In Dis-Guys

It Makes More Sense If You Say It Out Loud
I should thank David Lister for the opportunity to make ghastly puns.  Listy has a Facebook page as well as a blog, and today I found he had requested people to create some punning comments about the Guy armoured car, which he would try to sneak into the relevant page for Tank Encyclopedia, if possible.  Art?

The beast in question

     For some bizarre reason the War Office wanted to call it a "Wheeled Tank, Light" when it was very obviously an ARMOURED CAR.  A rather large one, too, clocking in at 5 tons and well over seven feet tall, meaning it's role of sneaking about would be a tad compromised.  Just a moment -

@historylisty

     Should you care to cruise about his FB pages.
     Now, you should know by now that Conrad is an inveterate punster and needs little to no encouragement to indulge, so here's what I posted over on FB:

1)   "The decision was taken by it's designers to go for the wheeled rather than tracked solution, so the Guy ended up being tired."

2)  The Royal Corps Of Signals tested an experimental Guy for laying telephone wire over long distances, thus protecting the signallers who would normally work out in the open. Such wiring was impressively regular and straight, as opposed to the hand-laid version, and was informally known as "Guy-ed Lines".

3)  It is rumoured that the last 3 surviving Guys were purchased by a pools winner, who quoted to the news media that she was going to "Guy! Guy! Guy!"

Guy Forks
(Someone got there before I did)

     No reaction from Listy yet - he may be too offended to ever bother.  
     Well, that's enough of Guys, next you'll expect me to be going on about Dolls -

HA!
I may have mentioned occasionally that I have more than a passing fondness for Danish indie electro-rock, and that whilst I can get by on Mew, Carpark North and The Knife, the whole thing was triggered by accidentally coming across a Danish Greatest Hits compilation, that I'd long forgotten the name of.  Ah, memory, how you do taunt me.
      Enter Spotify Premium, and "Rob" (my normal human name for getting about undetected in society).

The epitomy of love-hate in one potent package

     I went through the old playlist compiled under "Rob" and there's some interesting insights into what music I liked about 8 years ago.  Dragonforce?  Hmmm.  Limited appeal after one song, I'm afraid.  Anyway, right at the end came this -

Presto

     I've not listened to any of them yet, as I may have fallen out of love with them by now.  Time telling and all that.  I shall take an earful and let you know*.

Back To The Fearfully Art Stuff
For we return to the BBC's 100 Novels That Shaped Our World.  If you doubt that books have any influence or effect in the modern world, just look at the furore created by "The Satanic Verses" or "Spycatcher".
      The second classification for novels is "Love, Sex And Romance", which you might doubt Your Humble Scribe has any connection with, as they're all bound to be chick-lit -

Surprise!

     Conrad is currently plodding through this work, which he feels is occasionally amusing though rather long.  I confess I only bought it because I'd already read "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies", which I wasn't too impressed with, since it thought it was a lot cleverer than it really way.  Better read the source material, I told me, so I am doing.
      That's it: one out of ten.  Still better than the none out of ten for "Identity".
      Rather disappointingly, there are no reasons given for why these works were chosen above any others, so one has to ask what is so utterly wonderful about P&P?  Conrad suspects because it was one of those rare things, a successful novel written by a woman in the early nineteenth century.

Jane with groovy headgear

     Of course, this is long before they got the vote and things began to go downhill <Mister Hand intervenes to redact a 164 page screed about how things have gotten so much worse>.     Tomorrow!  We will tackle "Adventure"*.
     Yesss!  That treacherous toad Errinwright has got his vastly-deserved desserts over on "The Expanse", having just been arrested for treason.  And for looking unsufferably smug about it, too, I would have added.

     Where were we?  Ah yes, busy playing Death Cab For Cutie's album "Transatlanticism" on Spotify Prem, because it's not in production any more.  

         
                                                     Suddenly - WEASELS!

Weird Films That Were Never Made
More input from Aunty Beeb.  Hey, I pay my licence fee, the least they can do is recompense me with some sources of input!
     Okay, apparently Russell Crowe wanted a sequel to the first "Gladiator", which immediately led to a problem, because his character dies at the end of the first film.  Hopefully that's not too big a spoiler for you.  If not, then I don't care, that's how horrid I am.

"I feel a bit peaky," admitted Maximus.  "I'll just - "

     So, the sequel had to have him miraculously revived, or go back in time, or it was all a dream (the Lazy Option for screenwriters).  Mr. Crowe asked Nick Cave to write a prospective script, which featured a miraculous revival at the hands of the Roman gods, who need someone to take out Jesus, who turns out to be Maximus's son, and - 
     You know what?  Cut to the chase.  It didn't get made.  No surprise there, though I hope Nick got well paid for his - er - "interesting" take on religion, the afterlife, mythology and even more religion.

Hmmm.  Perhaps not ...

     And with that we are over the Ton and thus this post is done
*  I bet you can hardly wait.  I bet you're quivering with anticipation.  Quivering!