Photo Essay: Edna Wunderhund

Whilst Sorting Out Photographs

     I realised that I have a set of pictures featuring our very own Wunderhund, Edna the (Small) Domesticated Wolf.  She is 6 months old now, having been a part of the family for four months, so let's look back from her arrival onwards (oh and thanks to Anna for warning about taking lots of photos whilst she's young - they grow up so quickly <cue weepy parent nostalgia trip>)

Edna on arrival, deemed to be "really cute" even by non-dog people

Very small indeed.

Almost still!

Not at all still

100 MILES PER HOUR

Asleep and cute.

Asleep and contorted.  These were the only times you could get a decent photo

Puppeh chewz stick

Puppy Detention Facility; note wildly rebellious puppy

Puppy tries to charm grumpy fat man.  Work at it, puppy.

It's working!  Grumpy old sod thaws slightly

Conrad keeps puppy away from precious pen collection

Still life opportunity

Conrad's legs make sort-of beds

Edna!  Don't be so - so - so inelegant!

Puppy in repose after playing a lot

"How to make your human bend to your awesome puppy will"

"I is onleh keepin it warm fur u"

Conrad's invisible puppy-puppet wires

Pooch on the mooch in the Upstair Lair

Edna, perching precariously upon Darling Daughter

 

Edna at full extension.  Probably sniffing at something she shouldn't eat

Bless her, she really does let you know when she needs to go -

 - to go eating beetles in the back yard!

Well there you go.  Look at the next-to-last photo and the first and you'll see how much she's grown and how her fur has changed.  The intelligent mischief-making you can't actually see, but take it from Conrad - it's all there and a bit extra.

What A Difference A Day Makes

Welcome To The World Of Wet
     I see we are back to the typical weather of our Great British Summer.  Remind me, when does global warming give us hot sunny days?  Fortunately for Conrad, the rain abated whilst he was waiting for a bus, elsewise it would have been possible to have sat in a canoe and gutter-paddled all the way into Manchester.
     And - hay pesto! - who does he espy as he makes his way to Waterstones?
     No!  Not Edward Snowden.
     NO!  Not Daniel Craig, either.  Look you're taking the "espy" too literally.  Whom did Conrad see?
     Anna Pavlou, workmate and occasional sidekick in these blogs.  She was staffing the "Mango Rays" stall, which is a bit large to be considered a "stall"*, so Conrad had a bit of a gab and a lemonade - which I would recommend, but you only have today and tomorrow to drink them, they'll be gone after that.

Mango Rays Manchester!  No mangoes!  Because of cloud, no rays either!

     If you are reading this, spare a thought for Anna - serving the public until 9 p.m. at least.  If you are venturing into Manchester, go buy some chilli at Mango Rays - Conrad has spoken!

Waterstones
     See?  The "wet" theme continues, explained Conrad, feeling clever with himself.
     Today was a venture to see if any more James Crumley works had turned up.  Who is - actually was - James Crumley?  An American author of modern crime fiction, which you can characterise not so much as "hard-boiled" as "made of granite".  It has been hard to find his stuff on the shelves recently, so I was glad to find a couple of reprints - except they're American imports, quite pricey, thus Conrad only bought one.
     A delve into the Red Cross charity shop in Royton struck gold - "Introduction To Civil Engineering Construction", the big orange book below.  Conrad, being constitutionally nosey, always wonders what functions that particular piece of plant has on that construction site - well now he has a big fat book that will tell him; and the best bit?  Only 50p!

"The Cruel Sea" - the theme of "wet" continues.  NB "With Our Backs To The Wall" is nothing to do with "Introduction to Civil Engineering Construction".  Just FYI

A View From A Hill
    No!  Not the M R James ghost story.  Good gracious, you're really springing to conclusions today, dear reader.  This continues the theme of "wet", so read on.
     No, this is a view from Conrad's hill: Tandle Hill.  You can see the rain hammering on the road outside the house.  Now, look beyond the central lamp-post.  Normally you can see Oldham Edge, but not today - there is so much rain in the air that all you see is grim grey deluge.  Fortunately, as mentioned above, this vertical river ceased temporarily when I went for the bus.

If this photo were a song, it would be "The Sound Of Soggy"

An Excursion Into Contemporary Politics
     Please excuse this dabbling in the sewage-y waters of modern political life, but there is an historical excuse, honest.
     You may have heard of the Newark by-election that recently took place.  For any overseas readers who are unaware of how British politics operates, this is an election in a singe, comparatively small area, known as a "seat", in order to elect a single Member of Parliament.  The Conservatives held the seat prior to the election and campaigned non-stop at a very high pitch every day, with a lot of commitment from both UKIP and Labour in terms of time and effort expended.

Newark, New York.  Close enough

     Thus, the waggish BBC Political Correspondent stated "Newark hasn't seen such a siege of parliamentarians since the Civil War", which Conrad thought was witty and amusing - yes, Newark was besieged in the English Civil War.
     Hopefully the punchline earns forgiveness, gentle reader.

