Science Affliction

Today, We Muse
In the sense of "Why" and "How" and "What on Earth"? 
     Here an aside.  I'm idly watching an episode of "Andromeda" and a couple of thoughts occur to me.  One is that those female crew members are wearing an awful lot of makeup; is is SOP to look as if a night's clubbing is in prospect?  The second is that those sidearms, "Force Lances", look rubbish in combat.  They are essentially a metal stick, which means you cannot actually aim them.  Art?

Looks more like something you'd vape with

     They are less practical than the infamous 'dustbuster' version of Star Trek's phaser.  "Ah," say the fans.  "But they can fire smart bullets!"  Oh yes?  How many?  Smart bullets are actually miniature missiles and there's not room in that vapin Force Lance for very many.  And they'd have to be brilliant, not just smart.  Or perhaps magic.  "I am going to waggle  my F-Lance* in the general direction of the enemy and think my mystical projectile to target."
     Then there's what I would call 'The Disposable Opposition' - Calderans, it seems, who are ugly chaps, there's no denying it.  "I've fought them before.  They're tough, not invincible," quotes one of our heroes.
     Right.  The enemies have proper weapons that can be aimed.  Art?

Summat like this

     Despite hugely outnumbering our three heroes, they cannot shoot for toffee and die like flies.  That's tough?  Tish!
     Righto, time to put the motley in a safety harness and dangle it beneath the helicopter!**  

What does "Objective Burma" Have In Common With "The General"?
No!  Not the Brendan Gleason film, I refer to the Buster Keaton one, which is one of the funniest comedies ever made.
     "They are both made in black and white" I hear you reply.
     Well, true, yet that's not what I was getting at.

Buster in his element

     "They were both made in South Canada," I hear your second reply.
     No!  I mean, yes, they were, that's not what I mean.
     "They both use English as a communicative medium; spoken in "Objective Burma" and written in "The General", because it was a silent film," is your third response.

     You're just messing with me, aren't you?  I bet you could keep this up all evening.
     Enough wibbling!  
     Oh, here's another aside.  "Objective Burma" might well have been called "Objected Burma", because it aroused furious anger here in the Allotment upon release, and I mean furious - even Winston Churchill got angry, and there's a cat you don't want on your ass.  It was because OB portrayed the South Canadians as triumphant in Burma, which was almost exclusively a theatre fought in by Perfidious Albion.  For a film made in 1945 it didn't get released in the Allotment until 1952.

Burma

     Where was I?
     Oh yeah.  Well, Buster's character in TG tries desperately to enlist in the Confederate army, only to be repeatedly rebuffed; as a train driver (is that the technical term?  Conrad not up on train terminology) he is in a reserved occupation.  They simply won't take him.
     Now, Errol Flynn - the star of OB, not a name I picked at random - tried desperately to enlist in any branch of the South Canadian armed forces that would take him - unsuccessfully.  For he had malaria, and tuberculosis and a heart condition and a bad back, too, just for good measure.  The studios kept this litany of woe a secret, because - image!
     That's the connection.  I know it's taken a long time to get here, hopefully you enjoyed the journey.***

Winston, pondering on "Objective Burma"
(perhaps)

Wow.  This musing sure eats up the word count.

Surely You Jest?
I don't know what the journalist responsible for the following was thinking, drinking or smoking, but they are as wrong as tomato ketchup^.  Art?

"Why working from home was never an easy option"

     ARE YOU KIDDING!?  Since I started WFH, I can finish work at 16:10, and by 16:11 I am home.  This saves at least two hours travel time, maybe even three - for with First Bus you never know if or when the bus will turn up. Of course, this means I have to sacrifice the free morning paper with a Cryptic Crossword, but some sacrifices are worth making.



*  Wash your dirty mind out!
**  This is how they filmed some scenes in "The Battle of Britain"
***  I did!
^  Whether it's tomato-flavoured sugar or sugar-flavoured tomato, it's still wrong.