You Would Be Forgiven For Assuming -
That I was talking about the track by Blue Öyster Cult, from their 'Tyranny And Mutation' album. Art!
A bit of a melange but it will have to do, the alternatives were all pretty dull fare.
ANYWAY that's not what I mean. No, what I refer to is an obscure 90's television show called "The X Files", where Foxy Mulder was paired with Dana Scully as FBI partners, whom investigated all sorts of fringe conspiranoid waffleloon cases, because Mulder never met a conspiracy theory he didn't like. Over the years he had amassed a basement full of files referencing every Fortean event for a couple of centuries, which annoyed one of the dark conspiracies he stumbled across. Art!
So, they set fire to the basement and burned the lot.
Did this stop Foxy? NO it did not! He wrote down everything he remembered and then used exotic cutting-edge NASA camera technology to analyse and replicate the incinerated files. Well done that man.
What does this have to do with anything? O I thought you'd never ask!
If you remember, I'd annotated this film in my own saturnine sardonic style - no idea why - and then spilled mint tea over the handwritten pages. Ooops. Art!
With indomitable fortitude, admittedly with less at stake than Foxy, I rewrote the smeared text. By 21/20/2025 we had gotten to 1 hour 34 minutes in or the top of Page 3 - at which point it suddenly became unviewable on Amazon.
No more screen shots for Conrad. Oooops.
Okay, if I cannot take pictures to put up as illos on the blog, what comes up when I Google? Or check out Youtube? Hmmm perhaps this is potentially possible after all.
So here we are. I am going to finish this film review off in one go, it's gone on quite enough already, so we may only have a single giant Intro for the day's first blog.
RIGHT! When last we left them, By Wild Coincidence a storm of comet fragments hit a giant traffic jam our trio are stuck in. Art!
Bear in mind that it's now at least 24 hours since the initial comet fragments began to arrive, so Clarke is clearly a far, far greater threat than anyone realised. Or did they?
ANYWAY AGAIN, as you can see above, driving and surviving this comet bombardment is perilous indeed, as By Wild Coincidence the fragments are only large enough to cause a small explosion on impact, not dig out a crater half a mile across. ArtQ
John burns his arm rescuing an unconscious man from a blazing car, a deed of derring-to that is never referred to again. Edited out to remove his atonement for slaying a man with a hammer, due to running time? Art!
This is one of the film's quietest yet most eerie moments: Customs on the South Canada/British American border are deserted, the staff presumably having better things to do in their last days.
Actually hold that thought. Hours, not days. An official NASA spox comes on the radio and given an exact time six hours hence when Clarke's largest fragment, a planet-killer nine miles wide, will impact in the Western Mediterranean.
Okay, NOW you can provide accurate time and location data for comet impacts? And these comet fragments are still hitting, a day and a half after they began? How come nobody noticed how extremely dispersed Clarke was? A space-rock nine miles wide would be clearly visible in the night sky for months, not days - O I give up. It's In The Script. Art!
Our trio make it to the airfield mentioned ages before, Osgoode, only to find, By Wild Coincidenc, the last plane is about to take off. John plays a verrrrry dicey game of chicken in order to get aboard - Art!
But it works. They board the plane carrying nothing but what they wear and Nathan's insulin. Art!
Thank you, Google. Nathan, cheer up for heaven's sake, you may even survive!
By Wild Coincidence - I'm getting fed up of this phrase already - their plane never makes it to the airfield at Thule, because a comet, fragment, near miss, crash landing mutter mutter. The heroic pilots are both killed stone dead. Art!
"John was going to complain about the drinks service but cavilled"
Conrad is unsure why the script killed the pilots. There is no consequence for their deaths, only a sneaking suspicion that John is a bit of an excrement-magnet. Art!
ANYWAY By Wild Coincidence a pair of army trucks are out for a constitutional in the wilderness around Thule, which is fortunate indeed as it would have taken half an hour to hike there. They pick up the refugees, asking no questions, and hasten them inside the huge underground base. Art!
By diligent and conscientious scriptwriting - no, I'm lying, By Wild Coincidence a huge comet fragment tears overhead. Hang on, all these sirens going off and trucks driving around madly and army personnel running like Usain Bolt after a barrel of Red Bull - did they know this fragment was about to arrive? If so, why were those trucks bimbling about in the open? Don't tell me - It's In The Script. Art!
There is a frantic rush from everyone present on the surface to get to a safe level underground for when that nine-mile monster hits the Med. It's expected to raise 1,000 PROUD IMPERIAL MEASUREMENT foot tsunamis and generate winds of over 600 miles per hour. South Canadians are reluctant to give up the metrics that we, the noble and mi
ANYWAY AS WELL, we get various shots of different capital cities across the globe, showing how badly hit they were. Art!
Sydney
Actually it doesn't look too bad, just a shade worse than Monday morning after they've won the Ashes. Given that it's on the other side of the globe from the impact, one might well imagine it surviving fairly intact. Art!
Hmmm you got me there, no idea where this is, except the architecture looks faintly Renaissance, so perhaps Italy? Not Paris. I know this because - Art!
NO IT IS NOT BLACKPOOL TOWER
Paris gets a shot all of it's own, and there seem to be a whole lot of structures still standing. Far more than I would expect for a capital so close to ground zero. Someone in the IMDB Comments chose to jib at this, claiming that France would be mostly Giant Craterland, with what remained swept clean of flora, fauna and Hom. Sap. To which I would riposte, seen it happen, have you? Art!
Sorry for how dark these illos are, they were never intended to be viewed on a screen this small. I hope you can distinguish what seems to be a South Canadian football stadium, in a bit of a fixer-upper condition. Art!
This is the eastern seaboard of South Canada, showing all the comet impact points, or the ones large enough to be seen from orbit. Art!
There's Florida, with the initial impact point shown to it's north-east, and a massive strike in the centre.
What I can't show is the background chatter of different radio stations across the planet, as Hom. Sap. is shown to not only not be extinct, but quite thriving. May take a while to get the Kennel Club back up and running.
There you go, 1,235 words on a single subject. Thanks to Youtube and Google for supplying images. Now, as it's past midnight, I will take my leave.
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