Being A CLUB Member

No!  Nothing To Do With That Chocolate Biscuit
Although Your Humble Scribe did enjoy the Club Mint variety, because there is nothing in this life that cannot be improved by the addition of mint flavouring.  Art?

<gazes longingly>

     The story behind how these chocolatey-and-biscuity things ended up in the UK is interesting, since they were originally from the shores of Ireland - but maybe another day.
     For I wanted to focus on instruments of instruction, or perhaps destruction, and certainly of irruption, which, if Art will be kind enough to illustrate -

Club

     There you go, a blunt instrument if ever there was one.  Okay, that's the title excused.  What comes next is - 
     A mace.  Art?

Mazes in their places

      For yeah, we are looking at that of instrument of offence known as the "Mace", same said instrument as exists in the Houses of Parliament.  Art?

Mass of bass

     Okay, now we promptly change subject again, as we are wont to do here, and switch to  - ANTI-AIRCRAFT GUNS!
     Imagine the meeting: HM Government have just recently had a meeting that discussed the performance parameters of an anti-aircraft gun, which they expect the gun-makers of Perfidious Albion to apply for.  The thing has to be enormous, firing a 5.5 inch round of at least 80 pounds weight.  Art?

Enormous, as stated.

     Say a hearty hello to "Green Mace", which was the codename for a prototype anti-aircraft gun post-Second Unpleasantness.  It truly was a monster, in performance as much as size.  Those enormous 5.5 rounds would be fired at the rate of 3 every 2 seconds, loaded from 14 round drums at the back.  So the whole lot could be fired off in 18 seconds, which meant that, although only one man could fire the thing, he needed an army of other chaps to reload the drums of ammo.

Or - "Mace" as in the spice, perhaps?

     What put it to bed were the first generation of surface-to-air missiles that were coming in at that time, since these were considerably more accurate - oh, and £££ too, since no politician ever spent more than a penny they could cut, the dirty curs, although 5.5" ammunition was a lot cheaper than guided missiles, so Conrad suspects <long conspiranoid screed about politicians and corruption and money and pomegranates redacted by Mister Hand>.

Close enough

     Time for a tea and toast break, during which time we shall leave the motley suspended over the volcano, as it probably won't erupt today soon imminently.

Is He Or Isn't He?
The "He" I refer to here is nothing to do with Helium, nor Hydrogen, and thus nothing to do with thermonuclear weapons <makes sad face>, but is in fact Andrew Borntreger.
     "Who's he?" I hear you chorus.
     None other than the establisher, runner and content provider of "Jabootu's Bad Movie Dimension", which Your Humble Scribe used to frequent waaaay back when, when The Agony Booth still had a forum, in fact.  Yes, that long ago!

No pictures of Andrew, so here's some US Devil-dogs

     The thing is, Ol' Andy was (or possibly still is) a member of the US Marines, and saw active service in Afghanistan, amongst other places.  So - if the site went dark there was probably an unpleasant reason for it ...

Typically reviewed fare

     I had completely forgotten about Jabootu until prompted by a mention on The Flop House, so a quick Google this morning revealed that it still seems to be around.  Exactly who's running it is quite another question, and one that requires a good deal of digging around, and - my time is limited.


http://jabootu.net/


     The link, lest you be curious yourselves.


     And now - a Polonaise!

Because.

     Well, partly because it's Polish, although "Polonaise" is actually French for "Polish", and it has Swedish roots - confused yet?  And was all the thing for a couple of centuries.  So if you were Polish you might not have a state, but at least you had a dance named after you.


Strangerer Things
No!  Nothing to do with the television series that might have been made especially for Conrad, especially the first season.  No, instead I refer to a lot of rather odd items attached to lamp-posts.  Art?

The top and bottom ones

     Conrad read a whole raft of suggestions about what they are, including a parking sensor, which they're not, since I've seen them on residential roads out in the suburbs that are far distant from any car parking.  They seem to be a sensor of some description.
     Of course the paranoid loonwaffles will be frothing with seething righteous indignation about them, and how they're mind-control scanners for the sinister lizard overlords who rule the human race from their underground base in the Antarctic ...
     I don't suppose any of you shiftless articles reading this will know, still less enlighten the rest of us in the Comments, but I live in hope, I live in hope.

Irrefutable evidence that aliens stalk amongst us!
(and if you insist they're just clouds, then you are part of the conspiracy)

Game Of Thrones
If I mention this, even briefly, I can work it into the Facebook and Twitter links when I promote the blog, which will result in LOTS AND LOTS of extra traffic.*  And possibly some annoyed customers as well.  I'll take the chance.  For I have no conscience.**
     "Who will end up on the Iron Throne?" runs the question.  Personally, I hope it's Ser Jorah Mormont, because I've got him in the office sweepstake, though I can't honestly see it happening.  Too honourable and decent a bloke to hack his way to power, really.  Art?

Ser J., in his scabbier days

     Conrad himself wouldn't like to perch on that particular piece of household furniture, as it looks likely to give one piles, or a serious injury if you sit down carelessly.


JonsNowVeryWellRegarded
Again, hopefully that will come up in search engines as "Jon Snow", for Your Humble Scribe is nothing if not a cunning swine, and is not above stretching the truth to get a bit more foot traffic headed BOOJUM!wards.
     Anyway, what I meant was the actor Jon Voight, whom I saw in abridged form last night, in Legal Eagle's assessment of "The Rainmaker".  He pulls off a great turn as the defence attourney, and Legal Eagle acknowledged same.  Art?

Jon.

     Conrad realised, after the recap, that he'd seen the beginning and end of the film, which did not flirt with happiness, and is in fact glum all round.  Perhaps due a revisit?




     And with that we have well and truly cracked the ton, so it's off for lunch for this old grey gannet.




*  Perhaps.
**  Surgically extracted at birth.