Or, "hello, gentle reader!" - in Esperanto.
What is Esperanto? Why, a constructed, artificial language invented in 1887 by Ludwik Zamenhof. Ludwik's hope was that a language that transcended national boundaries and nationalism, which was constructed logically and scientifically, and that could be easily learnt, would put war on the back foot. Clever chap, Ludwik - able to speak Russian, Yiddish, Polish, German, French, Latin, Greek, Hebrew and English fluently, and able to get by in Italian, Spanish and Lithuanian.
That was in 1887. Since then a lot of water has passed under the bridge, and a fair bit of blood, too, so it's fair to say Ludwik's pious hope has not come true.
If you've ever seen the first series of "Red Dwarf" you will have encountered Esperanto. The decks in Red Dwarf itself are named "Nivelo x" where x is a number. And "Nivelo"? Esperanto for "Level".
BOOJUM! - always there with a morsel of mental meat!
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| Ludwik L. Zamenhof. Nivelo-headed chap. |
By now you have probably seen the following advert:
| How charming! |
| Rather less charming |
"Eructation"
Again BOOJUM! engages didactically, seeking to expand your philological boundaries.
Here we see a word obviously derived from the Latin, meaning sub-surface activity beneath a volcano, all that seething magma going this way and that, seething all the time. Not visible on the surface, of course - that would be an eruption - but still, seething away.
What's that?
It's not?
It means "burping"?
Well you have to admit I got prettttty close!
| Exothermic eructation |
(Judge Khan Presiding)
Mr Wimsey (Prosecution): If I may sum up, your Honour. My clients Have been the victims of years of utterly undeserved abuse. This relentless harassment began in 2009 and continued up to the very moment the trial began. Not only were they attacked - viciously attacked! - going about their daily business, but even when they retired to their homes they were still molested. I have expert counsel to hand here - Mister Barron?
Mister Barron: Yes, your honour. As a chartered and certified building inspector I was investigating claims of shoddy workmanship in the private housing sector. At one such tenement I witnessed the plaintiffs being bombarded with such ferocity that their tenement collapsed. Dozens were killed and injured. I was appalled, utterly -
Judge Khan: Please confine yourself to the facts, Mister Barron. We do not need to know what your thoughts were at the time.
Mister Barron: Sorry, your Honour, no further comment.
Mister Wimsey: One isolated example, your Honour, that illustrates the hellish punishment my clients have endured. This is why I am asking the jury to deliver a "Guilty" verdict, in order to send a message that this kind of behaviour is not acceptable in twenty-first century Britain!
Judge Khan: Thank you, counsel. Now, Mister Lewis, counsel for the defence, would you care to wrap up?
Mister Lewis: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, what can I say? They're Angry Birds!
(After an hours consultation, the jury delivers a "Guilty" verdict)
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| Angry Birds after being sentenced to be battered. |
Just barely. I may have mentioned the CV33 before, in which case I apologise. This was a little tin can of a vehicle, mounting a machine gun, built by the hundred because this allowed Mussolini to pretend he had real armoured divisions, when instead he had self-propelled machine guns crewed by midgets. Because nobody else could have fitted into the damn things.
Here is one found in Iraq. Quite what it was doing there is anyone's guess. Hiding from real tanks, perhaps?
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| Can be pedalled at a speed of 0.5 m.p.h. |
Damn, these final posts seem to have been monopolised by Edna, don't they? Here's another of the evil little rascal, thinking wicked thoughts -
| Awww, how cute! The puppy's alright, too. |
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