Wire

With A Single-Word Title Like That

You know Conrad is going to be branching off in all directions, and you're entirely correct.  First of all, in our ruthlessly logical fashion, let us look at the word itself.  My "Collins Concise" defines 'Wire' as "A slender flexible rod or strand of metal", derived from the Old English 'Wĭr'.  Art!

     Wire, veterans of punk rock who grew and developed into a great deal more than two-chord wonders.

     ANYWAY let us move on, because this Intro won't write itself.  There was a South Canadian police procedural called "The Wire", which I have seen up to a point, notable because the lead actor is British.  Art!

Ha!  Take that, South Canadian thesps!

     In fact, in Season One a main villain was portrayed by one Idris Elba, whom is another British actor - two up on the South Canadian thesps.  Art!

Iddy - the next James Bond?

     ANYWAY we've gotten off-track there, an occupational hazard with the blog.  There's also another television title with 'Wire' in the title, the oddly-named "Wire In The Blood" which is another police procedural - come on, come on, when did creative originality crawl off and die? - about tracking down serial killers, who seem to be the UK's hottest export of late.

     Now, let us get to the real concern of this intro, which concerns wire, and in a rather ghoulish and sinister way.  Art!

     You see, the Ruffians in Ukraine are now reduced to riding around on motorbikes and Chinese golf buggies, and therein lies an analogy, going back 80 years to the Second Unpleasantness.  By the time the Allies were advancing into the land of the Teutons in early 1945 it was blatantly obvious even to the dimmest Nazi jack-in-office that they had lost the war.  Thus the gloves came off, and one of their less salubrious tricks was to string wire across roads at what would be head height for anyone riding a motorbike or in a Jeep.  Art!

    Here enter the wirecutter,  This was a simple vertical piece of angle iron welded or bolted to the vehicle chassis in order to prevent decapitation, with some having a bend in the metal which would guarantee to sever the wire.  These field-fitted devices are seen in "The Bridge At Remagen", which was set in February 1945, props to the production designer for accuracy.  Art!

     I had to search for 'wirecatcher' as 'wirecutter' brought up lots of pictures of hand-held shears.

     Conrad is pretty sure he's seen similar on British army vehicles operating in Ulster, but could I find a picture?  I could not.  Allegedly they were also used by the South Canadians in Vietnam, and once again I couldn't find any photographs on teh Interwebz.  Art!

Victim the first

     In the first episode of "Foyle's War" we don't quite see rider Greta Beaumont getting her throat sliced open by a wire strung between two trees, so much so that it nearly results in decapitation.  That's a horse travelling at perhaps 10 m.p.h.  I leave it to your fervent imaginations as to what happens to those in a Chinese golf buggy doing 30 m.p.h. if Ukrainian partisans get ideas.

     I did warn you it was going to be ghoulish and sinister.  let's lighten it up with a happy jolly picture.  Art!

A happy jolly Atomic Tank

I Couldn't Resist Adding This

Whilst you're still digesting the above frightfulness, allow me to add a couple of pictures for your delectation.  Art!

     Is this more horrid infernal practices against innocent civilians again, thanks to missiles or bombs or drones?

     No.  It's actually a stern corrective about keeping your fireworks in a fireproof container that's shut.  Art!

     These Three Unwise Men launch a rocket for 4th July celebrations.  It goes up and comes straight back down again.  Cue panicked rush to get a bit of distance between themselves and the explosive device.  Art!

     It explodes, and at starboard part of the burning residue hits a huge cardboard box.

     Which is chock-full of fireworks.  Art!

     One of the Three Unwise Men goes to inspect what's happening, realises that the whole lot is going up and gets out of Dodge.  Not a second too soon.  Art!

     The fireworks explode for another 14 seconds.  It doesn't look as if anyone was injured bar a few singed eyebrows.  Learn from this.

More Misery For Modern-day Mordor!

If you don't enjoy a bit of delicious schadenfreude, you may pass on this item.  BUT I WILL KNOW.

     Another Youtube pundit I Subscribe to is Georgij, whom is Danish, with a Ukrainian wife and the ability to speak Ukrainian, Russian, Danish (I hope) and English.  Check out his YT channel "Ukraine Matters" for his perspective.  If you don't I WILL KNOW.  Art!

