Once Again, Let Us Be Painfully Literal
Because anything metaphorical or off-course or tangential might be the Crime Of Spam, which causes the internet to implode and the sun to go supernova or something like that. It certainly causes the FB mods to suffer a constrictive underwear moment.
So, what I mean is an event that results in a cascade of increasingly serious consequences. Art!
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| How it starts |
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| How it ends |
You might compare it to the aphorism about mighty oak trees and acorns, except that takes decades and decades, and we're on a schedule here.
So! This Intro concerns a bike, of a brand known as a 'Beach cruiser' for reasons that escape me. Original Poster was offered a decrepit, unused and moss-covered iteration of one of these by his cousin, after his own mountain bike had been stolen. Art!
It was not in good condition, so OP put a bit of elbow grease into it. To wit:
1) Cleaned the mud and moss off it
2) Covered paint chips with nail polish
3) Sprayed the chain with WD40
4) Tightened the gears
5) De-rusted the chrome
6) Added a kickstand obtained from a bike shop bin
7) Added new grips
Total cost less than $10, or £6 in proper money. It was a cheap and reliable method of OP getting to work, or at least it was until his cousin saw him riding it and transformed into Bottomhole Relative, because he couldn't believe how good the bike looked.
Next thing you know, he's demanding either $60 from OP or the bike gets returned so he can sell it. Art!
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| Right on |
Things obviously didn't end there. OP posted his situation on Reddit, which got back to Evil Bottomhole Cousin, who was now in a state of even higher dudgeon. He confronted OP on his way home from work, demanded $80 as compensation for being slandered and defamed the poor darling, and when OP refused, punched him to the floor and stole the bike.
Bad move. This assault took place in a high street, where there were both witnesses and CCTV. After OP had called the cops, they checked the camera footage and - arrested EBC. Who had the bike in his apartment, already trying to sell it. Art!
It gets worse (it can always get worse). Not only did EBC have to surrender up the bike, he was found to have been drinking and this is one of those South Canadian states where you have to be over 21 to legally drink. So he was going to be charged with theft, assault and underage drinking.
His parents came to visit OP and were extremely apologetic, explaining that EBC had been asking for money a lot of late, and were wondering why, exactly. Art!
It gets worse (it can always get worse). EBC, having been in jail for a couple of days, got fired for no-show. So he lost his job as this was the last in a string of lateness, bad behaviour and not turning up at all. His parents also discovered that he was behind on rent and about to be evicted. They agreed to let him stay with them. Not in his old room, though. No, he had to stay in the loft over their garage, in summer, with no A/C. Art!
Something in EBC's brain seems to have been broken, since he came around to OP's apartment and threatened him, whilst trying to kick the door down, all whilst being recorded. The threat of police drove him off, and OP went to get a Restraining Order
It gets worse (it can always get worse). EBC went to his trial and plead guilty to charges of assault, theft, underage drinking and harassment, after his lawyer persuaded him that pleading not guilty and going to trial would be guaranteed to end in a GUILTY verdict with a much heavier sentence. There was simply too much irrefutable evidence against him. So he got three months in the county jail, plus two years probation and <drum roll cymbal clash> anger management classes. Art!
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| Not an office building. The County Jail. |
Possibly the most humiliating part of all was the letter of apology his parents forced him to write to OP, because otherwise he'd not even get the loft over their garage.
Once he gets out of jail he is literally back to square one, with no job - and having prison time makes getting one a lot harder - no possessions as they were all sold to settle mysterious 'debts', no money and a garage loft to call home.
All this for a bike that OP enquired of a bike shop about and was informed would get no more than $40. That, gentle reader, is the tale of a snowball! Art?
The Devil On My Shoulder
Conrad entertained you yesteryon (I hope) with a short item about the "SHADO Technical Operations Manual", which I jibbed at paying £73 for.
Out of curiosity, I checked out the official Gerry Anderson website and it's merchandising, to see if there was any information about how many pages it had and what size it was. I found out and then some. Art!
S.H.A.D.O. is the second release in the Technical Operations Manuals' range.
and Dog Buns! did I get a surprise. Art!
O dearie me, this makes it a lot more tempting. Art!
These pikers will never get a single penny of my business.
"The War Illustrated Edition 191"
This edition came out in October and contains stories and pictures from August, when 'The Great Swan' was on, into September, when Operation Market Garden was being 90% successful according to Monty. Art!
This is one of Tito's Partisans, the Communist organisation that successfully managed to liberate Yugoslavia from Axis occupation, before the Sinisters arrived. This meant Yugoslavia was never a Sinister puppet state and it postively relished it's non-aligned status.
The blurb mentions help provided by the Royal Navy, who would provide transport and escorts for moving up the Dalmatian coast, and naval gunfire support if needed. It also mentions the RAF, who were based only on the other side of the Adriatic, and who could be called on and in to provide air support for the Partisans. Tito didn't need an air force, he had one already provided.
Notice that this partisan is equipped with a Teuton machine gun, which was typical of these fighters; they used captured equipment a lot.
When The Sound Of Freedoom
- comes with a sonic boom.
No, this is nothing to do with the film "Sound Of Freedom". Didn't you notice the stretched last syllable? Okay, Art!
These are F-16 fighter jets 'Somewhere in Ukraine' and do you know what? The Ukrainians haven't shot down their own aircraft, which is a thing the Ruffians loudly and proudly proclaim, because shooting down their own jets is somehow less embarrassing than having to admit it was the Ukes.
There are currently 10 of these in-country with more to come. Too small a number to make a big difference. Yet. Wait until the next 75 arrive. Tee hee!
To Finish With A Bang
Mount Etna, which has been rumbling and grumbling threateningly, is now erupting in a beautiful but deadly display. Here's an image courtesy of the BBC. Art!
At times like these the locals reflect on their decision to stay close to the fiery mountain.
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