Siema, Folks - Let's Polish This Off!

You May Groan Now
"Siema" is what hip and trendy young Polish people say to each other, as I was instructed by Marta at work.  Thus it is sublimely inappropriate for the aging, white-haired and avowedly non-Slavic and especially non-Polish Conrad to use it.  So I shall.  
     To any Poles who may have, somewhat bemusedly, followed the link here, the expression "Polish it off" is pronounced "Poh-lish" as in the act of making your brass hand especially shiny, and not "Poe-lish" which is their nationality.

You've got to hand it to them -

     "Polish it off" is English idiom that means "to decisively finish an article" and usually refers to food, as in "Conrad polished off five and a half eighteen inch pizzas"*.
     All this nonsense is because Your Humble Scribe decided to look up some Polish cuisine last night, partly to see what kind of herbs or spices were used in recipes, and if there were any ultra-Polish ingredients.  Sauerkraut seems to be in there quite often, and I checked the kitchen cupboards; there's a jar in there that's only 6 years past it's sell-by-date, so we're good to go on that score!  And I know we've got an open carton of sour cream in the fridge that's probably a couple of weeks old, so win-win!  Art?

These are "Placki Ziemnaczane" or potato pancakes

     The recipe calls for a load of grated potato and onion, bound with egg and flour, which is then sauteed in a pan, served topped with sour cream, apple puree or sugar.
     Conrad thought he might as well take this step, as he's been scoffing Polish pickled gherkins (much nicer than the bland English version), tinned Polish mackerel, roasted buckwheat groats and will happily devour Polish pickled mushrooms if he can find them.
     Okay, I now have to go track down the motley; last I knew it was hiding in the coal cellar, because I had a new atomic-powered cattle prod.
     Dzien dobry!

Gdansk.  Say it loudly enough and Tsar Putin will scowl in remembrance

That'll Teach Me
Yesterday I was bloviating about how Thursday was my Saturday, as I'm working Saturday and thus have Thursday off, but I was only going to post one BOOJUM! blog article today, yah booh sucks.
     It turns out I've got far too much to write about for one blog post.  Art?

     There you go, all the highlighted numbers are an article, and I've probably missed a few off.
     Still only one blog post today, though!

"A Weasel As Big As A Donkey"
Sorry, I was checking to see if Your Humble Scribe had already broached the subject of the Cornish Alps, since my memory seemed to indicate I had.  Nothing came up when searching "Cornish Alps" so I tried merely using "Cornish" and, what do you know, up came a blog post with that as the title.  Since Conrad never bothers to go back and read what he's written, I just had to have a nosey.

Some people have entirely too much time on their hands ...

     Here's a link, if you want to check it out yourself.

https://comsatangel2002.blogspot.com/2018/05/a-weasel-as-big-as-donkey.html

     Back to our scheduled broadcast.  I was looking at a candidate's address on our database yesteryon, and their first line included the word "Kaolin", which coincided with their living in Cornwall, and - Conrad's mind being retentive to the point of clogging - I recalled a line in a Biggles novel, when Bertie warns about flying low over Saint Austell in Cornwall, lest the airmen hit the "Cornish Alps".  Art?

A Alp

     These giant mounds are the spoil tips resulting from the extraction of kaolin clay from deep underground.  The ratio is seven tons of spoil for one ton of clay, hence these giant hillocks, and drying and processing that one ton of clay used to require ten tons of coal.  There's still an enormous amount of kaolin clay seams underground that have yet to be tapped, so the alps aren't going to go away or shrink any time soon.  Art?

Disused clay mine

     And yes, this is the stuff that's put into the pharmacological medicine "Kaolin et Morph" and which sinks to the bottom until you violently agitate the bottle.

             

Where Is Philip Kendred Dick When Needed?
There's a quote by PKD about Conrad's current situation.  To wit: "Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away."
     " 'Barn Of The Blood Llama'," I mused to myself as I sat and soaked up the rays in our backyard -
   

     AHEM!  ' "Barn Of The Blood Llama" - am I imagining this as a film title or not?'  If it's a real film, how on earth did my mind either conceive or remember it?
     As it transpires, Not.  I can even supply evidence - Art?  (and don't think I'm not going to get my own back on your bafoonish behind later) -

Proof I am not raving

     Conrad cannot recall where he read about what looks like the poster child for "Bargain Basement Budget Bodge-up"; one imagines that the film's director, producer, scriptwriter, editor, cameraman and continuity assistant were all the same person - that being someone who owned a llama that lived in a barn.  And no, I am not going to visit IMDB to find out what kind of farrago it is.
     It does inspire the muse a bit, mind.

"There once was a llama who lived in a barn.

It was quite docile and did nobody harm.

But it's owner was an exploitative git,

And dropped poor old llama right in the it."

Llama not a charmer

Finally -
Time to go prep those potato pancakes, people.  

Pozegnanie!




*  This is not beyond the bounds of  either reality or possibility.