That South Canadians Desperately Miss Being Part Of Great Britain*
One recurring piece of evidence is the almost-daily content that "The Daily Beast" puts out about the Royal Family. They are, in fact, far more up-to-date with who's who and what's what than Your Humble Scribe, who would be hard put to differentiate between Wally and Harriet (sp?). Art!
From today's edition.
What else can I put forward as evidence? A certain retailer of fast food, that's who. Did they use "Burger President" or "Burger Chief Executive Officer" as their name? Did they bottoms! No, it was straight in with "Burger King". Art!
Then there was that preening, posturing popinjay who called himself "Prince", presumably because "Count" and "Duke" had already been appropriated, which only goes to further underline my point. I could go on and probably will, except I have to now switch horses in mid-stream, most probably using a Breeches Buoy or a Bosun's Chair, aligning with yesteryon's Intro about chairs and s
ANYWAY What I wanted to yark on about in this Intro was a South Canadian frontiersman, Indian fighter and politician, which will immediately bring to mind in our trans-Atlantic chums the name of Davy Crockett. Art!
Don't let the coonskin hat, leather trappings and musket fool you, Ol' Davy had quite a successful political career, partly thanks to getting promoted as a <ahem> 'ba'r hunti' Injun fighter', although he was perfectly capable of speaking the Queen's English, or as close to it as South Canadians can get. Although he was present in folklore for over a century after his death, what really brought him into the attention-sphere of popular culture was a Walt Disney production, "Davy Crockett". Art!
Hmph - I don't perceive any crown
Incidentally, that preening, posing popinjay Adam Ant purloined that title, the blaggard, claiming to be a King Of The Wild Frontier.
Right. I don't think you can count Peckham or Swiss Cottage as either 'wild' nor especially 'frontier'-like. No herds of buffalo nor Native Americans wielding tomahawks and spears, don't you know. Tower Hamlets can be a bit dodgy on Friday and Saturday night, mind. Art!
He's a big fan of The White Stripes...
Okay, if you consider that to be an almost-aside, then this is definitely an aside, for 'Adam Ant' plays upon an adjective 'Adamant', which refers to a person exhibiting an unshakable will and state of mind, never to be amended. Of old 'Adamant' was a mythical material with qualities suspiciously akin to that of diamond, which Marvel have stolen and probably trademarked as 'Adamantium' the pikers. Art!
This was a product of the Swinging Sixties, the titular character Adam Adamant being deep-frozen back in the mid-nineteenth century, only to be thawed out one hundred years later. Just in time to encounter The Beatles, Carnaby Street**, miniskirts and a rapidly-escalating conflict in a land called Nam Viet.
Conrad has seen the first episode, it was shown on television decades ago as a televisual time-capsule of sorts. The best one can say is that it was of it's time; there's only so much mileage you can get from Fish Out Of Water tropes. Art!
The Alamo
Back on track.
You haven't heard the last of Davy Crockett, O Dog Bun! no, just you wait and see. Tomorrow we shall wheel in the anti-Davy Crockett, being a 22-stone monster that -
But that would be telling.
No, this is not a reprise of yesteryon's Intro about "In The Hot Seat", although there's some toilet humour to be found in this particular item.
You may not be aware of it, yet there is a sub-culture in South Canada whereby people with green fingers attempt to breed ridiculously hot peppers, and they are always trying to one-up each other. Art!
Ghost Chilli Peppers
A decade ago, these were the go-to chillis if you wanted to suffer excruciating pain from their Scoville rating of 1,00,000. Art!
Meet the Pepper X, created and grown by the same chap who came up with the Reaper, and whom is one of the very few people (five) to dare to eat a whole one. He suffered the burns for hours before experiencing very painful cramps for another hour. Yes, eating a pepper rated at 2,600,000 Scovilles will do that.
His surname, believe it or not, is - Currie.
"City In The Sky"
Our intrepid trio have made heads turn in the small town of New Eucla, having indulged in a hop there from the decaying urban landscape of Adelaide.
They had reached one of the well-trodden paths that wended in amongst
buildings before a group of three men, red-faced thanks to arriving at a run,
intercepted them. None of them wore any
kind of uniform, only home-spun woolen clothes.
Their leader seemed to be an apple-cheeked man, missing a front tooth,
whose receding hair bristled with dust and sweat. To his left stood a small, wiry, sunburnt
elderly man with a salt-and-pepper beard, and to the right a younger man, in
dungarees and carrying a spanner in one hand, a hammer in the other. He had the air of being interrupted in his
trade by the other two.
‘Good afternoon! I’m the Doctor,’
announced the Timelord, tipping his hat forward politely. He gestured to right and left. ‘Doctor John Smith. The young woman here is Ace, and this is
Alex.’
The leader didn’t reply straight away, looking over their heads into the
middle distance, his attention having been caught by the Tardis.
‘Who are you?’ he spluttered.
‘And how did that get there? And
where are you – where the Red Nick are you from?’ he added, looking them up and
down, recognising that their clothes were not made from wool. ‘You can’t possibly be Wanderers!’
O Mister Leader, if you only knew.
Conrad's Armoured Underwear Stand Him In Good Stead
Or at least they will until the Coincidence Hydra acquires a set of diamond-tipped teeth, which is highly doubtful; their job is not a remunerative one. Art!
Conrad has no idea why this showed up on Youtube, I hadn't been looking at any war films nor titles with "Way" or "Ahead" in them, certainly not recently. Also, not four feet from where I sit is a box of DVDs, and one of those is - Art!
Unlike a great many actors, David Niven had been at the sharp end carrying a Sten gun and dodging Teuton artillery. So, if Conrad wants to watch this, he won't need to do it on a small screen with dodgy focus.
Nick Moran Is Not A Fan
You recall that Nick was sitting in expert judgement on various scenes from films that depicted tanks in action. He doesn't mince his words and will happily call a spade a spade, and O! here comes Batman and "The Dark Knight Rises". Art!
Nick's gimlet eyes were focussed on the 'Tumbler' vehicles that the bad guys have purloined from Batmans secret arms stash, which to be honest are not that tank-like, lacking tracks or a turret. Art!
Yes, they do have a wildly-swinging 'gun-arm' that is still not a turret, even if it has a weapon. Art!
Ah yes, a missile launcher, that cannot rotate and is forever doomed to fire only directly forward in a straight line. NO! BAD! Art!
He was also pretty scathing about how badly-arranged the four vehicle convoy was, and using anti-tank missiles against aircraft, and - well, look at the score, I need not say any more.
Finally -
Blimey, it's full night outside and not even 19:00 yet. Better go haul damp clothes out of the washing machine and terrify them into dryness.
Chin chin!
* Notice the FULL AND PROPER TITLE there, thanks very much
** Conrad has no idea where or what this was but every time people mention London in the Sixties, they always drag this thoroughfare in.
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