The Cars Hiss By My Window -

 - mainly because the road outside is wet, thanks to the rain that has also encouraged a silent army of mucus-shedding slugs to emerge into the darkness.  I encountered these slimy urchins on the way back home from the pub quiz (no win tonight!  Daughter's boyfriend is a quiz curse!).

The Grand Architect and Designing the Limax
I feel that God must have forgotten about the slug after designing it as the Snail, Mark One. 

"I want a small, slimy creature that coasts along on it's belly.  Purpose in life: to consume excess vegetation.  Hmmm.  Lookee.  Well, that's pretty disgusting.  I know!  Give it a hat.  There.  A far higher Cute Quotient than something resembling an ambulatory turd.  Now - ' except at this point the Grand Architect's attention is caught by one of his practical jokes escaping into the wild.  He then forgets to backspace and delete the slug.  End result: the duck-billed platypus and slugs.

Redundancy, Alcohol and The Future Of Food Labelling
I notice that Kopparberg are labelling one of their countless flavoured ciders as "apple cider".  OXYMORON!  By definition cider is made from apples.  If you want to extend this vapid classification further, Perrier (are they still going? Googles, yes they are, phew, strained anecdote doesn't collapse instantly) - where was I?  Oh - yes - Perrier will be marketing their wares as "Bottled H2O Water", Galaxy will call their bars "Cocoa solid Chocolate Bars" and MacDonalds will be selling "Mechanically Recovered Meat Burgers".

Quiver in fear, multi-nationals, at the satire of BOOJUM! 



"We don't give a rat's ass, Booj."