Well, Now, Pilgrims ...

Let Me Introduce You To A Talking Bun
     Hmm, perhaps "Gurgling" would be closer to the truth.

Not a thing of beauty - but cheap

     Compacted beneath that burger bun is a Chicken Kiev, "Sell By Date" being 15th of July meaning it's matured just right.  When Conrad bit into it's cousin, he tore open the pocket concealing the butter sauce, and every time he squeezed, the bun wheezed.
     It might put lesser mortals off - but not Conrad!  That bun could recite Shakespeare, Omar Khayyam and the best of Bob Dylan - it's still gonna get et!

"Pudsey The Dog The Movie"
     Seen on a bus poster this morning, of course Conrad the curmudgeon scowled balefully at it, feeling that it cast a metaphorical shadow over a beautiful beginning to the day.

The miscreant in question

     This risks a telling-off from Anna, that well-known animal lover, especially if the animal in question just happens to be a dog.  Conrad - he does not care, rebel that he is.
     And - why elaborate about the "Dog" bit?  Conrad is unaware of alternative Pudseys, such as <thinks hard> "Pudsey The Boa Constrictor" (Tagline "He has a crush on you!") or "Pudsey The Animated Piece Of Coal" (Tagline: "He's hot stuff!") or "Pudsey The Serial-Killer Teddy Bear" (Tagline:"DON'T go down to the woods today!") or -<Mister Hand gallantly intervenes in the interests of brevity and good taste> - okay, okay - and when I was on a roll, too -

"Apotheosis"
     Yes, I know, sorry, one of those words that popped up in my head this afternoon.  
     What does it mean?  Rather than guess wrongly, such as it meant having leeches stuck upon your person by an apothecary, Conrad exercised his Google-fu.
     It means to raise something to a divine or god-like level, either in theology* or the arts, including both music and painting.
     Now, humble as Conrad is, BOOJUM! would definitely benefit if you, the dear reader, would apotheosise the blog a bit.  Tell your friends!  Mention it on Twitter!
     Don't worry, I won't get a swollen head (being an hideous alien cyborg I have an emergency release valve that deals with that).

Conrad before he dons his human skin.  Note the emergency release valve at upper left

James Garner  R.I.P.
     I am sure you will have read the sad news about James Garner's death this week.  Conrad has not seen many of his films, bar "The Great Escape"**, "Support Your Local Sherrif", "A Man Named Sledge" and that one where he's a spy on a submarine mission in the Pacific.  Nor has he seen a single episode of "Maverick".  Is it available on DVD?  Conrad will enquire further.
     Of course I have seen "The Rockford Files", but not all of them, and in fact probably not that many, but they are classy television.  They had a great cast, they were well written and James put heart and soul into them.  When he came back to make a series of movies of the ' Files in the 1980's, all the old cast reprised their roles***, which says something of how they felt about the programme and Jim.

Smiley Jim Rockford

     What is less well known is James' battles with the studios.  He left "Maverick" over a dispute with Warner Brothers, which might well have ended his career, except his popularity remained high and they even pitched him into their films.  His second battle was with Universal Studios over their failure to pay him what they owed.  Conrad remembers reading about this at the time, with James saying that the studio presented accounts showing that the 'Files were a huge financial failure - of which he believed not one word.  This dispute went on for eight years and Universal finally settled out of court - with the legal requirement that James couldn't say how much they gave him.
     Well he's not around to keep his lips sealed, so we may yet find out how much they got taken for.  Hopefully lots^!

"Let Us Go Forward Together"
     Conrad has shone his bitter and vinegarish eye on this poster before, to lambast whoever put the background montage together.  This is the poster:

Those tanks - Vickers MkIII Mediums - NO!

     What catches his eye today is that bold pronunciation.  Think about it:

"Let us go forward together"

     What did the brainstormers come up with before that?

"Let us crab sideways a bit"

     Not a classic line, is it?  Or -

"Let us stumble clumsily around and trip over our shoelaces"

     That's not going to inspire the masses, is it?  Maybe

"Let us try some silly walks and pretend to be John Cleese"

     Not only uninspiring but anachronistic!  One can imagine Mr Churchill's response if the writers had come to him with any of these.

     Okay, rant over, let's move on.

What's Going On Here?

     Well, gentle reader, Conrad appeared to be inspired by his digital watch displaying "9:56", as it is a reversible number that reads the same upside down.  Moreover, for an old man stricken with the palsy, he seems to have moved pretty quickly here as both shots took only 8 seconds.

*  The study of religion.  Nothing to do with "o". Or "Theo".
**  You cannot claim to be English unless you have seen this film.  Fact.
***  Except Noah Beery, because he was dead, which is a pretty good excuse
^  And don't forget they had 8 years of legal fees to pay out, too.  Lawyers the winners ...