The Sinews Of War

" - Are Infinite Money"

Said Cicero, the Roman polymath, whom knew of what he spoke.  Yes, even 2,000 years ago the waging of war was an expensive business, and it's not got any cheaper in the meantime.

     If we go back 80 years to the beginning of the Second Unpleasantness, we see that the Teutons were already spending tons of money on their war effort.  Great Britain (as people still called us then), on the other hand, was spending far less of their GDP on their war effort.  Consequently, as time progressed, This Sceptred Isle gradually increased spending, creating and sustaining a huge air force, navy and a respectable-sized army.  Art!

     Because charts and stats are deadly dull.  Still, I have dug up a chart that gives you an idea of what's what in terms of economic ability tied to industry for the Second Unpleasantness.  Art!

     As you can see, the Teutons increased their munitions production by 7 times, whilst Perfidious Albion increased it by x22.  The South Canadians managed an increase of x140.  Park that last, we'll come back to it.  No, I don't know why they cut the data off at 1944.

     This economic and industrial production is, of course - obviously! - reflected in Western aid to Ukraine, which you know was going to come round again.  I say 'Western' which also includes South Korea, Japan, the Ockers and the Polite Australians, in addition to NATO and some European outliers who aren't members of same or the EU.  Art!

A whole Patriot battery

     The Teutons are giving another Patriot battery to Ukraine, which is pretty generous as these come with a $1,000,000,000 price tag.  They are also giving 68 Patriot missiles alongside, which is again generous, since each of these costs $4,000,000 - $272 million in total.  Art!

     The Norks are providing Ukraine with $258 million to procure air-defence equipment, which is one of their most pressing needs.  Lykke Till!  Art?

     This is an 'Airboxer' drone of the Royal Netherlands Navy, just to make the point that the Cloggies are allocating Ukraine $64 million to undertake naval and aerial drone production.  The Dutch may be a mild an inoffensive people, but they also have long memories and that of MH-17 still rankles.  Art!

     This is a misdirection, to be honest, because we're now on the subject of Italian support for Ukraine.  The Romans, very sensibly, absolutely refuse to give any details of what they've sent to Ukraine in terms of military equipment.  They have now announced a package of $150 million to support and sustain Ukrainian infrastructure.  Art!

     This is the Dragonfire laser-defence system, courtesy of This Sceptred Isle, which may be sent to Ukraine for what might be called 'live-fire exercises'.  We, identified by Ruffian critics as the 'Main Dastards', are giving another £300 million in aid to Ukraine, har-har.  Let it be noted that the UK's commitment to Ukraine has been sustained across different Prime Ministers from the get-go and will continue no matter who gets into office in July.  Art!

     These are the donations from Estonia and Lithuania, respectively: Mistral MANPADS and M113 Armoured Personnel Carriers.  We will be churlish and not give a dollar or euro amount for these as I'm not sure how many Mistrals are being sent, nor what a second-hand 'sardine can' costs.

     Then we have Japan.  Let's be plain here, the Japanese have no skin in this game, at least not in the near or medium future.  They have, HOWEVER - O my favourite word again! - negotiated an agreement with Ukraine to fund them over a period of 10 years with -

     $4.5 billion.  Worth emboldening.  Art!

     

     I will discount the $60 billion in South Canadian aid because it's being sent over a protracted period in different amounts.  They are now beginning to produce artillery ammunition from plants that were begun earlier in this conflict, which will only ramp up over time.  Art!

     Here is where Bunker Grandad must be chewing the carpet in inchoate rage, because the G7 summit produced an agreement on what to do with all that frozen Ruffian money in Western bank accounts.  Just giving the money to Ukraine is a lot easier said than done, with battalions of Ruffian lawyers prepared to fight it every step of the way for years if not decades, a play straight from Donald Judas Trump's rulebook*.
     So!  Ukraine will be given a $50 billion dollar 'loan', and no, that's not a typo: $50 billion or £38 billion in proper monies.  Art!

He only dares let one hand off the podium

     This loan will be repaid by the interest accruing on the frozen assets, which comes to about $5 billion per year.  Thus, Putin's rainy-day funds will be directly assisting Ukraine to mount a financial coup, which probably boils Putin's urine and definitely melts his pan.  A resolution like that was always feared by the Kremlin, and now it's come true.  Tee hee!

     Let us now tot up all this money.  

     $55,512,200,000

     It may be a coincidence that this total has now been calculated and that Bunker Grandad is now blathering about negotiations and peace terms.  If it comes to a war of resources Ruffia is going to lose as it's GDP is dwarfed by that of NATO alone by a factor of 20.  After all, who is bankrolling Ruffia and supplying them with hundreds of millions-worth of equipment?

     Smarter people than I - there are a few - have said this is how Ruffia will be defeated; not on the battlefield but by a war of economic attrition.

"Mouse-Jigglers"

Conrad had never heard of these before and wondered why people at Wells Fargo got fired for being so categorised.  So, a little digging ensued.  Art!

     Your Humble Scribe discovered that these are devices that physically move a mouse's track-ball, thus making it appear to any monitoring software that the employee is diligently working away, when in fact they're guzzling ice cream and binging on "Netflix".  Conrad would never stoop to such a low, especially since his work laptop uses a keypad.

     This does beg a few questions.  How or what does the employer require their employee to do that they can be spoofed by random mouse movement?  Surely not doing appointed tasks would be picked up on rapidly?  You might get away with it for a short while, in which case why not come up with a more creative method of skiving risk your job?

From "Infowars" To "Infowas"

You may have seen us here on BOOJUM! rail against that repellent bafune Alex Jones, who runs a conspiranoid loonwaffle website called "Infowars", where he makes a profit by flogging over-priced pharmaceuticals to his swivel-eyed bampot audience.  Art!

     I will not go into the details of his utterly ghoulish and reprehensible involvement with the Sandy Hook massacre, just to say that a judgement was made against him, and he was liable for an enormous amount of money.

     Well, Alex likes his money.  He tried various subterfuges to keep it hidden, or under the aegis of different people, or kept in a sock under his mattress.  To no avail.  He now has to liquidate his personal holdings to satisfy the $1 billion settlement.  Once again, tee hee!

How d'ya like them apples, Alex?

"City In The Sky"

Things are cooking amongst the Lithoi, and not in a good, catering chef-like kind of way.

Peering off to the right, the Doctor saw that the kitchen had been hit by only one laser bolt, but that single strike had been on what must be a Lithoi oven, which now looked like a peeled banana.  The pattering noise of earlier was easily explained – bits of partially cooked dough littered the floor like popcorn.

     The Internal Security detail advanced on him from the lift.  Three of them lay dead in the lift, and two more with severe injuries were supported by colleagues.  The half-dozen remaining focussed their weapons collars on the Doctor.

     This is unusual! he pondered.  Reducing my metabolic rate to communicate is rare.  Still, I managed with the Ice Warriors. And I have whole minutes before these aliens arrive.

     ‘Stop!  Your leaders will be angry if you kill me.  I’m a genius!’ he managed to intone a minute later, taking another minute to speak the words.

     We like to recycle.

Open Mouth, Insert Both Feet

I know we've already mentioned DJ Tango, but who's not up for more humiliation of the Braying Jackass?  Art!

     Only insert feet after shooting both of them.  Art!

     In case you were wondering.  One suspects Donald has never read an atlas nor looked at a globe, and might need a flashlight, guide dog and a small child to help him locate the USA on a map.

Finally -

Yes yes yes, those olives with a 'Best By' of 2023 were perfectly fine.

*  It says "legal bigly" in crayon.