Dan Ish

That Is, About Dan
What?  You were expecting more of the Danes, and how Danish they are, and how Viking-y they used to be?
     Ha!  Caught you out, didn't I? 


     Here we see Dan Ackroyd in his younger, slimmer days, possibly from SNL.  Possibly not.  I don't care enough to care, now that I've ensnared you, gentle reader; that's how horrid I am.
     Okay, let us now travel back in time to yesteryon, where Conrad was babbling on about Vikings, alright, except these were the ones that come from Minnesota, over in South Canada.  There is a term - what's that?  More about Vikings?  No!  NO MORE VIKINGS!
     <ahem> back to Minnesota.  It transpires that there is a term called "Minnesota Nice", which refers to the perceived behaviour of those who dwell in that state.  Art?

Mini-Minnesota

     Minnesota Nice equates to "Courteous, reserved, averse to confrontation, and quite the opposite of brash". 
     How apposite!  These are the salient characteristics of those who are blessed enough to dwell in this - excuse me - This Sceptred Isle.
     Nice to see that some of our national character is still maintained by those upstart South Canadians <goes off into the middle distance whistling "Rule Britannia">

Rah rah rah!

     Egad!  A thousand words to do in just over half an hour - can't hang around being chatty!  And, no, I haven't forgotten about the motley.


More Of Those BBC Goofs
Really, you'd think Auntie Beeb had invented the goof, they way they went on about a recent handful of cases.  For example, they bleat in triumph about an error in "Downton Abbey", where some hapless cast or crew member was careless, and either nobody spotted the goof or - more likely - they did spot the goof and decided to allow it.

Yeah yeah yeah

     I really don't care enough about this horrid program to indulge in anything further about it; Your Humble Scribe hasn't seen any of it and doesn't intend to, since I had to endure "Upstairs Downstairs" back in the Seventies.
     Then they try to tackle Indiana Jones, with the following:

Its opening instalment, Raiders of the Lost Ark, set in 1936, sees a plane fly over a map that includes Thailand and Jordan.

But there's a problem. Thailand was called Siam until 1939, while Jordan was known as Transjordan until 1949.

     What on Earth?  Do they expect nonagenarian film viewers to ring in and complain about using comprehensible modern names for countries that, if named correctly for the time period, would merely puzzle and confuse audiences?
     GET OUT OF HERE THIS IS NOT A GOOF!
     You want a goof?  I'll show you a goof!  Art?

See?  See what a goof really is?!

     I'm guessing that's an RPG 2, a weapon not invented until long after the Second Unpleasantness, by the Sinisters, so it is wholly anachronistic here, by at least ten years.
     Going back to yesteryon, I did also blather on about the end credits of "The Earth Dies Screaming" where you can see traffic moving about - I shall come back to this.

     There was another seed pearl over on the BBC's website, about the 6 weirdest films never made, but I think we've had enough of Auntie for now.

One Of The Six Weirdest Films Ever Made
I dunno.  There seems to be something about the Slav psyche that delights in the strange, the surreal and the disturbing.  Don't forget, 'robots' were invented by a Czech, and Polish film posters are usually terrifying, and Gogol wrote a whole novel about an axe-murderer.

The evidence, your honour

     Really, how do you make a family-friendly film poster so utterly Wrong?
     Anyway, let us now praise Jiri Trnka - no, I don't know how to pronounce it either - for one of his animated - er - entertainments.  Art?

"The Hand (1965)"

     I've seen this one.  It features an Everyman who is tormented by a giant hand that simply will not let him be.  Yes, it may be lonely, but - and this goes for all the giant disembodied hands out there - being pushy and intrusive is not the best way to make friends.  Hand, you need to try a bit of the Minnesota Nice persona and see where that gets you.
     Then, of course - obviously! - there is the great Jan Svankmajer, whose animations can be so bizarre as to defy description.  For example - Art?

?

     And there we shall leave it as I am about to commence the nose/grindstone interface.
     Here I am, back again.    And so is Jan.  Those who are easily alarmed had best look away now -

Just.  Don't.  Ask.

     I bet the Ruffians are secretly glad they no longer rule over Czechoslovakia, especially their horrid censors, as people like this cannot be good for your mental health (even if they do make jolly nice lager): it would be interesting to know how many Sinister censors did actually go round the twist after having to review all this stuff, or Polish film posters. 

     Half a moment, what's this repellent article taking up valuable space on the Beeb's website?

"Can You Name All These Strictly Dancers?"

NO.

     Moving swiftly on, because nothing annoys Conrad more than the giant joke being played at his expense that is SCD - hang on, let me get a drink of water to wash this lunch down with -

Ow!
Bitten in the nethers by the Coincidence Hydra AGAIN. There I was in the kitchen, having a quick chat with Sam, and she stated that, since she's only processing forms, she's been listening to music, specifically UB40 -
     UB40.
     Whose first big hit was "The Earth Dies Screaming".  Art?

Can't see much screaming going on here, frankly

     And which cheesy low-budget horror film from 1964 have I been banging on about on BOOJUM!, for reasons that escape me for the moment (code for "I cannot be bothered to go check").  Why, none other than "The Earth Dies Screaming", which title was apparently a joke that stuck.  Art?

See?  See how I am not raving*?

     And with that, we are done!

* Yet.