This Will Take A While To Develop
So sit down and pay attention. Rather than go over a list of shapeshifting heroes, villains or monsters, as would be traditional, I intend to go off at a bit of tangent, but having said this I can now bring in the villainess Mystique. Art!
NO YOU DON'T GET A FULL FRONTAL YOU DISGUSTING PERVERTS despite all the makeup
Rather than go down the avenue of organic life-forms, I was thinking along the lines of mechanical artefacts, ones that can change appearance at the press of a button. Yes, we've covered the Phooeymobile and the Convert-a-car already - Art!
Today we're going to be looking at the - Art!
T.A.R.D.I.S.
This iconic time-travel vehicle is equipped with a 'Chameleon Circuit', which allows it to blend in with the background, although something went horribly wrong in 1963 and it's been stuck (mostly) as a big blue police box ever since. It did manage to contort itself into a decorative pillar. Art!
Eyes on the pillar not Peri!
When it comes to that meddling jackanapes The Master, his TARDIS' Chameleon Circuit worked just fine. Art!
Well, from one work of fiction to another, for Lo! we are back on "The Aeneid" again. Don't whine about changing subjects so abruptly, it's good mental exercise.
Okay, the real villain in this work is Juno, who hates Aeneas (and the Trojans) with a passion, and whom attempts to contort events to their detriment. In Book Twelve both sides were drawn up in array, all ready for a final duel between Turnus and Aeneas that would settle their conflict without mass bloodshed.
O that battle that had been waged over the Trojan encampment? Aeneas killed the Latin's leader Mezentius, which seems to have (off-stage) ended that particular engagement. After two books regaling strife and gore, it's all over in a single line. Art!
Mezzy, pre-scragging
Thus, Juno the inveterate meddler, sends one of the minor deities, Juturna, who just so happens to be the brother of Turnus - talk about a conflict of interest! - to stir things up between the two sides.
This is where the shapeshifty bit comes in. Juturna takes on the appearance of Cames, a Latin adviser, and goes around stoking up discord, to the point where hostilities break out again.
Great, Juno, just great. Instead of either Turnus or Aeneas being killed, now hundreds on both sides will die. What was this plan, again? Art!
Jutty in natural form
During this stint of slaughter, Aeneas is hit in the side by an arrow; the wound is not fatal, yet it is debilitating and takes him out of battle.
Venus, his mum, decides to intervene, in a rather more subtle fashion than either Juno or Juturna. She disguises herself as a cloud and charges the medical waters being used on her son with dittany, panacea and ambrosia.
Hay Pesto! The stubborn arrowhead positively throws itself out of the wound, which is immediately staunched and all pain vanishes. Dittany not opium, hmmmm?
Origanum Dictamnus
ANYWAY that J-bird Juturna is still looking out for her brother, so she throws his chariot driver, Metiscus, out of the chariot and takes both his shape and his place. A wild ride ensues. When Aeneas catches up with Turnus, the latter's sword breaks in mid-duel, because it was actually the sword of Metiscus he'd picked up by mistake. Turnus promptly runs for it. That J-bird Juturna is still looking out for her brother, so she throws him his original sword. This stokes Venus' anger, and she meddles successfully to allow Aeneas to get his whacking big war spear back.
MEANWHILE ON OLYMPUS Jupiter, the Big Daddy of the gods, has been taking stock of this battle, and cautions Juno NOT to interfere again. She whines a bit but has to fall in line.
Just to make sure, Jupiter sends down a divine and morbid messenger, which takes the form of a small bird of ill-omen (it's natural form being a three-headed snake). Art!
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| The bird in question |
Juturna, recognising that Ol' Jupe is sending a message about non-intervention and not escalating matters (Jake Sullivan are you listening?), takes to her heels. I think she may be the mostly-naked wench to starboard in the painting above.
Yes, it really is that abrupt.
Well, I counted four exampled of shapeshifting there. There was also the medical intervention - the doctor Iapyx immediately recognised divine intervention there and said it augured Aeneas getting back into battle, canny chap - and Jupiter's intercession, too, and it takes a lot for Ol' Jupe to get involved. Art!
Virgil, the author. No, I don't know, either.
I have to say, "The Aeneid" is a real page-turner and a most engrossing read. It tells us quite as much about Roman culture around 0 BC as it does Aeneas - which is a tale for another day.
How To Say "I'm An Idiot" Even Louder
You ought to recall that, in "Leapfrog" we detailed how Governor Mike Parsons accused an investigative journalist of being a wicked evil dreadful hacker, because he informed the state of a gaping security flaw in their education database.
BOOJUM!: Leapfrog (comsatangel2002.blogspot.com)
Wellllll things got even worse for Ol' sub-Parsons. The Missouri Highway Patrol conducted an official investigation into this farrago. Art!
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| Why them? Why not! |
Things were apparently much, much worse than I initially described, because the flaw that allowed education department employees Social Security Numbers, present and past, to be seen, amounted to 576,000 people.
And the flaw had been around for 10 years.
The IT team responsible were actually part of the Governor's administration. If he'd kept his flapping pie-hole shut none of this would have come to light, instead of being displayed all over web and print media.
There don't seem to be any updates post-2022, and there definitely wasn't a prosecution, so this matter may have been put to bed.
Pau Casals i Defillo
You might this Catalan musician better by his Spanish name: Pablo Casals. Art?
He was an outstanding cellist, composer and conductor, being around from 1876 to 1973, even getting the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1963 from South Canada (presented by Lyndon Johnson as JFK was indisposed).
Conrad doesn't make a point of listening to cello music, doesn't have any works by Casals and consequently has no idea why this chap's name popped up in my mind with enough emphasis to make an entry in my Notebook. What's going on in my mind? There's no half-centenary in view, he was born in December and died in October. Answers in the Comments, please.
Conrad Is Hmmmmmmm
In my opinion, which is the one that matters here, there was no need to make another 'Hellboy' film after the initial two. If you want to continue to milk the franchise, try making animated films. Art!
Thus I am looking at this with a great deal of scepticism.
If it comes to that, I'm still waiting for the television series about Mega-City One that was slated for 2021, AND the third series of "Spaced".
"The War Illustrated Edition 191 October 13 1944"
There you go, now solidly identified with number and publishing date, which will be about a fortnight ahead of the photographs published. Let's have another one. Art!
A top you can see a column of British armour waiting for the word to go; you can tell they're not in action thanks to the people perching on hatch rims and sticking their head out of turrets, which they would most assuredly not do if things were at all hot.
Below to port is a Sherman tank passing the town hall of Louvain, in Belgium, where there are no signs of fighting. To starboard are infantry crossing a bridge in Antwerp.
At bottom you can see South Canadian 'Long Tom' self-propelled guns firing at Aachen in Germany, whose citizens are doubtless very excited that they're going to be involved in ground assaults pretty soon. Or perhaps not. Note that the chassis has been given extra elevation by ramps under the front tracks, permitting a higher elevation and thus longer range.
Finally -
Time for lunch!
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