Welcome - To A Subculture You Never Knew Of

No!  I Don't Mean Wargaming
     Although I could probably bore for the UK on the subject - you never knew about the different scales, did you?  Conrad bets you thought it was all 1/35th 54mm scale, didn't you, and laughs at your bafflement that scales like 1/300 6mm exist -
 -     which is getting off the subject matter a little.  What subculture can I possibly mean?
     Flight Training News!

It's about - Flight Training!
(which doesn't really merit an exclamation mark)

     When Conrad worked at Connexions, one of his guilty pleasures was reading the issues of FTN that got delivered to the office, although it quite escapes me why they got delivered.  Remember that MP Lembert Opik?  He used to write a column for them.  The back page would have amusing anecdotes about pilots and flying, and there'd be reviews of flight training schools, training offered, new flying regulations, new models of aircraft, and an extensive analysis of one or two dire accidents involving flight training.
     If this has whetted your appetite and you feel compelled to become a pilot - wait!  Getting a pilot's licence for a multi-engine passenger aircraft cost £32,000 last time Conrad looked, and that was several years ago.  You'd probably be looking at £35,000 by now, which is why most pilots get their training paid for by the airline they work for.

Personally, I Blame The French
     Not only do they come over here and cycle on our roads, they began the whole "Let's not be stick-in-the-mud earthies" trend that has resulted in a significant proportion of mankind taking to the skies.
     Hom. Sap., I give you - The Montgolfier Brothers!
     No, they aren't a circus act!  They invented the hot-air balloon, thank you, and really made a go of it, with manned flights that went for miles.  Their father was en-nobled thanks to royal recognition.

The Montgolfier balloon - er - or a descendant 250 years later

Continuing The French Theme
     Were Conrad to say "Merovingian", those of you with extensive pop culture experience and who have watched "The Matrix" and sequels would recognise this chap:

Shoot me for the stereotype of a Frenchman with a glass of wine

     WRONG!  Go to the back of the class and assume the default position for "Wrong". Legs wider!  hands further apart!
     Let that be a lesson to you.  "Merovingian", as wot any cultured person would know, refers to a French dynasty that lasted until the eighth century, derived from "Merovech", which is Old French for "Son of Mero".  Most famous Merovingian was Clovis the First.

Still Banging On About The French
     The Merovingians were ousted by the Carolingians, which name is Old French for "Descendant of Charles", and the most famous Carolingian was Charlemagne, which means "Charles the Great".  He was great because he mananged to forcibly bash and hold together what would nowadays be both France and Germany, no mean feat I'm sure you'll agree.  He was crowned Emperor in 800 AD.


Military Intelligence
     Busy reading the interesting, if occasionally numbingly number-laden "With Our Backs To The Wall*", Conrad came across a mention of MI7.
     "Hold hard!" he said - silently, for he was on the bus, and is already worried about people not sitting next to the white-haired nutter with a notepad and I-pod - "Hold hard!" - that's not to say I said it twice, just that there was a dramatic break and I thought I'd better re-start - "Hold hard!" <see previous sentence> "I am familiar with MI5 and MI6, but what is this MI7?"
     Did you know that there existed up to MI19?  MI13 and MI18 weren't used, the former because of superstition, obviously - obviously! - and the latter - er - nope, no idea why not.

Charlemagne.  Actually he had a very good sense of humour, so this was probably painted first thing Monday morning

     Is this relevant?  Not especially as BOOJUM! is above the sordid reality of current affairs, but MI1 is now known as Government Communications HQ .....

MIB.  Close enough

Tabloid Tat
     In his never-ending quest to find interesting, illuminating, instructive, indispensable and any other "I" word of a positive bent, Conrad has recently taken up looking at the "Metro", a free newspaper present on GM** buses.  There's nothing in there that Auntie Beeb doesn't do just as well, although Conrad did cast a prejudiced optic over the sections entitled "Guilty Pleasures" and "The Green Room".
     We are now perilously close to Current Affairs - but bear with Conrad, he does have a point to make.

NO!  Wrong Point!  Go to the back of the class and assume the "wrong" position!

     "The Green Room" can be summed up briefly - "tabloid tat in tiny type", which is actually a novel approach to the gossip/scandal/celebrity puffing^ that constitutes "Guilty Pleasures".
   That section follows what Conrad long ago recognised at Tabloid Tat-Format - big photographs, with big headlines, that take up lots of room and so leave very little space for the vanishingly-content free articles.  That clever chap Al Murray tweets every so often about "not news" and the contents of anything following the Tabloid Tat Format are very much that:  unremarkable observations or speculations that wouldn't be given a picosecond's attention were it not for the fact that those featured are celebrities.
     Alleged celebrities.  Conrad didn't recognise any of them.  He may still read this section, because - ah - because he needs to be up on celebs for the Pub Quiz photo round. Yeah.  That. 

Nina Simone. 
A true celebrity***

*  No!  Not about a bunch of homophobes!  About the end of WW1 in 1918.
**  Not "Genetically Modified": Greater Manchester.  Honestly, next you'll be going on about the neutrino's mutating ...
*** Her "Little Girl Blue" is possibly the only song in recorded history that reduces Conrad to a blubbering, maudlin heap - but let's keep that between ourselves, eh?
^ A "puff" is a flattering bit of snivelling adoration paid for by an agent, pretending to be impartial journalism.