Starbuck Rogers

Tee Hee!
Yup, still making a mockery of it with the mocha.  Or even - get this -  a mochary. 

Tank up on tea with a teapot tank

      Giving you time to get over your wincing, I did mention in today's earlier post that there does appear to be a bit of a plot hole in a few films featuring zombies or folks infected by hideous diseases that mimic the condition.  Why don't they just attack each other? is the question that springs to mind.

Well, to my mind, anyway.

     The further exploration of the world behind "28 Days Later" does offer an explanation.  The Infected attack us due to how we smell - apparently we reek, rather.  I don't know if we smell so delicious that they want to eat us, or pong so appallingly that they merely want to rip us apart; whichever, it's down to smell.

Oooh!  Exciting!

     The Hungries in "The Girl With All The Gifts" are normally quiescent, and can be negotiated as long as you move slowly, quietly and avoid eye contact.

Obviously, someone was careless

     In a comic that I only got the first copy of, and whose title escapes me, two survivors in a South Canadian city survive by donning stinky old clothes and zombie masks, which enables them to pass for the walking dead amongst the walking dead.  In fact, in one of the earlier trade paperbacks of "The Walking Dead", our heroes attempt to scavenge supplies after coating themselves with a collection of offal.  This works fine to begin with, until - it rains.
     I think that's enough reminiscing about revenants.  Let us throw the motley over the wall of the dog pound, now that we've tied a pork chop around it's neck!*

Conrad:  Happy As He Ever Gets
I did bewail my inability to lay my hands upon my DVD of "The Halls Of Montezuma" yesterday, after searching in half a dozen places where I keep my collection. Then I recalled there was a seventh - and lo and behold, there it was, hiding at the bottom.  Art?

     Conrad seems to recollect that there was a lot of military hardware on display here, which the South Canadian Marine Corps were quite happy to supply, as the film is entirely laudatory and uncritical.  You could get away with that sort of thing in the Fifties.

BOOJUM! Reviews Films
Once again for those who are new, have a short attention span or are unfortunate enough to have English as a second language, I shall recapitulate our Film Review Rules.
     1)  Go by the title alone.
     2)  Generalise wildly.
     3)  That's it.
     If you want a proper film review, go and Google Mark Kermode.  Not only is he an incisive and insightful film critic, he is also a musician.  Plus, he's a big fan of The Comsat Angels, and so automatically gets a "Get Out Of Uranium Mines Free" card when my starship invasion force arrives.  The rest of you reprobates, take note.

Mark, returning to bass

     Okay, enough prating.  Let us review.
"A Bad Moms Christmas":  Conrad is not hopeful for this one.  Firstly, we haven't even got Halloween out of the way, and already they're banging on about Christmas?  Secondly, why do we, here in the Allotment of Eden, have a film title that panders to arcane South Canadian spelling?  It ought to be "Mums", thank you very much, just as it should have been "Pearl Harbour".

Girl Arbour.  Close enough

"Murder On The Orient Express":  Warning - SPOILER ALERT!  Seriously, if you intend to go see this mobile snuff movie, be warned that there are SPOILERS AHEAD!






     That's enough of a warning gap.  If your humble scribe recollects, the original film starred Richard Widmark as the murder victim.  Yes!  The same chap from "The Halls Of Montezuma" - I keep telling you everything is connected to everything else.  I haven't seen that film, but I did read the book, and the murderer was actually everyone on the train.  So, there you go, I've just saved you £10.00.  Or, if you live in Sodom-on-Thames, £20.00.

This is a train to miss.  Sincerely.

"Breathe":  Ah, now, this is more like it!  A  film surely based on that Pink Floyd song from "Dark Side of the Moon", called "Breathe".  Conrad is not sure, exactly, how you'd base a 90 minute film on a song that lasts 4 minutes, tops.
     Oh.  Unless it's that horrid species of cash-in, a prequel.  You know, as regards that horror film "Don't Breathe".  Hmmm.  I shall watch with interest..

