We're Going To Use An Analogy
As you may be aware, there is a certain frisson to life in Modern-day Mordor at the moment, especially if you live in the Kursk or Bilhorod oblasts. "Bilhorod", by the way, is the Ukrainian variant of "Belgorod". I'll use it from now on to annoy the Ruffian authorities. Art!
This, just as a tangent, is the battlefield at Kursk in July of 1943. What you see here are knocked-out or abandoned Sinister T-34s, and a Teuton Sturmgeschutz III rolling by in the background. The fighting is nowhere near here or the Teuton crew wouldn't be sunning themselves on top of their assault gun WHICH IS NOT A TANK. Ahem. Art!
81 years later, here's another Teuton AFV, a 'Marder' Infantry Fighting Vehicle, cruising about the lanes of Kursk.
Allow me to go back even further in time, to June 21st 1941, when Herr Schickelgruber's Nazi nation and Carbuncle Joe's Sinister Union were the very best of pals. The Royal Navy had a blockade that was intended to strangle the German stranglehold on Occupied Europe, except all that oil and grain and ore from the Sinister Union was keeping the Teuton economy and industry going. Art!
The hilarious thing is that neither dictator trusted the other as far as they could wee, Stalin thinking that he was far more clever than the Austrian Corporal, and Hitler being very very angry at the Sinister's gobbling up Eastern European territory that he perceived as, if not quite 'his', then being in his sphere of influence*.
All this fake bonhomie vanished on 22nd June 1941, when the Teutons and their allies launched 'Operation Barbarossa', one of the biggest military operations ever. Art!
This invasion, described as the equivalent of a medium-sized nuclear attack, came catastrophically out of the blue for Stalin, despite him being repeatedly warned by his own intelligence services and those of Perfidious Albion. He chose to ignore them because - chorus it again - he was so much cleverer than Herr Schickelgruber.
The nature and structure of the Sinister Union made this surprise attack all the more devastating, because Stalin controlled ALL the levers of power. He was the spider at the centre of the web, as it were, and nobody dared do anything without his express approval. Art!
This is his Moscow dacha, where he had a week-long pity party for himself about how wicked Schickelgruber had been the cleverer one all along, boo hoo, pass the hankies, my life is an ashen hollow.
Unfortunately for the Sinister Union, their Teuton (and Finnish and Romanian and Italian and Hungarian and Spanish) invaders were not bothered one whit by this stab in the back volte-face, and kept on advancing whilst the Sinister Army waited for orders.
This is a constitutional hazard for autocratic despots; they control and centralise all power into their hands, and if they suffer a paralysis of fear, then so does their state. Art!
Enter Putinpot. Normally Charlie Chipmunk Cheeks is all over the media but not at the moment. He's been seen attending a meeting with Shoigu (dubbed 'the man most at risk of windows'), Bortnikov (dubbed 'the other man most at risk of windows'), Belousev and Gerasimov. Belousev has no military background at all, deliberately, so he's not a threat to Bloaty Gas Tout, and Gerasimov could be replaced by Kermit, who would do a better job. All during the meeting Puffy-Phaced Petrol Pimp looked as if he had toothache in his anus. Or, the broken-glass sandwich he ate earlier was working it's way through him.
He did another broadcast where he mumbled about vague events happening and happenings that were going to eventually happen, and that's it. Art!
There's no way he can spin this as being 'according to plan' or that it's part of the Special Idiotic Operation, which is probably why he's keeping out of sight. Being associated with failure it not a good look for a dictator. He will also be getting ever more frightened about a jet-propelled window catching up with him. Dog Buns, I wouldn't like to be the hapless minion who taste-tests his food and drink!
The sad truth for The Little Tsar is that the Ukranians have taken more territory in 2 days than Ruffia has in 6 months, at a fraction of a fraction of the cost. Expect more squealing for a ceasefire, pilgrims.
Some People's Hobbies -
One of the people I follow on Twitter is 'AfricanStalingrad', an ex-British Army officer who is passionately interested in the campaign in Tunisia from late 1942 to May 1943. He has, of course - obviously! - a man-cave crammed to bursting with books, maps, files and folders, and he regularly goes out to Tunisia to walk the land of the old battlefields. The locals think he's bonkers, another eccentric Englishman poking around in the dirt. Art!
One of the maps he has. The penmanship on here is immaculate, and I say that as one who regularly wields a fountain pen. In case you can't read the lettering, most of the comments are about how bad or impassable the going will be due to surface water, flooding and mud. As I Commented, that's typical of North Africa; you're either chronically short of water or there's too much of the Dog Buns! stuff.
Poetically Apt
Once again we touch on current affairs, and things tangential to Pumpkinhead, whom, as you may be aware, appears to be having a full-on mental breakdown in real time, which he has thoughtfully paraded in front of the press. Art!
Errrm yes, about that - Not only does this generate bad publicity for fans of Mister Dion, it is also likely to lead to litigation about it.
And - really? A campaign marked by a Vice President nominee having <REDACTEDREDACTEDREDACTED> settee, and a Prez candidate who cannot speak coherently or admit that 'Kambala' was a typo? The one thing I would NOT associate yourselves with is the 'Titanic'. Art!
Behold, a metaphor!
Conrad Is Watching
No, not you, silly! Netflix. In fact I've not watched any Netflix since before we went over to cable, as noted by the fact that I had to log on with the new ID and password last night.
Well, having done that I needed to follow through and watch something, so I chose the "3 Body Problem". Art!
It's significantly different from the first novel, which yes I have read, in that it shifts a lot of the action to This Sceptred Isle, which is fair enough as it'll pull in more viewers. The bits set in China for Episode One chime very well with the novel, except the dogged incorruptible Chinese detective is now British and played by BENEDICT WONG! who is always a plus. Art!
Ben
They may have changed stuff around but remain true to the central premise. Doubtless there will be more feedback on this o'er time.
Proof That We Are Living In The Future
Boston Dynamics started something. We have mentioned 'robot dogs' here at BOOJUM! when we come across them, and I think the last time was when The Populous Dictatorship's army was using them in training.
Well, those canny Ukrainians have one-upped them, because they are now using them for reconnaissance. Art!
Here you see Fido heading out, underneath his (or her) very own miniature camouflage cape. Note 'dog handler' to port. Art!
And back they come. Not sure what you'd give a robot as a treat.
ANYWAY as you can see they are small and sneaky, able to patrol and enter confined spaces that Hom. Sap. cannot, and with their camo-cape to break up their outline, a lot harder to spot than their 'dog handler' would be. The next step would be to arm them, at which point - Art!
Hmmmmm yes you can live too much in the future.
Finally -
Conrad is not at all sure about this weather. Rain, sun, now cloud, all whilst being stiflingly hot. Bring on the thunderstorms!
* The Baltic states and part of Romania
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