You Know You're Middle-Aged When:
1) You get childishly excited about your new Kenwood Ice Cream Maker
2) Your mobile died a week ago and you never noticed
3) You write your clocking-in times in a diary instead of Outlook
4) You associate the word "Kindle" with something to be thrown on a fire
5) You don't recognise any single-name "Celebrities" on the BBC's "Entertainment" page
6) You do simple arithmetic faster than the youths around you (they don't have the app!)
7) Your pile of Books To Be Read, stacked one atop the other, is higher than your house
8) You realise that, sadly, you are never going to make it as an astronaut - ever
9) Your savings account is actually a scruffy tin pot containing £2,500 in cash
10) Some kind soul gives up their seat on the tram for you :(
On the plus side, I am now past my half-century, mostly corpus intact, so yah booh sucks to those who said I'd never reach 30!
RIght, I am off, trembling with glee, to put an ice cream mix into <cont. Page 96>
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