Cultosaurus Electus

You Can't Really Call This A Commission

Especially as I'm making it up as I go along - nothing new there - and we have to try and avoid the twod mods on Facebook deeming BOOJUM! to be trying to gain traffic by devious means and foul.  Which is our modus operandi and has been for Lo! these 11 years.

     ANYWAY if you approve, disapprove or couldn't give the decibel value of a baby gerbil's fart about things, then it's all Kirsty's fault.  She either encouraged or dared me today at our team meeting on Teams.  Art!

     This is about as tenuous a connection with the rest of the Intro as it's possible to get, being that it's about music and cults.  You'll see how I cleverly turn an album title into a reference for our Cult Comparisons, because we have two other guest stars: Donald Judas Trump and Taylor Swift.

     So.  DJ Tango, as you may be aware, is in the middle of his campaign to be Prez, which is overstating things wildly as he's barely bothered to go out on the stump.  Art!

     Here he is on Sunday last.  There's quite a few empty seats visible there, despite him being live on stage.  His election campaign staff usually claims that pictures of empty stadia or arenas are 'before he arrived onstage' as an reason/excuse/lie.  Any film or video of him will be very tightly focussed on him and from directly in front, with minimal background, because that way you won't see the empty seats.  Someone made a boo-boo here, as they ought to have chaperoned the MAGA members into all the seats behind the Farting Felon.  Art!

     Pumpkinhead also possesses a crowd-envy failing that Doctor Freud would find very interesting.  In reality it's because he cannot bear to ever come second or look bad or be a loser, so for the above picture he claimed it was all done with "AI", which accusation he made in print, because if he spoke it then he'd inevitably say "Al".

     The picture is from a video clip many seconds long that shows exactly what it appears to show: a crowd bigger than his.

     PATIENCE!  WE WILL GET TO SWIFT IN GOOD TIME!

     Indeed, the MAGA members of his cult tend not to show up at airports when he arrives, meaning he strolls down the exit stairway blithely waving to non-existent crowds.  Art!

"Boundless and bare,
All around the lone and level sands stretch far away"

     Not going to apologise for quoting "Ozymandias", which I can guarantee is the first time ever in connection with Agent Orange.  Yes yes yes I normally loathe poetry, that's an honourable exception.

     Where were we?

     O yes, ex-Prez Obama, speaking at the Democratic National Convention, made a cruel jest about his successor in the White House, mocking his obsession with crowd sizes and how little

     I TOLD YOU BE PATIENT!

     indirectly questioning how - er - 'manly' the Beer Barrel In A Suit is.  Art!

     This must cut Trump incredibly deep, because the reason he went into politics is because Obama roasted him mercilessly at a White House dinner back in 2015; Trump, who has no sense of humour, was enraged beyond reason and vowed to get his own back.

     I did mention he'd been denying his cult followers the benison of seeing his enormous sweating carcass on the campaign trail, which some observers wonder is due to being shot at and a reluctance to put his very large skin at risk.

     The truth is a little more mundane.  A lot of venues got stiffed by him in 2020 and refuse to allow him to use them until his outstanding bills are settled.

     NOW SWIFT!  SO STOP PESTERING!

     That was the 'Electus' part of the Intro.  How for another cult, one which has a global reach, is far larger than the MAGA crowd and which brings money, art and lower buffering rates to the community.  Art!

Taylor Swift.  She'll have you in stiches in no time.

     I had to look hard for a picture where she's wearing a lot.  Can't have titillation in BOOJUM!  DON'T keep bringing up that unclad female behind, that was a statue, which makes it art.

     ANYWAY Kirsty and her hubbo - whom she describes as akin to one of the dwellers in Middle-Earth whom have hairy feet - paid £alot to attend one of TS's concerts in Wembley Stadium.  The crowd in attendance were 92,000 strong - quick, cover Donald's eyes, he'll get jealous jitters! - and doing a rough calculation where the average ticket price was only (!) £100, that means she made £9,200,000 in box office takings.  Of course - obviously! - that's the gross, the net will be a lot less after all the overheads are taken out.  Say £5 million at a guesstimate.  Art!

Ignore the swimsuit!  Ignore the swimsuit!

     What's missing from this picture?  Empty seats.  The capacity of Wembley is 90,000, so there were extra people there.

     O, multiply that £5 million by eight, and then add another five, for all her UK concerts.  That's a tidy £65 million and that's not including any of the other European gigs, nor what she makes in merchandising.  Kirsty alleges that her London concerts boosted the local economy by £1 billion, which is not unreasonable if you break down the maths, as we at the blog are wont to do.  Altogether there were 736,000 concertgoers, who would need to spend £1,358 to get to ONE BILLION POUNDS.  Think of it: hotels, taxis, Ubers, pubs, clubs, restaurants, cafes, other tourist attractions and generic London souvenirs.

     I don't think she'll have a problem finding venues on her next UK tour.  Unlike some.

     On a side note, I don't have Kirsty's permission to put up a picture of her skirt, which is a subject for another day.

     O, and - 

     Just to tie things together.

     Whomever in the Trump camp put this together is going to get sued into living in a cardboard box under a bridge in Tijuana.

"The War Illustrated Edition 192 October 1944"

Yes, let's be utterly incongruous by contrast.  Art!

     These pictures show sappers removing demolition charges - allegedly 10,000 pounds of them - from Nijmegen Bridge, and stocking them up by the side of the road.  Once their fuses had been removed they'd be as harmless as the baulks of timber they resemble.  They were never detonated whilst the Teutons had possession of the bridge and the opportunity to do so, as they hoped to be able to use it to mount a counter-attack of their own.

Just - No.  NO!

Yes, there are a number of films that fall into the 'So bad they're good' camp, and most if not all of them are not summer tent-pole franchise blockbusters.  They tend to be done with a shoestring budget even if they have overweening ambition running through them.  Art!

     This one does not qualify.  It's "Batman and Robin" directed by that hack Joel Schumacher, who should have stuck to his named trade and made shoes, because this film is very definitely a load of old cobblers.  Starring George Clooney, who went on to have a career despite this; Chris O'Donnell, who didn't; and Alicia Silverstone, who vanished into obscurity and hasn't troubled a cinema screen for decades.

You What?

I saved this BBC News website sub-heading because it was undeniably bizarre, and I intend to check on it further when I get time.  Art!

     Are they using ChatGPT to create headlines, the lazy beggars?

Blogger Algorithm Goes Bonkers OR Conrad Is Wonderful

I would like to believe the latter yet it's almost certainly the former.  We do get to suffer this phenomenon every few months and I've never gotten to the bottom of it because it's rather flattering, actually.  Art!

     This is before I've done the evening re-pimp, which I had better go and do right now.

Finally -

Okay, so this is Friday's blog being constructed on a Wednesday, go me!