Ha! You should have seen your face. As we all know by now, Conrad is not one given to observing motor racing, since cars whizzing around a track ad nauseum feels like cruel and unusual punishment rather than entertainment.
However, in what seems like either serendipity, or synchronicity, or the Coincidence Hydra on the prowl, Conrad does remember a quote from one of his favourite films, 'Apocalypse Now', where Captain Willard, the professional Army killer, is informed that his mission is to neutralize Colonel Kurtz, who has become 1) Barking mad and 2) A murderer. Art!
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| Er - yeah |
In his inner monologue, Willard cynically compares his mission with a motor race - " - charging a man with murder in this place was like handing out speeding tickets at the Indy 500.'
Which naturally begs the question: what is the Indy 500?
It is more formally known as the 'Indianapolis 500-Mile Race' and is held around South Canada's Memorial Day - which is itself held in May and is the South Canadian's version of our Remembrance Sunday. The venue is the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, which if Art will get off his waffle-patterned posterior -
The track itself is 2.5 miles long and dates back to 1909, when the track was based on bricks. As a memorial*, the start line is the only part of the track that still possesses this original brick surface, which must put a bit of a strain on any tyres and suspensions that cross it at speed. Art!
The number of cars is strictly limited to 33, who line up at the start in a column three wide, and whose engines adhere to a convention of V6 engines of 2,200cc capacity, generating up to 750 horsepower.
Here's the kicker. To complete the race, drivers have to do 200 laps. No, that's not a typo; they have to drive 500 miles at speeds in excess of 200 miles per hour, possibly so the audience's attention doesn't wander too much over the span of two and a half hours.
And, boy, is it ever popular! The audience can reach up to 300,000 people and with the cheapest ticket costing $59, the total take is probably about $20,000,000.
ANYWAY of course we have to get back to what you were already wondering because we had Harrison Ford in that first picture, are we going to praise or lambast "Indiana Jones And The Dial Of Destiny"? Art!
Neither, as I've not seen it and don't intend to. They ought to have left well alone after Indy 4 and from what I've heard they exploit the old comic's trick of 'bait-and-switch'. This was where a comic run would have terrific artwork for the first few editions, and then the original artist couldn't keep up with the schedule, so the publishers switched to a considerably less-able artist who could crank out inferior product on demand. Art!
It seems a cynical ploy from the studio to inveigle in a successor to Indy so they can churn out lots of money-making sequels and roll in boatloads of cash.
I know what you're thinking: "It's only a film!"
It's only an EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE film. Budgeted at $300 million - or 15 times Indy 500's takings - and with at least that much spent on marketing and distribution, it's going to have to clear something like $750 million merely to break even. And I'm being conservative here, others (who patently hate the film and may just have an axe to grind) put the break-even point at $900 million. Art!
This isn't an impossible target, TGM reeled in $$1.5 billion at the box office, but it's budget was only (!) $175 million so it had a lot less financial pressure to perform.
IJATDOD opens this Friday and there will be a lot of scrutiny as to how it performs and whether that performance can be sustained. Expect a lot of suits to have an anxiety-stricken sleepless weekend!
Arty-Farty
Those of you familiar with Conrad's taste in art ought to be aware that it aligns along styles like lithography rather than classical oil painting, probably because of the sheer definition of works such as those of M.C. Esher. Art!
However, Your Humble Scribe is also a fan of Gustav Klimt, the Austrian artist who initially began his career doing photo-realistic depictions of classical mythology, which were technically excellent but stylistically barren. Art!
He broke the mould with depictions of sensuality and passion, particularly using bright shades of red and gold. Art!
And, fittingly, the last painting that he was working on before he died has been sold for an enormous sum: $103 million (or one-third of an Indy 5). Art!
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| 'Lady With A Fan' |
Hard to believe that this painting is over a century old. Plus, we here at BOOJUM! are glad of the fan, as otherwise Lady would be NSFW.
"City In The Sky"
It's one thing to watch the world indulge in a minor nuclear war, and quite another to be able to do anything positive to either halt or mitigate it.
Dovid looked across the whole panorama of
screens before replying, taking out a pair of steel-framed glasses that gave
him a slightly odd look, a gardener trying to be a scientist.
‘Ye-es.
Those launches, I bet, are from the Javelin anti-missile missile
system. You only picked them up because
we are directly over the launch sites.
Otherwise they’re too small for Arc One to track.’
‘Are they nuclear-tipped?’ asked a
voice. Dovid took his glasses off and
chewed one leg.
‘Nuclear, no, not at all. But to pick up the launch – I think they must have fired off every missile they have, to create a signature large enough to be seen from orbit.’
Kouroush stood back from his hydroponic
tomato bed, feeling pleased with himself.
They were coming along well, the tomatoes – his tomatoes – and
tasted nearly as nice as his parent’s crop, that taste
from a distant childhood. Unlike some of
the sphere’s residents, he didn’t ever forget that he lived on the inside of a
delicate orbiting artificial habitat; being one of the five nuclear energy
experts aboard kept one firmly grounded in reality. Growing food crops had been a suggestion from
the Israeli, Weitzman, as a way of reducing tension. And it worked!
I Told You So
You know, for a republic, the South Canadians have an unholy fascination with This Sceptred Isle's monarchy, none more so that "The Daily Beast". EVERY SINGLE EDITION will have an item about our Royal Family, and here's today's picture to prove me right. Art!
I am pretty hazy about who, exactly, William and Kate are, although I'm pretty sure they don't live down the road at number 437.
Ladies, Gentlemen And Those Unsure
I give you - the reciprocating saw! Art?
This is the battery-powered version, thus able to be used out in the wild, if the fancy takes you.
Don't forget:
- Wear safety goggles
- Use a sharp blade
- Be aware of where your hands are
- Hold with both hands
- Watch where the power cable is
- Don't use near flammable materials
You should now enjoy years of fun with your reciprocating saw!
Finally -
They didn't have any fresh mint in Morrison's tonight, so that Mint Julep will just have to wait. Maybe next week.
* Do you see wh - O you do.
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