Mind My Behind

If I Don't, Who Else Will?
Wonder Wifey, for one.  This is a consequence of working from home - yes, I am banging on about that again - and the chair upon which I sat, which was a functional wooden one with four steel legs.  I haven't taken a photo, and can't be bothered to go off and take one, so use this as an opportunity to use your imagination.

Not that much -

     It did the job, if nothing more.  This morning I was surprised to get a call from WW in Royton, though probably not as surprised as she was that I could actually operate my own Devil's Digital Distraction.  There was a chair there - which is now here.  Art?

£5 well spent

     It's on castors, so your humble scribe can scoot around the room to change position and posture; rather dangerously attempted in the kitchen, due to the smooth surface that allows you to rocket about at speed.  There is an hydraulic buffer, too, so that my colossal bulk will probably not cause catastrophic damage straight away.
     And after that look at domestic bliss within The Mansion, let us cast the motley into a pool of molten <thinks> boron!

Well Well - What The -*
Bitten on the nethers by the Coincidence Hydra AGAIN.  If you can cast your mind back over the past week, I've been banging on about a very interesting book called "Tank Action" by David Render, about his post-D-Day campaigning as the commander of a troop of Sherman tanks.  Art?

The edition I have

     At one point "A" Squadron, of which he was a part, carried out an indirect shoot, acting as artillery.  He calculated afterwards that they expended 9 tons of ammunition; I doubt this is the sort of thing that the long-barrelled high-velocity guns of Teuton panzers such as the Tiger or Panther can do, and it's also proof of Allied logistical superiority - a theme we shall get back to.
     "Where's the coincidence, then?" I hear you query.  "We like seeing your arse get gnashed by the Hydra, but we haven't seen it yet."
     PATIENCE!

No, Art, no.  Nice try, though.

     I have also been harping on about Nick Moran (a.k.a. "The Chieftain's Hatch on Youtube" and his experiments in getting out of a tank in a hurry.  The one that was easiest by far was the humble Sherman; you pull a clip down, the hatch springs open (literally, because it's on springs) and you leap out in less than a second.  Art?

     And what's this in the comments?   A whole lot of 'Wehraboos' disputing Nick's stats about the survivability of Sherman crews, which were the best in the European theatre - BECAUSE IT WAS EASY TO GET OUT OF.
     Oh, and this.  Art?

Three lines down at the beginning

     EGAD!  That Hydra has sharp teeth.  I only remember him having to bale out of one tank; oh dear that means I'll have to re-read it again.**  

So That's What They're For!
I did wonder.  And get your squalid minds out of the gutter, I've just told you that BOOJUM! is SFW.  It would be easier if I were to explain this with pictures, so - Art?

A Matilda infantry tank

     Note those two large lugs on the front of the hull.  I had no idea what they were for, except possibly towing the tank if it got immobilised.  Now I have definite proof of what they were for.  Art?

Explicated!

     For securely shackling your tank during transit.  These hulls, absent the turret, probably weigh in twenty tons so if they were unshackled and began to start sliding about during transport, they'd take an awful lot of stopping.

Well, that's quite enough about tanks for one post.  What shall we witter on about now?

Ah Yes - A Pool Full Of Molten Silver
This is what we chucked the motley into yesterday.  Now, with no idea of what the motley is, let alone what it looks like, it would need extensive fireproof insulation in that pool -
     We are assuming a 20,000 gallon pool here, and the first thing is that filling it with silver would be <ahem> rather expensive - £26 million, rounding down a bit for a bulk discount.
     The second thing is that you would need some really, really powerful heating to render the silver molten, in fact heating capable of reaching nearly 10000C, so your electricity bill would be pretty staggering, too.  Hence the need for an asbestos suit for the motley.***

What the well-dressed motley wears to swim

*  No vulgarities here, still SFW
**  Reading military history for fun.  What a hard life.
***  Yes, yes, asbestos is deadly dangerous.  YOU'RE THROWING THE MOTLEY INTO A POOL OF MOLTEN METAL AT 9610C!  Show some perspective.