BOOJUM! The Scapegrace - All Over The Place

Yes, A Bit Of A Melange Tonight
     This is what comes of having pieces left over from your Font Of Inspiration* going back several days.  What you get is a palimpsest of annotations and scribblings that might be blog-worthy or which might be mere blather.  Allow me to give you some insight into Conrad's creative process (don't worry, it's Safe For Work):

Impressive, yes?

      This may be why people do not sit next to Conrad on the bus; he's always frowning and writing things down in a little booklet.  Doubtless other bus passengers fear that it's "Conrad's Little Black Book Of People He's Going To Murder (Horribly) Today".
     Which is entirely incorrect.



     Conrad's going to murder them tomorrow ...

"Superhero"
     Those with sharp eyes may have spotted this in the list of drivel above, and were wondering quite what it meant.  After all, is not one of Conrad's major occupations the reading of comic books, which not infrequently feature - superheroes?
     Why yes it is, but!  This post has nothing to do with spandex, capes and underpants worn outside the trousers.  Oh no.
     Er - it was actually to do with Fairbourne Water, who offered staff at The Electric Golfish Bowl a chance to have their photograph taken, and then have it jazzed up, and get a free bottle of water to boot.
     Conrad, on reading the e-mail, could scarcely believe his luck.  This kind of opportunity crops up at the Manchester Comic Con, but you have to queue and pay for it - this was free!
     So, with all that intro, let us introduce - hang on, hadn't thought of a name - hmmm - 

Unfortunately the cuirass emphasises Conrad's rather protuberant stomach

     I know, I'll let my loyal and tasteful audience come up with a name.  I can hardly wait!

Do Not Blench At Wench In Trench
     "Wench in Trench" - what an excellent Twitter name!  A lady with an interest in the Great War, I hasten to explain, not that she is a kind of trogolodyte in garters.
     Sue, who am the wench in question, decided to follow Conrad on Twitter, so he repaid the favour and she is even at this moment regretting it.  

https://twitter.com/wenchintrench

  is the Twitter site.  As she says, for 2014 the attempt is to raise money for a memorial to nurses and VADs present in the Great War.
     "VAD" is "Voluntary Aid Detachment" you dirty-minded rascals!
     Do not confuse "Wenchintrench" with the Royal Engineers website, "Wrenchintrench", nor with the Royal Army Service Corps website, "Winchintrench"

Nor, indeed, a Grinch in a clinch

Chocolate Cake
     Really, Conrad's colleagues are the most inhibited people not only under the sun, but under the moon, the stars and any local supernovae going.  None of them ever bother to say "Will you make such-and-such a cake for me?"
     Note that it is not necessary to even add "please".  It helps, but it's not really necessary.  Conrad, he has thick skin.
     So, Conrad reeled and nearly fell off his bamboo chaise-longue at work last week when Sophie** asked if he'd make something either "chocolatey" or "coffeeish" this week.
     So chocolate orange cake it is.  Currently baking in the oven; in fact after this post I had better go see how it's doing, having it burn would never do.

The cake after 10 minutes

     It doesn't look bad.  Since the next stage is to cover it with ganache, which requires double cream, and we don't have any double cream left, and the cake has to be completely cool before you can apply the ganache, any more articles about this cake will be on tomorrow's blog.

"Residuum"
     Chortling with pseud literary glee, Conrad was able to use this word in an e-mail at work yesterday for the first time in nearly forty years.  Consider it the plural of "residue".  Conrad remembers it - thank you Oscar*** - from a book on cryptology he read back in his teenage years, where it gave three words with an "-uum" ending - Vacuum, Continuum and Reiduum.
     Here endeth today's lesson in english.

"Kinky Boots"
     No!  Not the bizarre single sung by Patrick MacNee and Honor Blackman.  

See!  Conrad speak truth.

The film. The film?  About a failing shoe-ware firm that attempts to turn it's fortunes around by making shoes for the - not sure how to put this - men's fetish market.
     Conrad has been advised by one who knows that women's shoes really do not cope well if being worn by 15 stone drag artistes; they need something a bit more robust, especially if the drag artiste is being a bit liberal with the truth and actually tips the scales at 19 stone ...
     Why is this relevant?  Well, Conrad remembers seeing this very same company, with the drag queen in question, in a BBC news article, trying to promote their wares at an Italian fashion show many years ago.  The boots in question were very long, shiny and either rubber or latex but assuredly kinky.
     Score one for British export success!

Damn!  They turned it into a musical - now Conrad has no choice but to HATE IT!

Finally
     A word of warning. It is Becca's birthday do on Friday, and since Conrad will be going there straight from work, not returning home until <cough cough> o'clock, it is unlikely that BOOJUM! will be posting on the 18th.



*  A notebook. But "Font of Inspiration" sounds better.
**  Sophie, the glamourous understudy and wise lady on anything to do with cakes
***  Oscar.  Remember? Conrad's anthropomorphised memory?  O I give up.