Pink Floyd: the hairy years

*  Yes, we've come a long way since merely letting the motley out of the door.  Progress, baby, progress!

Tim Hortons Hears A Who

I Think That's Pretty Clever, Myself
Although there is also the risk of being too clever.  I shall probably have to explain away my cleverness, which is something I quite enjoy.  
     So.  Premise the first.  We here at BOOJUM! are continuing our policy of having daily titles that pun on tea, principally, and also coffee, as they apply to film titles.  Can't have you getting stale and complacent, can we?  I've managed to sustain this for about seven weeks now, and am still amusing myself with the idea*.

The Cyberman prototype needed tweaking

     Premise the second.  "Tim Hortons" (no apostrophe) is a variety of coffe-and-cake shop that originated in British America, and which has expanded with an international footprint.  Yay British Americans!  I recall the Bad Astronomer (who also goes by the name Phil Plait) posting a photo of a Tim Hortons on Instagram when he crossed the border into Canada British America, stating that now he knew he was in Canada British America.

Evidence

     Premise the third.  There is an animated film version of Dr. Seuss's "Horton Hears A Who".  Art?

Perhaps he was just - er - trunk?

     There.  You may now stand back in moderate awe at my title for today.
     I think that's enough verbiage to count as an Intro. Let us encase the motley in a giant plastic ball and hurl it onto the Thames!

The World's Most Boring Hobby
I suppose I do have some competition from pylon-spotters and Test Card F fans.  I shall, however, not be denied in asserting that this is a very dull hobby indeed.  One for the anoraks with loooong attention spans.
     "Tell us about it!" I hear you chanting, over the sound of the pistachios you are eating.  be careful with the shells and dispose of them properly, they hurt if you stand on them. 

Nuts.

 "For we are keen to know what you, scribe of dubious habits and even more dubious interests, consider dull beyond belief."
     Oh, go on then.  It is - IMDB Film Goofs Auditing!  One takes a film that is available on DVD, fires it up and then compares the film itself with the Goofs listed against it on the IMDB website.
     I can hear your minds glazing over.  It's not as straightforward as you might think. The Goofs are listed in completely random order, and there are often duplicates present, so Conrad copies them into Word, removes things mentioned more than once, and tries to put it into chronological order.
     From last night the film in question is "The Longest Day".  Art?

Certainly one of the longest films

     I note from my notes that it was last touched in June 2016.  Quite the hiatus!
     I instantly noticed a goof that nobody else has.  The opening scene has a civilian being pursued over an open field by an SS officer in a staff car.  As the camera pulls back slightly, you can see the tyre tracks made in the grass by the camera vehicle, as it paces the running actor.
     I didn't take a photo, so you'll just have to trust me on this.  I have an honest face**.

Fratricide
Not in the biblical sense of Cain slaying Abel, rather in the sense of a target population turning on itself, folks doing their very best to finish each other off.
     My musings on this were triggered by watching both iterations of "The Crazies".  You'll notice in both versions that the crazies were only attacking the non-crazy townsfolk.

Case in point

     How does this work?  The director may have an explanation in the commentary for the remake, or not.
     Does what pass for a thought process in the mind of the infected recognise fellow infectees, and give them a free pass?  "They're as bonkers as I am - better leave them alone."
     This is a valid question of zombie films, too.  I may come back to this.

If that's okay?

     Excuse me whilst I interrupt the creative process and go put some chicken in the oven.

     <minutes elapse>

     Okay, don't let me forget it.  Where were we?  Okay, that's mention of zombies out of the way.  Now for - TANKS!

The Nazis are doomed, I tell you!

     In fact that's not four superhumans lifting a 30-ton tank.  It's actually a rubber inflatable, deployed out in the open by the hundred prior to D-Day (a.k.a. The Longest Day), there to be seen by any Luftwaffe reconnaissance aircraft that happened to be stooging by.

For clarity

*  Your mileage may vary, but I'm the one who matters, here.
**  Some would debate this <the awful truth courtesy Mister Hand>