Why Dragons?

Sorry, My Mind Runs On It's Very Own Rails
Nor are they exactly conventional ones.

A metaphor for Conrad's mind

     After yesterday's mention of Ye Olde Worldy Map-Makers and embarrassing empty spaces on their stock in trade, Your Humble Scribe began to wonder why they used "Here Be Dragons" as a legend.*  If I had just purchased a map for 87 groats/guineas/guilders, and I saw a big space in the middle of <thinks> Paraguay stating "Here be dragons", you'd better believe I'd be over there in a flash, looking for said dragons.  

No, Art, not that kind of dragon

     Because stating that there are dangerous creatures hiding out in the woods (does Paraguay have woods?) is definitely going to attract the Great White Hunter types.
     So - instead of having an armoured, flying flamethrower as your "Do Not Disturb" symbol, why not put down the equally mythical upas tree?
     "Here be Upas Tree" - not only does it rhyme, you won't find anyone desperate enough to go within a mile of an upas tree.  It doesn't move or have fangs, so the Great White Hunter types won't get out of bed for it, and botanists are not known for being fond of derring-do.

Obviously only drawings of said tree exist, since it's not real

     They might also try "Here Doth Be Manchineel Tree", which still rhymes, if a little clumsily, and the Manchineel tree appears to be something the Good Lord invented when he was in a liverish and caustic mood, because it is nothing but poison in the shape of a forty-foot tree.  I've mentioned it before, and how every part of it is poisonous, from roots to fruits: the apple-like fruits taste nice at first, until you suffer appallingly chemical burns and swelling and - well, die.  Dog Buns, when the tree is burned, even the smoke is poisonous!  If you saw a gap on the map with this particular fauna mentioned, you'd stay very far away.
     So, once again - why dragons?

The Manchineel.  It does not appeal.

     Okay, motley, if that car that you're superglued into goes below fifty miles per hour, it's wired to explode.  Yes, we have swapped the wheels for square manhole covers.  And the petrol tank is full.  Oh, and that's a crate of TNT bottles just out of reach on the back seat.**

On The Rails But Off The Tracks
O dearie me.  You know Conrad, if not his mind, which he's not too sure about, either.  It keeps doing this random mental flotsam thing, whereby a word turns up at random, and then I have to find out what it is and what it means.  I shouldn't complain, it does provide material for BOOJUM! after all, and we even learn new things together.
     Take "MANACLE" as an example.  This wasn't a random syntactic salad thing, it was the answer to a Cryptic Crossword clue "One way of holding hands").  Art?

Or feets.

     Of course I couldn't simply let it rest there.  "What is the derivation of this word?" I pondered, aloud since I was in my Sekrit Layr.
     Latin, of course, LATIN THE ZOMBIE LANGUAGE.  From "Manus" meaning "Hands", to "Manicula" meaning "Little hands" to the French "Manicle" and then to the Queen of Languages and "Manacles".
     That makes sense.  However - "Otto Von Knobelsdorf"?
     Actually only the VK bit popped up in my head.  Typical lazy subconscious, can't be bothered to do all the work <Mister Hand edits out a long rant about the Id> so, Art?

Otto VK

     He was a Teuton general, commanding armoured formations during the Second Unpleasantness, which means I've probably come across his name a few times in my extensive reading on the subject.  But - why did it suddenly pop up on Tuesday?  Answers in the Comments, please.***

     Since Pub Quiz may be a possibility tonight, I think it prudent to go scrape these bristles off my face.  It will never be confused with an oil-painting, so I need all the advantages I can get.

More Of Barcelona!
But not of our visit there, O no.  For you see, there was a ballfoot game here in Gomorrah-on-the-Irwell last night (or was it the night before? - sport: Conrad's Achille's Heel) played between Manchester United and Barcelona.  To cut a long story short, MU lost.  This is great, because it means lots of bitter invective on the BBC's Have Your Say webpages on their Sports tab.

Read on

     Conrad sees a lot of allegations about the BBC being shockingly biased - however, biased both for and against Manchester United, which would be a real feat were it achieved.  Then there are the allegations that match officials are actually working in cahoots with the MU team in order to give them an unfair advantage.  This has been thoroughly rubbished by sports journalists, but that, of course, will have absolutely no effect on the loonwaffle brigade.  There are others who decry anyone quoting match statistics - because facts and evidence - I mean, who needs them?

Strangling your team-mates: not a recommended winning strategy

     That's quite beside the posts slagging off various MU players.  I shan't quote one directly, but he referenced the gigantic weekly salary of one MU player (Sanchez?) which comes in at £500,000.  Per week.  Every week.  That's £25 million per annum, probably at least a thousand times what folks posting on the website are earning.  Our poster considered this was a case of the player (Simoniz?) running the club, instead of the other way round, and sooner or later all the other players will be wanting £500,000 per week.

What matey (Suarez?) earns every second

     Conrad can only guess at how many players MU really have, but guess and say 20, which would make a £500 million annual wage bill.  Expensive!
     We've strayed a bit from Barcelona, haven't we?  Okay, we'll get back on topic tomorrow.


*  It's a cartographical term, not a reference to mythological creatures.
**  I lied.  It's Lucozade.
***  All variations on  "Because you are weird" will be ignored.