You Would Doubtless Roll Your Eyes
- and condemn Conrad for being so deliberately ambiguous. Deal with it.
This Intro is courtesy Edna, our now-elderly Border Terrier (10 1/2 years old) whom I took for a trot this afternoon. These walks are what I call "Thinking Time" as there are no distractions such as books, beer, comics, crosswords, Netflix or DVDs lurking near at hand, sly and irresistible. Art!
Say hello to the Canuckistanian 'Ram' Mark I. This was an excellently-designed tank fully equal to the early Shermans, although only (!) 1,000 were made. Various components such as running gear were copied from the South Canadian M3. The turret is noticeably different, as is the mantlet. The vehicle above is one of 50 Mk Is that mounted the 2 pounder, before the 6 pounder became available. Note that there is no hull machine gun; instead it's mounted on a hull cupola, rather similar to the British 'Crusader' tank. Note also the sponson doors on the side, very welcome for crew needing to get out in a hurry.
Not the Ram we're looking for. You probably guessed that already. Art!
Back in antiquity, the naval ram was an effective offensive weapon for the ships of that time. It was cast from solid bronze to maximise mass, and ideally would be used to hit the opposition broadside, where it would hole their hull at the waterline, leading to eventual sinking. Art!
What you're looking at there is 70 tons of ship and crew hitting the opposition at a speed of perhaps 10 miles per hour, and I'll leave the calculation of flow-rate in hundreds of gallons per minute to yourself. Out of action it might be possible to cover the hole with tarpaulin and limp away to beach somewhere; in action you're going to the bottom.
Still not the ram we're looking for. Psych. Art!
A battering ram. The principle is simple, you use a massive (in terms of weight) object tipped with metal to protect the ram and pierce the besieged, which you swing to and fro. The example above seems to have several tons of tree doing the energy transfer to the target doors, with a wheeled shed to allow for protected transportation. Art!
From the business end
Note that the assailants above have gone for the castle doors, the weakest part of any defensive structure. If this was not possible, perhaps because there had been a drawbridge that's not there any more, then the castle walls would be the target. Much harder to breach! I bet the ram crew would be aching all over by the time any hole got made.
Nope, still not the ram we're after. We are getting there, I promise. Art!
This, gentle reader, is a 'Bussard ramscoop', a variety of interstellar spacecraft that uses fusion power to accelerate up to a substantial velocity. Once there, it activates a gigantic electromagnetic scoop that hoovers up the stray hydrogen in the interstellar medium, which is rammed into the engines to provide further power and increase the acceleration. Art!
This was the idea put forward by Mr. Bussard, and it had a spell of popularity amongst sci-fi writers in the Sixties and Seventies. Larry Niven, in his "Tales Of Known Space", postulated ramrobot spaceships travelling from Earth to her colony planets, carrying scientific payloads for their betterment.
The idea kind of died a death when some smart alec did lots of calculations and found that a ramscoop was only effective to function at about one-billionth of Bussard's suggested efficiency. Since when it has rather faded into the shadows. Art!
Until I found this in the Galleries on the "Interstellar Research Centre", which does suggest a ramscoop. Since they are serious folk who take calculations seriously, I wonder if they've reviewed the review and found it wanting?
Conrad Is Feeling Clever
Maybe because June is a 'dry' month where no alcohol passes my lips, I did really well on the puzzle pages. Allow me to gloast a bit. Art!
This is a 'Skeleton' crossword, where they block in four squares and place four clue numbers on the grid, and Conrad has to solve the whole thing. What makes it even harder is that they omit how many letters a solution has. Usually I end up blocking in a couple of squares I shouldn't have, or get a solution wrong. Not this time! Art!
What an hilarious irony. For your information, I solved it in under 15 minutes.
Bad Traffic
One of the metrics that a blogger like myself uses to measure, track and inspire, is to follow how many hits or visits the blog has on a daily basis. "Blogger" itself can undergo collective psychosis-of-the-sums and inflate the traffic figures to ridiculous heights. Art!
This is clearly nonsense. I think. Perhaps BOOJUM! was incredibly popular in the Sanjak Of Novi Pazar and that biased the totals? Who knows. It's flattering yet completely inaccurate.
Therefore I was glad to see that June's figures were a lot more realistic.
Until yesteryon. Art!
Your Humble Scribe has been spending an awful lot of time on Twitter, which has definitely increased traffic, just not by that amount. I think.
The Haul
I quite forgot to display the fruits of my trip into Babylon Lite yesteryon, which deficiency I shall now make up. Art!
I cannot remember whether or not I've already got "Inception" so I risked a whole £0.50 to acquire it. Conrad has definitely not seen "Collateral", which I understand features Thomas Mapother Cruise III playing against type as an utter cad. I have vague memories of seeing a <coughcoughpiratecoughcough> version of "Skyline" with very little detail, besides that Hom. Sap. gets it's collective bottom kicked by alien invaders.
Yes, more pens. One can never be too rich, too thin or have too many pens. Well, you can be too thin since bulimia is a thing but I stand by the other two.
"City In The Sky"
The Doctor has been brought before the Lithoi's upper-caste on the bridge of the combined spaceship/underground refuge, which is their first mistake.
Despite trying to keep his metabolism
slowed, or more likely because of this, due to the sheer physical effort
involved, the Doctor found himself sweating.
He took in his surroundings: a giant circular room, with banks of
computers and computer operators lining the walls, and island consoles across
the floor space. The dry air stung his
eyes and he blinked, causing half a dozen approaching lizard folk to focus on
his eyes with unusual intensity.
Hang on – seven guards?
‘Great Spirit!’ declared one Lithoi,
backing away.
‘My personal hygiene is usually more
closely observed,’ he apologised.
Another higher-caste lizard stopped sliding towards him and backed off,
too.
‘He gives off anti-capture fluid,’
commented a Lithoi, probably a biologist.
‘Humans exude water from holes in their skin, to fend off enemies.’
I take it back, not a biologist, more
likely a high-energy physicist.
‘What are you here for? Sabotage? Assassination? Terms of abject surrender?’ asked the lizard
still remaining behind a protective wall of other Lithoi.
‘If you only knew,’ murmured the Doctor.
‘What does it have in it’s pockets?’ asked
another high-caste Lithoi hanging back behind a shield of others, instantly
identifying itself to the Doctor as these creature’s leader.
A nod to Ol' Tolky there.
CAUTION! U.F.O.! Run For The Hills! Save Yourself!
Alternatively you might want to find a cosy underground bunker when the evil aliens emerge and attack. Art!
Sinister in steel
Er - no, I'm lying. It's not a UFO. To be honest, Conrad is unsure what it is, as the "Temu" description was in Spanish. Art!
"Tapón Universal Pulido para Lavabo con Recolector de Pelo - Filtro de Desagüe Emergente"
Allow me <fiddles around in the background>
"Universal Polished Sink Stopper with Hair Catcher - Pop-up Drain Filter"
Well, now we know. Not as exciting as an alien attack, just a lot more useful about the home.
Finally -
Better go box up the Sunday Stew after a taste-test. I used up a fair bit of hot sauce from a bottle that's been sitting in the cupboard for years. We shall see. Or, we shall sear.
La revedere!
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