Conrad: Your Man For Schadenfreude
We already know that Conrad is a terrible person, not least of which is his malicious enjoyment of other people's misery - the dictionary definition of 'Schadenfreude' by the way. You know, if you have been reading BOOJUM! for any length of time that I have been pointing and laughing at the CW's "Batwoman", a terribly cheaply made show that has plots about Diversity. That's it. Diversity. Characters? Nah. Dialogue? Nah. Plot points? Nah. Action set pieces? Don't be silly, everybody sits around and both talks and cries. Art!
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| Great Squeaking Bats! You didn't think I'd put up anything from the TV program, did you? |
The viewing figures have been getting steadily worse, with an occasional inexplicable blip upwards, because the people who witter on Twitter most certainly don't bother to actually watch it.
"Ah, but, Conrad old chap, how can you possibly comment if YOU don't watch it either?" I hear your citric comment. Pausing only to acknowledge that I am an old chap (and grumpy with it) I shall explicate. Art!
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| Az |
This is Az, who fronts the Youtube channel 'HeelvsBabyface', and who has subjected himself to terror on a weekly basis by watch BW ever time it is broadcast. He is utterly scathing in his reviews - which are VERY sweary so be aware NSFW - and he has been posting the latest audience viewing figures for the show. These, frankly, are dismal. Art!
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| Last showing: 0.372 |
"0.372" means that 372,000 people watched the most recent episode. This is a fifth of what the series began with in Episode 1 of Season 1, and both Az and myself consider that the only reason the program continues is because it's a tax scam. I mean, it's down almost 100,000 viewers in only 5 episodes! Who's watching it? Your Humble Scribe is pretty sure a considerable fraction are reviewers like Az, who watch only to ladle opprobrium over it. The Critical Drinker, I'm looking at you!
ANYWAY, what went on behind the scenes of this farrago is far more interesting than the show itself, as TCD said in his review of a Ruby Rose interview where she ladles opprobrium on the show - only for other commentators to ladle opprobrium over her for her attitude and behaviour. The trouble began with casting Ruby Rose as BW, because the comics had retconned BW to be a Jewish lesbian. Art!
Unfortunately for RR, she's neither Jewish nor lesbian, only being 'gender-fluid'. This created such a howling backlash that she had to delete her Instagram and Twitter accounts. This was only the beginning - and as you can read, FAR more interesting than the anodyne television show. We will definitely be coming back to this, Alger Hiss.
Motley! Release the bats.
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| Come on, you KNEW this was coming |
Take THAT, Coincidence Hydra!
<snaps fingers> Ow. Okay! Let us continue with my traditional rant about Codewords, as I have plenty of venom to vent. Or spit, whichever is most appropriate.
"KEMPT": YOU WHAT! And only a week or so after I posted about this very word. As raw unedited proof, allow me. Art!
"Kempt"
This is one of those questions that pops into my mind on occasion. You have heard of the expression "Unkempt"? Of course you have. What Your Humble Scribe wondered is why you never see the expression "Kempt". Art!
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| Mister Poster Boy for 'unkempt' |
It seems that this is derived from the Old English "UNCEMBED", which itself comes from "CEMBAN" meaning "To comb". So now we all know more than we did five minutes ago. Conrad may start using "Kempt" himself as a secret joke between you and I.
What the heck Jane Kaczmarek! O and here's further proof, as I know what skeptics you lot are. Art!
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| Irrefutable proof, I tell you! |
Humour me here.
"OINK": Hmmmm you're pushing the boundaries here, frankly, pushing the boundaries. Nursery rhyme lyrics are a poor foundation for lexicography.
Conrad approves
I think that's enough complaining for one day, my blood pressure monitor is hissing and steaming, which is never a good thing. Next!
'Bout Beer
If you have been reading the blog with any frequency then you will recall that one of Conrad's peculiarities is hunting in the aisles of the supermarket for beer cans that are either unusual in design or which can be used for a pun. The beer itself? That comes a very distant second; I will drink it eventually, which means I keep well clear of those disgusting brews that proudly boast about having chocolate as a flavour <shudders in horrified reaction>. ANYWAY take a look at this. Art!
It is a fact that Conrad loves a cup of hot Marmite with stale bread to dip in it, truly a breakfast of champions. I have also indulged in jars of Marmite-flavoured peanut butter, an exceedingly savoury spread. SO! this beer holds no terrors for me. Don't worry, I shall report back.
Beauty Is A Beast
Further to the hilarious Bug-A-Salt gun, with associate film of flies being blasted dead*, Conrad wondered about 'Pyrethrum', which he dimly associated with being an insecticide, doubtless an horrid chemical concoction brewed up by ICI or Monsanto. Art!
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| Chrysanthemum Cinerariifolium |
Not a bit of it. It's a basic preparation made from the petals of the flowers above, which are ground down and processed into insecticide. Who would a bunch of flowers would contain anti-insect pyrethrin compounds? Well I never but now I do and so do you. And you're welcome.
Finally -
I say I say what a disgustrous day! It's cold, wet, raining and windy, and there are acres of yellow leaves lying on the verges and in the gutters. Autumn has definitely arrived. Conrad is avoiding Edna, as she tends to get that eager look in her locked-in eyes, which is Dog for "When are walkies?". Not just yet, faithful Wunderhund. Perhaps never. Or at least not until rivers stop running from the skies. I wonder if Hebden Bridge has flooded yet?
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| HB - where a boat is as important as a car |
That's the peril of having a picturesque stream WITH NO BANKS running through the town; yes very nice in summer and it helps bring in tourists who feed the ducks, another tale altogether at other times.
And on that grim note we shall end things for today. Tot siens!
* As I said, a terrible person
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