Buckle Up, Buttercup
Get ready for Part Three of the epic revenge-laden tale of Deceived Sweetie versus her cheating ex, Max, and her equally cheaty ex-best friend, Amy.
For the first part of this story, we heard from DS how she laid the groundwork for 1) moving away to a different part of the city and 2) causing mistrust between the two cheaters. This was her plan, which she achieved completely. What happened afterwards was in the realms of subsequent behaviour and actions from the errant parties. Art!
DS's secret weapon was her next-door neighbour, Martha, whom is clearly the Most Valuable Player in the follow-up, because DS had informed her about the reason for her breaking up and moving out. Martha, you see, loved gossip, and if there wasn't any going around, she would manufacture it herself. Also, the apartment walls were thin, so she got to hear everything that went on. Art!
Amy moved in practically the minute DS moved out. Martha heard them arguing all the time about potentially cheating on each other, as neither trusted the other party - after all, if s/he'll cheat with you, s/he'll cheat on you. Amy always felt Max was out of the apartment too long, which clearly (in her mind at least) meant he'd been cheating on her with DS. As for the soiled mattress and bed-linen above: Amy wanted all-new furniture to avoid sitting anywhere DS and Max had consummated their affection, if you get my euphemism. Art!
Amy was seriously deficient in being able to cook, clean, launder or even take the rubbish out, whereas Max had to have everything neat and tidy and free from dirt. We are already seeing more red flags here than a ChiCom Mayday parade.
Here is where Martha earns her Giant Spoon Award for stirring things, because she casually, lying through her dentures (in her seventies, you see) informed Amy that Max's beautiful 'sister' was coming over a lot more now that DS was gone.
This mistruth fell on fertile ground, because as already explained, thanks to DS's creative lying, neither Max nor Amy trusted each other. There was a major shouting match, where - okay, okay, more a shrieking and screaming match - where Amy was outraged that Max, whom she'd cheated with, was cheating on her. Max responded that he disliked living in a disgusting unclean midden, she was the biggest mistake he'd ever committed to and wanted DS back. Returning on her unicorn accompanied by a flying fairy escort, one reckons. Art!
This went down spectacularly badly with Amy, who resorted to throwing things at Max - she probably had plenty of ammunition thanks to all the dirty dishes lying around - at which he called the police.
Martha, looking for a bar to her Giant Spoon Award, goes out to give a statement and cheerfully informs Amy that Max's 'sister' will definitely be over to help clean up the mess. This provokes Amy into attempting to murder Max, but instead she gets Tazed and put into the back of a police car in handcuffs. Ooops. Art!
She was probably a little more limp than this
It took Amy a couple of days in jail before she could make bail. Yes, she did go to clear her stuff out of Max's apartment, but whilst under police supervision thanks to the Restraining Order he took out against her. She then moved out of state and cut all contact with DS's old friend group, most of whom had already blocked her thanks to her shameless conduct. Max tried, unsuccessfully, to reach out to DS and apologise, only for her to block him everywhere. Four years later she is still No Contact and has no idea what happened to him.
Moral of the story: don't annoy a woman capable of plotting a well-reasoned revenge. Or live next to gossipy conniving neighbours.
Conrad Is ANGRY!
Just because I don't parade my Frothing Nitric Ire around like Edna on a leash - whom I took for a walk today for the first time in weeks - doesn't mean it isn't always there in the background, sly and irresistible, waiting to be invoked for murder - no, hang on, that's from "Forbidden Plant", isn't it? I meant it's always there in the background, waiting to be invoked for Codeword violations, which are almost as bad as murder. In my mind.
ANYWAY let us proceed.
FENUGREEK: Honestly! Truth be told, we actually have some of this in a spice jar in the kitchen cupboards BUT that does not mean it's a solution you'd ever expect to see in a Codeword. The peculiar name comes from the Latin <hack spit> 'Foenum Graecum' meaning 'Greek hay', thanks to where it was originally cultivated in the ancient world. Art!
That ain't hay
MYOPE: Today I learned something new, and now you can, too. A 'Myope' is a person afflicted with Myopia, such as Conrad, who cannot view distant objects properly as their image does not fall on his retina, which means spectacles are worn. Art!
Big Bother is watching you
PNEUMONIA: Not that unusual a word in common parlance, but once again, beginning a Codeword solution with "PN"? There are only 11 words in my 'Collins Concise Dictionary' that begin with this letter combination. It derives, inevitably, from the Greek <hiss boo> 'Pneumon', which means 'Lung'. Art!
"My Iron Pneumon" was never in the running
Continuing Korean Confectionery Comparisons
You ought to be aware of the existence of that Sork delicacy, the 'Choco-Pie', which is definitely not a pie, even if it does have a coating of chocolate.
Your Humble Scribe has been wanting to arrange this comparison for ages, and has not bothered with the scientific incision-making until this afternoon. Art!
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| Before they got naked |
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| A quick comparison as regard dimensions |
Of these two, the Choco-Pie is undeniably the better, being considerably deeper and softer than the WW. Having scoffed both of them in the interests of not wasting food, I have now equalled my sugar quota for the month of February. And, just to blow my flugelhorn a tad, now 22 days into sobriety of an expected 56 or so. Go me.
Picture Imperfect
The Chinese alphabet consists of Pictographs, Ideographs and Logographs, currently classified as 'Pinyin'. Art!
In Chinese use, each -graph forms part of a word, and their 'alphabet', for want of a better word, is immense. Art!
A Chinese typewriter
The Chinese language contains about 50,000 different characters, which is quite a lexicography to swallow. Current dictionaries only (!) contain about 20,000 characters and to be educated and literate one has to be familiar with about 8,000 characters. To get by without struggling too much you need between 2,000 and 3,000 characters. It goes without saying that literacy in China was not common up to the modern era, and most peasants, who composed the majority of the population, were illiterate.
Okay, please identify two civilisations in East Asia that were not Chinese yet which used pinyin as there were no other options? If you guessed Korea and Vietnam, take a bow, collect £200 pounds or ￥1,832 and wait for our next item on this subject. It will come, believe me.
You What?
There are some side-line headlines or web bars that beg the question, 'What on earth are they talking about?' and here is one of them. Art!
They don't apostrophise any words here, nor do they explain what in Hades 'UE5' is, and as far as Your Humble Scribe is concerned, obsidian is a glassy volcanic mineral capable of taking an incredibly sharp edge.
Finally -
Watching the second season of 'Missing: The Other Side', which has 14 episodes, each just over an hour long. So, another drain on my free time when we take into consideration all the seasons of 'Lost' AND 'Invincible' AND "Fallout" that need to be watched. Plus 'Wolf Hall'. O woe is me.
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