Flapjack Attack
     After burning that batch on Thursday, Conrad is going to bake a batch that WONT be burned, damn right!  Trouble is, I've only got one recipe for it.  I did sneak a look at the ingredients list of the Tesco flapjack bites in the office on Friday morning, which is: Oats (40%); Partially-Inverted Refined Syrup; Sweetened Condensed Milk; sugar; butter; margarine (12%)

Ingredients are dull, so here's a jet-propelled shopping trolley.

     Now, ingredients are listed in order of greatest amount first, so I may be able to work out a set of ratios from this recipe to the one that toasted, especially if the "12%" refers to the combined butter and margarine.
     Checking internet recipes, Gas Mark 4 does seem to be the right temperature, but none of the recipes cooks for longer than 25 minutes, and most are 20 minutes long - so no wonder mine burnt -

The very opposite of "wet".  I know, I know, reaching a bit

     - yes I am obsessing about that failed batch but Conrad so rarely flubs his baking that his ego is suffering - suffering, I tell you!

Finally
     Edna, tired out and after a bit of quality time.  Pimp Daddy's blog, Edna!  Work that soulful face!

Seconds later, she ate the photographer

*  Unless you put it in uppercase.  "STALL".  Or emphasise size:  "TALL STALL", mayhap?
**  There is no double-asterisked entry today.  Sometimes I just like to keep you on your toes.

Blue Skies And Sunshine - Conrad Is Very Cross!

The Weather Has Spoiled My Anecdote
     Damn!  Just when we were getting used to be continually soaked, too.  
     Okay - Ray Bradbury.  American science fiction author, of a very poetical bent, too.  He wrote a short story "All Summer In A Day", set on a Bradbury-esque Venus*, where it rains non-stop all the time and the sun only comes out for two hours every seven years. It even got a television adaptation.
     Well, Conrad was going to wax wonderfully with regards to the wet, except it's been a lovely sunny day.
     Bah!

Manchester: stunt double for Bradbury's Venus

More Of Rain And Ray
     It's over thirty years since I saw it, but Conrad seems to remember that one part of the science fiction film "The Illustrated Man" features a military expedition lost in the wilds of Venus (?) where, again, it rains non-stop.
     What's the connection?  Ray wrote "The Illustrated Man" and - obviously! - there is a ray gun in the film segment I mention.
     Also, the dog trainer was called Frank.  Frank WEATHERwax.  Coincidence or not?  Phil!  Phil, we need an opinion!

"Aliens are - oh, Ray.  Lovely guy.  Does a nice seafood Neapolitan, whether you want it or not.  Get it? "Whether"?"

A Family At War
     We now, courtesy of Conrad's Mental Time Machine**, travel back to the early Seventies and an ITV drama production that ran for three years, focussing on two Liverpool families during the Second World War.
     What?  Good lord, no, of course Conrad didn't watch it!  It probably clashed with something on BBC that his parents watched.  Anyway, what stuck in his rubbish-tip skip of a mind even at that age was an article in the Daily Express about the programme, and the set dresser/props person.  The programme was serious drama, you see, and good old Props had to get accurate bits and pieces - including a dozen period-accurate beer bottles for a scene in a bar where an aircraft crew were drinking.  They managed, after considerable effort, and Props stated that they wished all the bottles were turned to the camera so viewers could see the labels and realise they were authentic.
     And - er - that's it.  Except to say that the series gets a very high rating on IMDB - 8.4, so if you come across it, you can do worse than watch it.

Look!  This balloon has just started to explode!

The Family From One End Street
     In a similar time-frame, and once again utilising the Mental Time Machine, let us travel to the last twenty minutes of Friday afternoon at Conrad's primary school, when he was one of a clutch of classmates who had to listen to the teacher read from a chosen book. 

Conrad had to stand in the corner for weeks after requesting this book to be the afternoon read ...

 "The Children From One End Street" was one of these books, probably because it deemed to be a modern classic.  It was about, as far as Conrad could be bothered to pay attention, about a large, poverty-stricken working class family in London in the Thirties.
     Modern Classic?  bah!  Conrad hated it!  This is a person who is reading "Biggles" and Andre Norton and "Who Goes There?"** and Sherlock Holmes so excuse me if the ravingly-dull exploits of The Family From One End Street provoke an zzzzzz irresistible desire zzzzzzzzzzzz to fall zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I know it's not the same, but - damn it, it *feels* the same

"Conceal, Create, Confuse"
     No! not the mission statement of Dustbin Beaver's management.  A work about the British using deception on the battlefield in World War One.  As you surely know by now, gentle reader, Conrad has a Keen interest/unhealthy obsession/morbid monomania*** about the Great War and the British contribution thereto.

Well, he conceals, creates and most definitely confuses.  Also does bar mitvahs and hen parties.

     There used to be a phrase used of Britain in the Nineteenth Century - "Perfidious Albion" - which also used to be a fanzine written by a wargaming pundit whose name now escapes my calcified memory, but I will endeavour to discover it - because the British were seen as especially sly, scheming, treacherous and duplicitous.  This is a fantastic compliment coming as it did from European nations whose ancestors included Machiavelli, the Borgias, Cardinal Richelieu and that arrogant bloater Hindenburg.
     Anyway, reading "CCC" and how the British ensured their attack at Amiens in 1918 remained secret causes Conrad to reflect that, yes, Albion can indeed be very very Perfidious.  In a good way!

