Your Humble Scribe Is ANGRY!

I Know, I Know, I'm Always Angry
It is pretty much my default setting, all Conrad needs to do is settle on what's causing him annoyance at that very moment.
     Before I vent any further, I'd like to go back and revisit the Mark One Indestructible Robot, better known as "The Steel Commando", or, as Ernie Bates calls him, "Ironsides".  Art?

There you go

     Pretty obviously Ironsides is bulletproof and blastproof.  Also, if this episode above is set in North Africa, then to judge by the presence of Teuton troops, it's taking place in February 1941 at the very earliest.  One thus wonders if Ironsides is proof against the likes of this -

Teuton anti-tank rifle

     I can tell what you're thinking - why is there only one of them?  Cannot the British mass-produce these inimitable armoured warriors and send them to slay the jackboot hordes?
     Not advisable.  If you didn't read the preface blurb, let me explain that Ironsides won't acknowledge instructions from anyone except shiftless Ernie Bates, and you don't want an army of rogue robots all agog waiting for orders from a single man.  Also, Conrad is not at all sure how they built a robot able to accept verbal commands in 1941, when they had to use punched cards to program what had yet to be called "computers".  Plus, what happens if Ernie gets laryngitis or catches cold?

     It even has the ability to give verbal responses, too - apparently we British weren't just brilliant at code-breaking with electro-mechanical devices, we could build walking, talking robots with limited A.I.!  No wonder the Teutons lost.
     Of course, I could be overthinking this -

Talking Of Losing, Let Us Move On To Me Losing It
My temper, not the plot.  If I did lose the plot I'd come up with one of my own, no problem.  For example, <Mister Hand removed a long unfunny story about intelligent potatoes because "2000AD" did it first and better>
     No, I am annoyed with "Empire", the film magazine, and here we need an illustration of how intemperate they have been.  Art!

From a background chat about the film "1917"

     That bit under "The German Trenches".  They are right about Teuton trenches being made to last, for the simple reason that they intended staying there, in occupation of French territory; they wanted to be comfy.  The French wanted France back, so their trenches weren't going to be permanent, nor the British either.  
     Anyway, that's incidental, what I really wanted to skrike about was the bit of text that runs " - pulling back from their trenches in an attempt to lure the British forces forward, and in, a deadly trap.  It very nearly worked; had it done so, it would have swung the war inexorably in the German's favour."
     <rubs hands gleefully>
     How can I put it?  O yes - WRONG!  That's as WRONG as WRONG can get.  Did I mention WRONG yet?  Art?

A nice map of the event

     The Teutons destroyed, poisoned or burnt anything that they couldn't carry away, even to the extent of cutting down trees.  Art?

Teutons being Hunnish

     There was no intent to decoy the British army forward; the last thing the Teuton high command wanted was the British on their heels, as they wanted to make a clean break and shift back out of contact.  The reason for the retreat was an outcome of their army's huge losses in 1916, of at least a million men, because they couldn't afford those kind of losses again.  The Hindenburg Line was a carefully-chosen, extensively fortified belt of land that meant a smaller number of men could hold it, rather than the haphazard trench lines they'd been sitting in.  Art!

Hindenburg-y barbed wire

     One wonders how, exactly, the Teuton hordes would have managed to attack through their own barbed wire belts that were at least fifty yards in depth.
     I could go on here, but Conrad detects that your minds are beginning to glaze over.  No wonder Professor Gary Sheffield declined any opportunity to watch this film*.
     Of course, I could be overthinking this ...

You What?
Earlier in the week I mentioned the "Jennings" series of novels, which were set in an English preparatory school, featuring the titlular good-natured but bad-lucked hero.  Conrad mentioned that there had been two television series made, the first in 1958.  Art?

Darbyshire to port, Jennings to starboard

     Jennings was played by young John Mitchell, and here's the WoE moment that the title refers to - in later life he came to fame in a different medium.  Art!

Yes, that is Jimi Hendrix

     Here we see "Mitch" Mitchell, sticksman for The Jimi Hendrix Experience.  Who would have thought it!  From spotty youth to rock legend, how strangely the world turns sometimes.  Let go with a taradiddle, Mitch!

Finally -
I need to come up with something pithy because it's nearly ten past seven and Mister Stomach is beginning to wake up and make noises.
     I wonder - BOOJUM! has probably covered the Virginal before and WASH OUT YOUR FILTHY MINDS! for I refer to the keyboard instrument, not the sexual condition.  Okay, we may have covered it before, and for your gutter imaginations we're going to cover it again.  Art!

A keyboard instrument.  Perverts.

     Okay, this is a species of harpsichord, where the strings are arranged horizontally, meaning that it takes up a lot less space than the larger harpsichord.  It was popular in homes in the 16th and 17th century, so it's a fair bet that the generals and officers currently battling it out at Little Spleine would be familiar with them and perhaps be able to manage a tune or two.

     And with that, we are done!

*  This is a tremendous academic smack-down, in case you were wondering