BOOJUM!: An Olympian Perspective

Once Again, A Little Circumspection

There is currently a sporting event going on which has it's title derived from the Greek, which I'm not going to name in case the Facebook twod mods decide that I'm spamming the world and delete another post.

Okay - where did the gods of ancient Greece hang out? Mount Olympus, of course - obviously! - and if Art will do his thing -

CAUTION! Property taxes and insurance are sky-high

For yes, we are back on "The Aeneid" again. The gods of Olympus come into the equation as they are always interfering in the affairs of men, specifically Aeneas. This is partly because of prophecies concerning his future, which threaten Carthage (the godess Juno's most beloved city), and his mother, who was Venus. Believe me, if your mum is the Godess of Love, you have a very heavy hitter on your side. Her yin, if you will, counteracts Juno's yang, otherwise TA would be a very short epic poem.

ANYWAY Juno sends Iris to inform Turnus, leader of an army hostile to Aeneas and his ally Evander, that Ol' Aeny is far off, away visiting potential allies. Art!

Actually 'Hera' in Greek mythology. Let's not get into that.

This act is typical of Juno's meddling from her lofty vantage point; see all, hear all and stick your thirty-foot oar in when you feel like it.

So, with this god-like equivalent of the Enigma code, Turnus rouses his army and allies and prepares to attack the Trojans.

HOWEVER - first use today - Aeneas is not only a mighty warrior, he is also a sound tactician and strategist. Art!

There is no adequate single picture, so two will have to do. You recall, I hope, that the fleet of Trojan refugees had arrived on the coast of Italy after many wanderings. They had drawn up their ships on the shoreline and then, as per recommended practice, constructed a military encampment. The translation mistakenly calls it a 'city'; no, it was not. It was a large military camp with defensive ramparts, gates, palisades (guessing but reasonable), ditches, sentries and patrols. It was thus a field fortification that would require siege warfare to reduce.

Here an aside. The medieval and Renaissance artworks that depict this part of "Book 9" are useless, as they depict military fortifications of their time, not that of 750 BC. Art!

They also mis-understood 'city'

So, the army of the Rutuli (the enemies of Evander and thus Aeneas) led by Turnus roll up like a tornado in front of the Trojan camp, at which point Juno is probably rubbing her beautiful yet bloody hands in glee. I say 'tornado' advisedly, because this event most surely takes place in summer; the advancing horde thus throws up a dust-cloud that the alert Trojan sentries spot. They recall everyone inside the ramparts, close and bar the gates and man the walls. Art!

Wise chap

Aeneas, you see, had given very strict orders that, should the camp be attacked whilst he was gone, the Trojans were NOT to offer open battle but to remain strictly on the defensive. According to the narrative of Virgil, this kind of tactic was almost anathema to the Trojans, who deemed it honourable to face off against an enemy and indulge in an all-out battle.

Juno thwarted, at least temporarily! For the Rutulians had also anticipated a single glorious engagement that they would win thanks to weight of numbers, armament, chariots and cavalry. Turnus, for one, was extremely angry at not being able to get at the enemy and rode around the camp, alternately raging and mocking.

Devoid of any siege engines, the Rutulians were forced by necessity to carry out a circumvallation of the camp - that is, they surrounded it. Art!

A slightly more modern equivalent

Virgil notes that " - the guards kept awake by gaming the night away."

So this has become a siege, where the defenders have to either outlast their enemy or risk a pitched battle. However - second use today - the besiegers also have problems, because their forces need supplying with food and water, and must keep watch for a relief force, which Aeneas will surely raise. Leaving the watch to their guards, they imbibe a lot of wine and go to sleep.

This is unwise, because having interfered once, Juno doesn't bother to come back and check on her meddling.

More to follow.

"The Long Goodbye"

Yes, I've finished reading it. However - third time today - I've not finished detailing all the annotations I made, which you are very definitely going to hear about. At one point in the narrative, Bernie Ohls, the closest thing Marlowe has to an old friend, details a list of slang names for drugs, to wit -

BLUEJAYS: Which is slang for Sodium Amytal. I have no idea what it does, so allow me to Google a little. Art!

Hmmm so it's a barbituate, thus a sedative, and long-term use (or abuse!) may result in dependency and potentially fatal withdrawal symptoms. There's also a list of at least 20 different drugs contra-indicated for users, including quinine, so no gin and tonic for you, matey.

REDBIRDS: Or Seconal, whatever that may be. Art!

Aha. Another barbituate, with all the attendant problems associated with the bluejays. Plus a list of potential side effects eighteen items long, and withdrawal effects that once again include death.

YELLOWJACKETS: Nembutal. Probably another barbituate. Let's check. Art!

Yep. Once again no longer in use, being replaced by benzodizepanes. In addition to all the side-effects and withdrawal symptoms noted above, it is also used for lethal injections for prisoners sentenced to death. Yike.

GOOFBALLS: Ohls didn't give a brand name for these, merely that they were barbituates mixed with benzedrine, so a powerful sedative with a powerful stimulant. This is not a good combination, in case you were unaware. Art!

And he was only thinking about taking them

Just Say NO! To S.H.A.D.O.

For those unaware, we have been in an undeclared war with aliens since the 1980's, being defended by a Beyond Top Secret organisation called S.H.A.D.O. which is the acronym for "Supreme Headquarters Alien Defence Organisation". It has a forward operating station on the Moon, called - you may be ahead of me here - Moonbase, and all kinds of exotic kit besides.

Well, if "U.F.O." were real, that is. Art!

Conrad was, of course, tempted, and had to check out the price.

£73 on Abebooks.

Hmmmm give it a year or two and some may turn up second-hand and cheaper.

But - I am tempted.

Small Earth Tremor In Royton, Nobody Bothered

I was poking through the small freezer atop the fridge, when I discovered another frozen pizza at the very bottom back, making three in total in that freezer, plus another giant one still in the fridge.

I forsee much pizza in the future. Which is no great problem.

Is Skynet Already Here?

If you have seen "Leave The World Behind" then you'll remember one of the creepier scenes, which features an army of crashed self-driving cars, all along one road. Art!

Well, there is a parallel in the real world as of right now. With Tesla cars, there is a phenomenon known as 'phantom acceleration' where they randomly accelerate until stopped by an object solid enough, with the driver being unable to brake. Art!