NO! This Intro Is Not About Drugs
Legal or otherwise. You are paying altogether too much credence to Robert Zimmerman and his counter-culture ballad 'Rainy Day Women #12 and 32', which features a stanza thus -
There are many interpretations of exactly what this means, any of which may be correct, and for today's Intro we are going to zoom in on and focus on 'stone', repeatedly. Art!
In keeping with the title, those are The Rolling Stones, in their true guise as cyborg zombies. Props if you can guess which is Muck Jigger.
ANYWAY I am returning to a particular section of 'Brewer's Dictionary Of Phrase And Fable' that I first encountered when checking on Stonehenge, and O My! are there plenty of entries here. None of which are to do with drugs, Bob. Art!
Behold the scone. These little baked beggars are tricky to get right, frequently ending up too flat and dense. I mention these thanks to the 'Stone of Scone', which is an ancient Scottish stone used for the crowning of Scottish kings way back in the day when they had their own monarchy. It was located at Stone, a town near Perth. The Perth in Scotland, not Australia. Art!
The Sassenachs stole it in 1296 and snaffled it off to Westminster Abbey, where it was confusingly counter-stolen in 1950, returned in 1952 and returned to Caledonia in 1996. It had, presumably, in the meantime, gathered exactly 0% moss. Art!
Here we see John Squire, lead guitarist from The Stone Roses, which is Conrad's hilarious take on 'Stone Axes', which were artefacts associated with the Stone Age, where Hom. Sap. was using all sorts of implements before the development of metals technology*. Art!
These implements were all the rage 6,000 years ago, when having a hafted axe gave you an arms-length advantage over people you were trying to do you in, allowing you to do the doing-in before they got the chance. Hom. Sap. not big on diplomacy in the Stone Age it seems.
Then we have STONEWALL, which my Brewer's informs me is of Australian political origin, meaning to be deliberately obstructive in preventing action or progress. Art!
By a process os philological osmosis - a phrase you never expected to read today - STONEWALL has become an adopted term in cricket. It means that the batsman - stop me if I get too technical - plays in a purely defensive manner, not attempting to score runs, which might make for a long turn at the wicket but a very dull game as well. Geoff above is one prime example, the cad (he's from Yourkshire, you see - furrin territory). Art!
A cockerel
Now for one I bet you've never heard of before: an ALECTORIAN STONE, since I've never heard of it previously. What is it? O I thought you'd never ask! We are informed that it is a stone, found in the stomach of a cockerel, which renders the holder courage, wealth and strength. Sounds like a winner. However - first use today! - we aren't told with what frequency these stones occur. One can but presume they are rare, and endeavouring to dig them out of their naturally-occurring location risks getting a peck in the eye. Art!
This is a 'TANIST STONE', which sounds rather as it was erected by Bhuddist monks in ancient Tibet.
Well, no. The Tanist Stone was an upright menhir put up by Celtic kings at their coronations, and that above is 'Lia Fail', supposedly erected by Fergus I of Scotland, circa 300 BC. 'Tanist',lest ye be unaware, was the hair apparent to the king in a Celtic clan. Art!
Bath
Why am I reliving the existentially unpleasant experience of our drive through Bath, whose medieval street plan proudly defies the internal combustion engine? Because, gentle reader, that Regency terrace is composed of BATH STONE, which is described as an attractive yet erosion-prone limestone. So, in a century or so, those traffic problems I alluded to may not exist any more, as neither will Bath.
Believe me, we've only just gotten started on STONE but I will pause here in the interests of mercy.
Let's Give BOOH A Bit Of A Shoeing
I will be sad when the Boorish Orange Oaf Himself shambles off this mortal coil, as he is such a reliable source of content. One must moderate his appearance in the pages of BOOJUM! as there is such a thing as over-indulgence. Like BOOH and Macdonalds.
ANYWAY a sidebar item caught my eye. Art!
The pudding's proof is in the eating, unless it's Rum Baba, which is probably 35% proof thanks to the rum ANYWAY AGAIN of course I had to Google 'Trump Cognitive Decline'. Art!
A lot of headlines about how Google may be censoring search results, and, rather tellingly, no AI item at the beginning with the option to 'Read More'. Remember, this is the witless chump who claimed to have prevented war between Cambodia and Armenia, because he used the power of 'Covfefe'. Or something.
A STING In The Tale
NO! That is not a spelling mistake. Gird your loins, we're going to do a quick cost-benefit analysis here.
You'd have to be living at the bottom of the ocean or atop a pillar in the desert to be unaware that Mordorvia has been using Shahed drones to bomb Ukrainian cities and civilian targets. They occasionally hit a military target, usually by accident.
ANYWAY ANYWAY this is Ukrainians we are talking about here. The Orcs of Modern-day Mordor would throw their hands up in the air and wail, then sit down and do nothing if they encountered a similar problem. Art!
The Ukrainians got a shift on and are now moving into serial production of the 'Sting', which you see above, a 3D printed interceptor drone. Art!
These puppies have been trialled en masse and work. What you see above is a Ruffian 'Lancet' loitering munition drone being intercepted by a Sting, which is barely visible to port of the larger Lancet. Art!
Lancet with puny human for scale
This will worry the Ruffians; the Lancet is a very effective drone, but pricey with it - $50,000 per unit. The Sting comes in at $2,500. Using five or six to down a Lancet is still a bargain, and this interception took only one. A single Shahed is also in the $50,000 price range. Ooo-err matron.
Being Keane
Conrad is familiar with verrrry few ballfoot players, but does know Roy Keane, thanks to his extreme drollery on Youtube vlogs. He was known for 110% commitment to his team when he played for Manchester United Dairies. I explain this as background, and also to point out that most ballfoot players are out of the game by 35 at the latest. Now, more schadenfreude about that Bent Ford and MUD game Commentaries.
mark
19:48 27 Sep
First LOL moment of the day. Art!
That's Roy, and it looks as if he's not too happy. Someone is in trouble.
One To Help Hit The Count
Another painting from Terence Cuneo, this one from the First Unpleasantness. Art!
Ol' Tel here depicts Lieutenant John Cridlan Barrett winning a Victoria Cross on 24th September 1918, leading a party storming the Teutons in Forgan's Trench. There's no mention in the description of when the attack took place, but Ol' Tel has placed it at night. Despite being wounded three times, Barrett stormed the enemy trench, put two machine guns out of action, also slaying numerous Huns along the way. He then got out of the trench to fix his location - going astray in unfamiliar territory at night was always a problem in these kinds of actions - and led his men back to their parent battalion.
It's always nice to record that the award wasn't posthumous. Barrett went on to become a surgeon, serving in the RAMC in the Second Unpleasantness.
Conrad Snaps His Fingers
Art!
Maybe so, but the 409 was still running this week, so it seems unaffected by the strike action. Ha!
* NOT heavy metals. Brass and bronze.
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