he does.                                                                             

However, there are one or two - okay, two - niggles about the film that Conrad can only think were deliberate mistakes put in by Stanley Kubrick, just for secret giggles.  I mean, he'd read extensively about nuclear war and nuclear weapons, and he was a bit of a        stickler - okay, a lot of a stickler - for accuracy and details.                                            

  

     There you can see Major Kong riding one of the two nukes to a terminal impact.  Okay, the thing about South Canadian nuclear bombs is that they were very bomb-like in appearance.  Art?

Thus

     Conrad is pretty sure that the "bomb" in DrS is actually a mock-up of a Thor IRBM - a missile.  Art?

Thus

     See what I mean?

And with that, we are done for the day. 

*  Not literally forever, but getting there.
**  Now, see that fly two miles away?  - now you don't.

***  Surely not!