That's Quite Enough Of That!
     The "that" in question being a bus poster.
     "But Conrad!" I hear you cry (cybernetically-enhanced hearing, before you ask) "You batten upon bus posters for the blog!  How - how can this be?"
     Well, the bus poster in question had an advert for "Frankenstein" - informing you the reader that "After 200 years he's still alive", with a date of 29th January 2014.  Eh what say what?  After 200 days that poster's not been removed, matey!
     Is this maintenance staff at the depot having a laugh, seeing how long they can leave a poster on the 164 before the public notices?  Or are the studios still shelling out for tax reasons?

Frankenfurter.  Close enough.  Also, see above photo and caption

     
*  That is, a Venus of clouds and rain and water, not the real thing, where you would be crushed, dissolved and roasted instantaneously
**  Yes, Conrad is well aware how ambiguous this sounds
***  Delete where applicable

Make Haste! Don't Waste-

  Time.  For The Pub Quiz Is In But 58 Minutes!
     Not only that, the pub is being re-modelled, so there are considerably less seats available, so we need to leave early to ensure Conrad's old bones get to sit.  Plus he got home late thanks to the buses, and has just put a tray of flapjack in the oven - all part of the mad whirl that is Thursday evening at the Mansions.

Orichalcum
     I mentioned this yesterday as one of those words that float up to the top of the malodourous stew that is Conrad's mind.  I had a fair idea that it was a mineral from antiquity, and Hay Pesto!  Google and Wikipedia confirm this, too.
     Except it's not quite as simple as that.  Like "Greek Fire", orichalcum is an item that the modern world has no direct experience or accurate analysis of.  In fact, as an ore, it seems to have run out before Classical times, so even the Greek or Romans who recorded and mentioned it were making something of a stab in the dark.
     Yes, it's an odd phenomenon.  Undoubtedly your ancestors in a couple of centuries decades years will never know who Dustbin Beaver was.

Dustbin Beaver 10 denarii coin

United States of Murder, Inc.
     What? you ask.  Conrad replies that the polite response is "Pardon?", and you may have mine.
     It's a comic book, written by and drawn by Bendis and Oeming respectively - the two chaps responsible for the very excellent "Powers" - and it concerns an alternative world where the Mafia was not driven underground.  Not at all.  In fact it took over the USA and now runs it ...
     Issue One is out now, but Conrad is going to wait for the trade paperback to come out since this will collect a set of single issues into one volume.
     Why is this significant?  Well, it's news in it's own right.  It also echoes a lesser-known work by science-fiction author Cyril Kornbluth, "The Syndic", where America has been divided up between organised crime - The Syndic and The Mob.  Conrad remembers enjoying this <cough cough> years ago and may see if it's available on Abebooks. It will be interesting to see that B & O make of the premise ...

"The United States of Murder , Inc - no, hang on "

Why Tom Is An Idiot
     Not, Conrad hastens to add, young Tom Howl, who is indeed a bit of a WoW at science and Minecraft.  No, Conrad refers to "Tomfoolery".  You are familiar with the word, one takes it?  Said of silly behaviour.  In fact, extremely silly behaviour, so silly it no longer remains within the bounds of righteous Foolery but descends (or ascends?) into - "Tomfoolery".
     Conrad is uncertain why the diminutive of Thomas was chosen, as "Julie" would be more euphoneous - "Juliefoolery" trips off the tongue quite well, does it not?

Tom, adding larceny to stupidity

"3 Days To Kill"
     Ah, how satisfying it is to be able to get annoyed at film posters going by on the bus!
     I refer you, gentle reader, to the above film.  Who signed-off the advertising for this?  And who, pray tell, came up with the title?

You can tell he was painting - look at that spray-gun

     Clearly - obviously! - this is a film about a man hanging around for three days, doing nothing particularly interesting.  Imagine the script:

     Day One:  Painted wall, watched it dry
     Day Two: Mowed lawn, listened to grass growing
     Day Three: Turned on television, watched test card

     Away with you, Hollywood!

Ah Now It Becomes Clear!
     Conrad is pleased to see that progress is being made at Victoria Station and the tram works.  That annoying gap in the girder framework has been filled in, and more structural members have been brought in.

A steel skeleton, so to speak

    You can see that each concrete pier is to have one curved strut extended vertically from it, the gaps between these "ribs" then being filled in with shorter struts.

The Wold Crup
     A somewhat bemused Conrad understands that this event is being held in Brazil.  This actually makes sense, as "CRUP" is a group of Portuguese academics, and what language do they speak in Brazil?  
     No, not Gilliam.  Portuguese.  They speak Portuguese.
     The "Wold" bit also makes sense.  It's an Old English word meaning "Woods".  Where is there gigantic deforestation taking place?  Right, Brazil!
     So the Wold Crup is obviously - obviously! - an intellectual debate between University teams to see who has the best plans or projects to combat deforestation.
     Simples!