Try to take over the world!
Conrad would have to intervene; after all I want this world and I don't want any competitors getting in the way. This is why you can trust me to prevent the forthcoming zombie apocalypse, avoid robotic rebellions and guarantee no grey-goo ghastliness.
My hero! |
Yes, Conrad's zombie novel. That ought to be "methodology-of-defeating-zombie-apocalypse-thinly-disguised-as-a-novel". Once it's published, translated and filmed you won't need Max Brook's "Zombie Survival Guide" any longer, which is a good thing because the volumes knocking around now must be a bit dog-eared.
Anyway, we are now well into Year Four of The Crisis. Project Pitch is clearing and rendering livable proper housing stock, so people can move out of their squalid caravan/tent parks and into accomodation with running water (some of the time), electricity (some of the times that don't necessarily overlap with the water), and special anti-zombie fencing.
Meanwhile, a convoy is outbound from the USA, carrying what they call "Hunter Seeker Technologies". The plan is for a massive UK commitment to the Cotentin Peninsula, focussing on the port of -
Well, that's enough! Can't give away too many plot secrets.
"The Army's zombie-intervention force had suffered a few budget cuts ..." |
If you aren't interested in films, buses or random musings by Conrad, then you are tired of life and need to retire to Brighton to live in a home on unsalted gruel for the rest of your long grey days, and can miss this bit. The rest of us cool groovy people can carry on.
"Need For Speed"
10 out of 10 if you recognised the "Top Gun" origin of this title*! Yes, this particular poster features cars, pretty young men and a moody blue background. There might have been a woman on the poster, unless it was one of the pretty young men with long blonde hair - not an impossibility. It went by too quickly for Conrad's aged eyes to take it all in.
Still can't tell. I bet the character's name is "Anne Drogynous" |
Dollar Giant. Close enough. |
"Freebirds"
Grrrr. This mocks the memory of the Lynyrd Skynrd classic without watching a single frame of film <takes hands away from eyes>
Take it away! TAKE IT AWAY! |
Heck, a man's got to have something to get his dander up about.
"Create ... Success .. Blah Blah Blah"
This was a tiresome, dull, text-heavy advert that contained entirely too much text and not enough funny pictures, so I don't know what it was supposed to be selling and I'm someone keeping any eye out for bus posters so I don't know what the target audience will be thinking -
Instead have a picture of Blini, Russian yeasted pancakes |
No. Yesterday I couldn't remember if this was Pepsi, Coca-Cola or Bob's Septic-Spring Water and I still can't remember. Clearly the ad agency - obviously! - need to re-think their campaign.
Bob's Septic Springwater. Available in Radioactive Red or Biodeath Blue |
You can come out now bustrophobes
So - Tanks?
Well why not. You've behaved yourselves. What shall we have today?
"Honey I junk the kids" |
Domesticated Wolf - Cat Magnet***
Surely by now you know of Edna, latest addition to the Mansion.
Indoor mode; static and silent |
Outdoor mode: bouncy and flouncy |
Yup. There he is |
** All Hollywood suits are spawn of Satan; he even has occasional visting rights there.
*** Do not go there! The word "pussy" is not going to adorn this article!
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