Am I Still Cross?

OF COURSE I AM!

Angry is my default state.  I don't have to worry about probably cause, something will come along in a minute, and if it doesn't I can silently rage until it does.

     O this will do - I accidentally posted this afternoon's update this morning, because I was running around like an olympic athlete on steroids with a I/V drip of Red Bull and amphetamine sulphate.  I had to get all my regular kit ready, which takes at least 10 minutes, and then slice up and e-mail about the two cakes I've baked*.  Consequently I put up the wrong link.  Grrrrr!

     

The Blueberry and Soured Cream cake

     The recipe calls them a 'loaf' but I'm calling them what they are - cakes.  Of course - obviously! - this also enrages me.  Shouting at a recipe book isn't very productive, so instead I'm shouting at you.

     Your Humble Scribe is also particularly enraged about Codewords, as per usual.  The world turns, the sun rises and Conrad sits like a pudding of hatred, stewing at Codeword solutions.  Don't you feel comforted that there is consistency in the universe?  I think James Dean was once described by Elia Kazan as "A pudding of hatred" so I'm in good company there.

     A film star, before you ask <sighs> Art!

I don't have to tell you whom is whom, do I?

     O!  I have another reason to be rancorous. Trams.  You know, those city trains that cruise solemnly along and which sway alarmingly when they pick up speed.  Conrad has been traipsing along (a sight to see!) to the Market Street tram stop, then catching a tram into Victoria Station and transferring to the Rochdale-bound tram.  This can take at least quarter of an hour, longer if some suicidal vandals have stolen copper cabling along the route.  Art!

Appropriately wet

     Then, last week I discovered that if I left The Dark Tower by the Exchange Square exit, there was the Exchange Square tram stop.  And what tram passes by that tram stop en route to Victoria?  Why mine.  Art!

     Travel time cut by at least ten minutes.  How much time had I wasted previously?  You can surely see why I am SO FURIOUSLY ANGRY!

     What's that?  The <long sweary rant redacted> Codewords?  O don't you worry, we'll get to them in time.

"Kempt"

This is one of those questions that pops into my mind on occasion.  You have heard of the expression "Unkempt"?  Of course you have.  What Your Humble Scribe wondered is why you never see the expression "Kempt".  Art!

Mister Poster Boy for 'unkempt'

     It seems that this is derived from the Old English "UNCEMBED", which itself comes from "CEMBAN" meaning "To comb".  So now we all know more than we did five minutes ago.  Conrad may start using "Kempt" himself as a secret joke between you and I.

Just for political balance

     So, if in future you see an especially suave person gracing these electronic pages and they get the credit for being Kempt, you'll know what I mean**.

Let The Anger Flow Forth!

For Lo! we are back to one of my favourite topics, Codeword solutions and how ridiculously difficult they are made by using obscure, obsolete or foreign words.  For instance, I think it quite vile to use the word "QUIXOTIC" as it combines two of the rarer letters in a word that cannot have come into use before the seventeenth century and ought to have been dropped by the nineteenth.  Really!  Art!

Before the threat of the steam locomotive, there were windmills, it seems

 
"BHAJI":  This was another stinker.  Yes, they are nice to eat but who on earth expects to see "B" paired with "H"?  And, again, you're trying to find a solution for a word containing two of the rarer letters.  Art!

     One can imagine those compilers cackling with ribald laughter, tweaking the ends of their Victorian vaudeville villain moustaches - and then vanishing in a puff of radioactive vapour as they get Remote Nuclear Detonated.  That'll show 'em.

"DYSLEXIA":  YOU WHAT!  ARE WE ALL DOCTORS AND PSYCHIATRISTS ALL OF A SUDDEN!  <long swear redacted>.  Again, two of the rarer letters and how on earth are we supposed to come up with a credible picture that illustrates - .  Never mind.  Art <whispers> -

Nope.  Don't care what you think.

     I shall have to discontinue this item as my liver is threatening to leap from my body in order to hunt down these pedagogical swine.

When Nit-Picking Minutiae Is A Good Thing

As we know, Conrad recently revealed that he works for Sainsbury's HR atop the Dark Tower, in Store Recruitment, and that he was due for the chop in early December.  However, much to my surprise, I am now due to start with Colleague Services later this month in a permanent position.  This means no handsome pay-out <sad face> but does also mean I shall have money for books <happy face>.  In order that I not arrive as a complete novice, Your Humble Scribe spent today shadowing people across the floor, studying the different work they do.

     Ooo-er Matron!  Bitty and complicated.  Just up my street!  Art!

The Dark Tower being - dark

     The thing is not simply to be accurate, but to be accurate and rapid.  Typically if you get this stuff wrong then it only comes out on payday, when an angry employee rings up about not getting paid ...

Finally -

Don't worry, I shan't be going into detail about my work, as it would send you to sleep and probably also constitute a breach of business confidentiality.  

     ANYWAY here's letting you know that I got half-way through "Quatermass And The Pit" on Halloween, and had to keep a light on as otherwise it was risky, thanks to the number of wires and cable that stray across the floor of my Sekrit Layr, not to mention that Edna is completely camouflaged in the dark, and I might easily have knocked my drink over.  Nothing to do with cowardice.

     And with that, we are done.

*  First world problems, hmmm?

**  And those who ask what I mean will be Remote Nuclear Detonated, since they have very obviously NOT BEEN READING THE BLOG.