     Don't worry, this is not about blood-letting and conflict.  Rather, it's about economics, which for Ruffia is an Achilles heel - if you imagine the foot it belongs to being the size of the 'QE2'.

     There is, you see, a 20% shortfall in manpower in the Ruffian military-industrial complex, a raw statistic that translates to 160,000 people in the real world.  Art!

Omsktransmash tank plant in Omsk, Siberia

This is a Ruffian tank factory.  Note the absence of workers, although it may be lunchtime.  Note, too, the natty blue and yellow colour scheme.  Someone's going to get fired for that.

     ANYWAY it would seem that Ruffian production of military kit has now hit a plateau and they cannot increase output, partly because of sanctions and now more so because there aren't any employees left to employ.  Even if Putinpot loudly declared in 2023 that sanctions actually helped Modern-day Mordor by forcing it to be self-sufficient.  Strange how his recent cease-fire chunterings involved dropping sanctions immediately, nicht wahr?

     That's not all.  Inflation is Ruffia is still increasing.  They admit that it's at 8.3%.  Unofficially it may be as high as 60%, which is eye-wateringly extreme, and that despite their interest rate being stuck at 16% since forever.  Art!

     That's Charlie Chipmunk Cheeks imagining what he'd like to do to inflation, were it a person.

     Georgij also, with a certain sense of malicious glee, warned to watch out for 27th July, when the Central Bank and Ministry of Finance might have to increase the interest rate again.

     Wow, I'm glad I've got two bags of popcorn to help me through this.

"City In The Sky"

I briefly dreamed last night about being aboard Arcology One whilst it fell through the atmosphere, and jolly frightening it was too.  Thank you so much Steve and Oscar*.  Really.

     ‘I should thank you for sneaking along and helping to rescue me,’ thanked the Doctor, passing the slowing alien a jelly-baby.

     ‘Typical Lithoi cunning.  Think nothing of it,’ replied Orskan, mashing the sweet furiously between his fangs.  ‘Besides, it’s good to get my own back on that goozlery Arkan 22.’

     With no warning, the subdued corridor illumination dipped even further before resuming to it’s wan normality.  A temporary flutter in the low background hum of air conditioning caught the Doctor’s ears.

     ‘That would be dihydrogen monoxide penetrating into the Bridge’s computer equipment,’ he guessed,  grinning at Orskan.  The alien looked back.

     ‘Did you plan to get caught?’ he asked.  ‘How else could you place your sabotage device within the inner sanctum?’

     ‘Not plan, not exactly,’ replied the Doctor.  Overhead the gentle murmur of Lithois sliding along the ceramic walkways became louder.  ‘Time to move.’

     They had reached the Physics level stairwell.  By now a dull bass drone had begun, which baffled the Doctor for a second until he realised it was an emergency siren, Lithoi-style.

     Excellent! he mused.  Keep them occupied.

     ‘Come on, let’s go poking around Physics,’ he cheerfully told Orskan.  ‘I’ll be your prisoner.’

     There was no single corridor along the Physics wing.  Instead five corridors led off from the stairwell, labelled with arcane Lithoi pictograms.

     Not explaining properly, not exactly.  An author's stratagem.

Point And Laugh

O dearie me, the BBC has gotten swept up in the hype about those four Russian vessels visiting Cuba.  Art!

     Since when were four ships a 'fleet'?  Nor can you call a tug and an oiler 'warships'.  Not only that, the Ruffian submarine was looking a bit tatty, with it's stealth tiling falling off.  Art!

     This is the best they can put forward?  Pshaw.  NATO was worried about this?  Pshawpshaw!

Make Mine Mud, Mate

Emma, a work colleague, detailed yesteryon how she'd been at the 'Download' music festival until very early Monday morning.  05:00 early, in fact, which is when she had to get her lift back home in order to be ready for a 12:00 start, which still didn't leave her with enough time to have a shower.

     "Why did she need a shower?" I hear you question.  Art!

     An alternative name for it is, ho-ho, "Drownload".

     This is why Conrad will only ever attend "Sound From The Other City" because the venues are all either sheltered or indoors, and it's held on paved city streets.  This may also be the reason why Darling Daughter only went to Reading twice.

*  Responsible for memory and the sub-conscious round here, the pikers